Happy Birthday To Me...

Dear diary,

I spent my birthday today with my parents driving them to my mum’s hometown. It was tiring because I just climbed mount berembun and siku a day prior to my birthday and then I had to use every bit of my energy to focus driving. It was about 2.5 hours journey and I really felt tired. We left on Friday evening to cameron for mount berembun and siku and came back to subang on Sunday evening. I took the coach to singapore on Monday afternoon, arrived singapore at 10 at night and I drove to muar the next day at 7 in the morning. My eldest brother couldn’t drive my parents and so I had to fill up the vacant position. I really don’t mind driving them because I know I haven’t done much for them since I got my license.

Ever since I got it, I have been driving in malaysia most of the times. I hardly drive in singapore and therefore, if my parents asked for my help, I would gladly oblige. It’s just something that I think I could do for them for now. I do not have the luxuries of showering them with cash and wealth looking at my status as a student. Being able to contribute that much, I hope is sufficient to put smiles on their faces. You know diary, I feel bad for my brother come to think of it. You know that there are only the two of us now and since I am living in malaysia, he is the only one left to take care of my parents. It’s not like I wanted to pass the responsibility wholly to my brother but believe me diary, if I have the means I would bring my parents along with me but you know I can’t. I am having some problems getting by over here and how am I suppose to support my parents. At times, I wish I didn’t make the decision to move over to malaysia because I knew if I continued living in singapore, I will be in my comfort zone with money to spend and supporting my parents wouldn’t be a problem.

I really do feel sorry for my parents having to support me when I should be the one supporting them. I feel useless sometimes you know. Damn…I hate this feeling. It’s just that things are a little rocky for us now and you know how easily affected I am with my surroundings. I am sensitive and I wish I had not been sensitive. Do you know what I really want to do right now diary? All I want to do is to go back to work and make a living so that I could be the source of income to my parents. I want to be cash rich and have money to spend for my parents. I want them to stop working and enjoy life while they could, I want to send them for holidays and I want to give them a sense of assurance that I’ll be there for the family in times of needs. I want them to know that they can depend on me because I am their pillar of strengths. If only I could achieve what I dream of for them in a short time. Those are my birthday wish for now and I hope to achieve it soon…InsyaAllah.Happy Birthday to me...