Second Time and More To Come

Dear Diary,

Have I told you that I met Nur Kasih for the second time? My hike to Swettenham was with 14 other participants. Nad and Sarah was with me and we carpooled. Nur Kasih offered to make sandwiches for me and I accepted her offer. She made egg mayonnaise and sardine sandwiches for the three of us. They were delicious and honestly I like them very much.

I met her in the afternoon on Friday. I fetched her from her office and we went for some snacks at a coffee shop nearby. The good thing about her work is, she has work there for the longest time and she is free to come out and meet me easily. She has this flexibility in her workplace that will benefit our relationship. This is a good thing because I can only meet her during weekdays. I came to her office and waited by the roadside. She came bringing along with her this motherly aura she has since she got married and have children.

You see, the thing about married woman is she is sexy without realising it. That motherly care she shows to you is a symbol of deep love of a woman who has carried foetuses in her womb for nine months and nine days without complain. She has given birth to three beautiful children. She showers them with her love, care and concern and now she has me to do the same. Have you ever felt so much love before? I have never felt so much love until I am back with her. This feeling of care she shows me makes me realise how true her love to me is. I might be careless sometimes because I have been single for so long and I overlooked the small matters but I hope she knows that all I have for her are love and happiness. I was so fond of counting my troubles, but I did not count my joys. If I counted them up as I ought to, I would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. She is my joy nowadays.

I spent about 5 hours with her. I sent her back to her office and waited for her again as she packed up to leave office to go home. She did not drive that day as her car broke down. I sent her home that day. I felt good being able to do that for her. We have come a long way, both of us. We fell in love the first time when we were kids, we had little money but we had so much love for each other. I did not even have a driving license back then while she did not even have a car. I remember those times I spent with her. She was very child-like, manja. And it was my honour to pamper her however I can.

She directed me to her house. The drive was not smooth as she kept giving me the directions at the last minute. I was not angry. I was enjoying the rough and bumpy ride. We were laughing in the car. I supposed both of us had such a lovely time. We have had histories and we both have chemistry. Occasionally she took my hand and held it tight and I would do the same. It is a lucky thing I can drive single handed. I am skilful, I know. Upon reaching her house, we sat in the car for while. She left her house keys in her car and the car is at the workshop. She had to wait for her husband to arrive home. We chatted, we laughed and we were playful to each other. I remember we were like kids. I was happy and she was too and I am glad. I suppose she needs to laugh more, we all do.

When her husband arrives, I sent her to her block. We bid farewell and off I went to USJ to fetch Sarah and Nad. The ride to USJ was bad as Waze failed me and I had to find the way there myself. But it was nothing, I was happy after meeting the love of my life. People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because I am not on my road doesn’t mean I have gotten lost.   

PS: Kau dan aku...Jadi kita satu, Faj sayang Ein 

First For Both

Dear Diary,

I hiked for two weekends in a row and I feel like my body is crying for some rest time. I feel that my stamina and pace are improving and my endurance and speed are consistent as before. I need to strengthen my core muscles. I need to focus more on lower body strengths. Hiking is all about the strength of your lower body. You will use 90% of your legs to move and occasionally your upper body strength to pull you up on steep terrain which requires you to grab roots.

I have not done my workouts since I got back from hiking. The mountains caused my feet to swell and my muscles to tighten. I feel that my skin is stretching at its maximum whenever I pray. We need to be in different positions when we pray and most of the time, the movements depend on our legs especially during sujud and rukuk. It was such a misery for me. It hurts so badly that I need to speed up my time praying. The pain is bearable but only for the first few seconds, after that it becomes unbearable.

I looked up the internet and google what this is all about. It is normal and I picked up some tips to overcome it. I did stretching repetitively and before I went for my next hike, the swell seemed to subside although not completely. I enjoyed my hike both times. I was tired but I kept on going. I paused occasionally but I did not stop. Swettenham was easier than the first mountain I went the week before. It was way much easier although it was higher.

I was the first woman in the group to reach the summit for the first mountain I went and I was the first in the group to reach the summit of the second mountain. I am proud of myself but of course, these are not something to boast about because there are always others who are faster and quicker than I am. Anyway being the first to reach the summit was not and never my intention but I always strive to be in the first group of participants to make it. It is a personal accomplishment that I myself can understand and feel. I share it with Nur Kasih and she is proud of me. That is enough for me. Making her proud of me is all that matters because she matters to me. I love her with all my heart and what she thinks of me matters most of the time.

I spent three weeks in Tangkak after my hikes. My legs were so tight that I was in pain when I prayed. I knew I needed to loosen up the muscle by stretching. I am doing it regularly or at least I try to. Stretching is important but most people skip this after every workout. If only people know what it does to our body I am pretty sure people will take it seriously.

I am controlling my diet nowadays. I watch what I eat. I try to eat more fruits and vegetables. I practice this daily and include a big portion of fruits and salads in my menu. It is easier to do this when I am alone because I prepare my own meals. When I am with my family, mum is the one who cooks and it is hard like that. I eat what she cooks and serves and I cannot really demand her to follow my preferred diet. I have to give in somehow. I usually buy fruits and if she does not have any vegetable in the menu I will replace it with the fruits I bought.

I got to go Diary. Talk to you later. 

PS: Faj sayang Ein...

I Met My Nur Kasih

Dear Diary,

I have met my Nur Kasih for the first time in seven years. She is still the same as the last time I saw her. I picked her up at Peugeot Service Centre in Seremban. It was such an impromptu meet up. She had to send her car for service and the nearest to her home is the one in Seremban. She asked if I wanted to meet her there. I grabbed that opportunity without hesitating. I could sense that she was hesitant a bit. Perhaps she was afraid I might get turned off with her looks.  She always said she has put on some weight and all of that stuff you know. I gave her my words that how I feel towards her will not change no matter how she looks like now.

I ended up driving one and a half hour to Seremban from where I was just to meet the love of my life, my Nur Kasih. She felt so bad for making me drive that far. I supposed she knows how much she means to me when I am willing to drive that far and that long simply to meet her. There was this saying, treasure those who would drive for hours just to meet you. I am doing it for her and I swear I had no regrets.

I wazed myself to her car’s service center and I picked her up. She got into my car and sat next to me without looking at me. I knew she was shy and I was shy too. She greeted me with “Assalamualaikum”, offered to shake my hand and when I gave her my hand she took it and kiss it. She reminded me of the times we were together 15 years ago. That was what she did every time we met. It made me think of our past and I wish, I wish my dream to grow old with her would come true. Being with her made me realized that it does not matter who made me cry, what matters most is who makes me laugh after that. She makes me laugh, she brings back joy and happiness to my life and that is why I love her. There are days when you need someone who just wants to be your sunshine and not the air you breathe, right Diary? I am grateful to her who makes me happy. She is the charming gardener who makes my soul blossom.

I continued driving for a few meters and I stopped by the side of the road. I looked at her and I felt that love is in the air. I took her hand and hold it. I held her hand tightly. My heart feels the excitement the moment I held her hand and I knew that I was not wrong in believing that she is my Nur Kasih. Without a single thought, two hands collide and the world finally makes sense again. I pray silently in my heart for Allah to grant this woman good health and wealth so that I would have a thousand more years to spend time with her and having her as the woman I am so much in love with because a partner is someone who makes you more than you are, simply by being by your side. I felt it shelter to speak to her. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down, I supposed she is that someone who would take the bus with me and that is why I love her.

PS: Terima kasih. Faj sayang Ein sekali….