FaikaNur - Dear Diary: November 2012

Sunday, November 25, 2012

I Knew It Since I was Five

Dear Diary,

I am a happy woman lately. I am saying this because mother and I have begun talking to each other again. Although that is the main reason, there are other reasons too such as I am a little financially sound than before therefore, I am visualising myself running my very own food stall soon. In addition, things at work are looking good for me. Even though I have a leader who practices favouratism, I managed to escape from being her victim.

I am planning carefully for this first phase of getting the business to start. Firstly, I must be financially sound. I must have enough otherwise; it will all defeat the purpose. I must not rush things and I must make sure I secure a good if not the best location for the stall. The menu is planned, the work systems have been drafted and all I need to do is to wait for the time to execute it.

My family and I are planning for a road trip to Thailand or Langkawi. It will be an immediate family affair no relatives or friends. Perhaps it is time for family bonding. I have been working so hard to save for the stall that I barely manage to see my parents at home. I leave home early in the morning and I come home late. It is good that we are going for this trip, as I really need this break.

I have learnt new things at work and I have more responsibilities now. I have learnt how to do gifting for online orders and cargoes release. To sum it up, I have known all the things that I need to do in the department I am in. I am not very good at it all but I have never done any major mistakes that can jeopardise my appraisal. You can say that I am proud of myself. I have never worked in a warehouse before but I am thrill to say that I learn what I need to learn fast and this add up to my existing working experience. I guess it is good for me in a way or two, as I want to end up being my own boss and running my own company. I certainly need a little bit of knowledge of this and that. At least now, I know how to store my stocks and keep a record of my inventories the most efficient way.

Looking back, I have quite a variety of working experiences. My first job was with Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) where I worked for only two weeks. I was 14 years old and it was during school vacation. I had to learn how to fry the chicken, the fries, made the burgers, whipped potatoes and many more. I am chuckling to myself now reminiscing at the old times. When I was with KFC, I was so unfriendly and socially awkward. I never talked to anybody and I never asked for clear instructions when I came across things I did not know. I supposed I was too shy back then. Well, who could have blamed me because I am naturally shy. My shyness portrayed me as stuck up to some and I swear I was not the favourite among the newbies. I could not care less because I did not feel comfortable there and I could not wait for my shift to end everytime I started work.

The second job I had is with the popular convenience store 7-11. I was 15 years old and it is during school vacation. I worked on weekends doing cashiering job. From there I knew how much sales a convenient store like 7-11 could make in a day. It is no wonder that in Islam, it is said having a business gives you 9 out of 10 ‘rezeki’. I have learnt a lot from working there especially how a staff can do something that is against the law. You can never trust anyone so easily be it in an organisation or outside your organisation. In business, you must hire someone who is smarter than you are but you must not trust anyone more than you trust yourself. If money is not stolen than stocks in the store are the alternatives. I guess this is the business risk of having a convenient store or any other shops.

My third, fourth and fifth jobs are mostly in the food and beverage industry. I have worked in cafes, restaurants and even discos. There are too many to tell. Most of them are all part time employment. I supposed that is where I got my knowledge and skills to run my own food and drink stalls when I was living in Subang jaya. Experience really is the teacher of fools. Nevertheless, I still think that experience does not suffice without common and business sense and most importantly, passion. When you have the skills and expertise, you mix them with your passion and you can make magic. Of course, not all business ventures will be successful. My next few official working experiences come from the customer service and sales. A role in the customer service department tells me the importance of satisfying a customer despite how much they spend for the company. Every customer can be so valuable to a company.

I never really stick to one job for long. I cannot say that I job hop but I changed job quite frequently. The longest job I have had was with a Japanese company as a typographic designer. I self taught myself to use the software. The salary was lucrative and I got plenty of bonuses. My boss liked me very much. I supposed the Japanese favours an employee who put punctuality and discipline first. This is also the last job I had in Singapore before I moved to Subang Jaya. All those job experiences; they taught me things I never could have learnt in college or universities. They taught me about life. It is odd after all those jobs, I still envision myself having my own company being my own boss. I said I wanted to be a boss when I was five. I supposed I knew what I wanted to be since I was five and nothing will ever change that.

I am on my way now Diary to pursue and chase down that passion like it is the last bus of the night. I am going to do it with or without love.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

My New TV and Eidiladha in Tangkak

Dear Diary,

I bought a new television a month ago and my room has not been quiet ever since. I now have more entertainment and things to do in my room. The last time when my old television was broken, I only had my laptop and iPad as a friend. It sure feels good to have a television back in the room. It adds more spice and flavour. But then again, I have been going to bed late and I often dozed off while the television is on. I guess it is true what the experts say about bedrooms; avoid having a television in bedrooms as it can cause one to turn in late and this will eventually makes one lacking in sleep. I would like to heed that advice however I never want to take my bedroom as literally a bedroom. My bedroom is also my sanctuary at home; a place where I escape from family dramas if there is ever any.

I could put off the idea of buying the new television but I have to admit that I am a little financially sound than before and so I thought I would indulge. I have set aside some money to save for the business and soon I know I will have enough to start it. I had come up with a brilliant idea on how to boost my savings. I am not sure how it will work but it will definitely speed up the waiting period. I have been looking out for any stalls up for rent in the newspaper religiously. I am excited as I know my dreams will come true eventually however, I am a little nervous about it all. I am afraid of failing again. I cannot help but to feel that way.

I suppose I have failed many times to the extent I think failures have become my flesh and blood. As much as I am happy and all pumped up to start the business, I am still remembering my past failures. I have asked myself will it work this time or will it just be the same like the old times. I do not know but deep down inside my heart, I hope and wish that it would be a success because if I fail again this time, I am not sure if I am able to move on from there. I read somewhere that failure is an event, never a person and there is no failure except in no longer trying but I know those are all motivational talk to brainwash you. I am ready for it but I am afraid of the reality. Am I contradicting myself now? I hope not but I promise you, I will make it work.

Mother and I have talked a bit in Tangkak during Eidiladha but it just stopped there. I did not know what happened but I thought all was good when we were there. We did not really have long conversations but we did talk. There were many relatives there, the house was crowded with people, and we are the host of the event and the property owner. Perhaps communicating with each other was necessary there. My aunties cooked therefore, the food and drinks need to be served. In this kind of family thing, the host plays the most important role.

There were hiccups here and there but everything was great. I got a little irritated and dissapointed with some of the relatives. I guess in events like this we get to see people’s real colour and character. Who is the laziest, penny-pinching, generous, annoying or the hardworking person? It somewhat makes me agree that our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted. Some of them contributed in kind, some contributed monetarily while some simply could not be bothered.

Since the completion of the house in Tangkak, we have been hosting this ‘kurban’ event yearly. It has become a family tradition that almost everybody look forward to attend. I suppose people look forward for the togetherness this event can bring instead of the ‘kurban’ alone. It has become compulsory to buy fireworks and firecrackers when we are there. We spend thousands of Ringgit for them. We buy them discreetly of course. It is amazing how we managed to get these banned items there.

It is fun, colourful and joyful to see how everybody is so happy there. The fireworks we had are a little similar to Singapore’s national day celebration only that they are smaller and shorter in the sky. It was enough to bring smiles and laughter to everyone’s faces and enough to make my mother and I talk. Well, even though it stopped in Tangkak, I still feel blessed about it. I know I have done nothing to make her proud but I hope when the business starts, it will uplift her opinions of me. What she thinks of me matters as an ounce of blood is worth more than a pound of friendship.