I Will Endure

Dear Diary,

It feels like a long time. I have thought about you but I kept on procrastinating. I am not lazy; I am merely tired from work. You know how my job is like don’t you? It is a very physically demanding job. I wake up at six in the morning and come home late in the evening. I stand for at least 10 hours at work. My feet hurt and my knees get weak as the day passes. I have forgotten what I have told you about my work and what I have not told you. Working here makes me feel so detach to you. I do not have the time to do anything else except to work. I get tired most of the times that I can only afford to take my shower and go to sleep after work.

How are you Diary? I am coming closer to my first full month’s salary for the new job. Things look pretty fine if I just stay focus to save for the stall. I must stay focus. I cannot afford to lose it this time. I have come so far and have waited for so long. Things at work are not all rainbows and butterflies but I do not give a damn about it. People here are rowdy with very poor capability to maintain good rapport among themselves. They are not diplomatic when it comes to solving issues neither are they sensitive to disputes. Quarells and dissatisfactions happen almost everyday. I hear complains and a lot of bad mouth. It is like a routine.

There are no stresses but there are sure lots of tensions among colleagues. I cannot stand it. It is different when you are so used to working in a white-collar environment. I have to do many adjustments. I must try to blend in and get along with the ways thing are here. It is about how they talk, joke and work. I must admit it is totally a different atmostphere. I did not feel the difference when I was here as a part timer. I feel it now as a full fledge employee. I suppose working here full time makes me see the inside of the warehouse up close and personal. I guess it is the same everywhere. If there are no stresses then there must be tensions somewhere and vice versa. We cannot have our cake and eat it.

I got into some trouble a few times since I joined full time. It was not my fault neither was it my mistakes. There were tensions and frictions between my leader and I. I felt terrible and angry. It left me quiet for a few days at work. I did not talk to my colleagues unless it is necessary. One thing I knew I wanted to do after that was to disrespect my leader. I knew how she handles things and how professional she is. I talked less nowadays at work and just do what I have been instructed to do. My focus is to save money for the stall. I know I could haave done better elsewhere but I chose to stay here and I will complete my agenda. When the time comes, I will leave with my head held high that I am becoming my own boss once again. Things got better after that as I gave her my silence treatment. I did not react negatively however I just do my own thing ignoring how obvious she showed her temper infront of my eyes. Trolleys got smashed hard against the fence and I simply did not take into account of it.

She is low and I am not bringing myself to her level. Period.