Parts and Parcels of Me

Dear Diary,

I have gotten my last item which I bought online. It is for my camera and it is a great disappointment. It does not fit and I think I am going to sell it away. I have listed a few items for sale on Carousell and this will be my latest item. I am contemplating to sell my Samsung camera together with the lens. I am not sure if people would buy. Samsung has stopped producing cameras I supposed. I am kind of feeling regret buying Samsung, the picture quality is not that great. It is no wonder professional photographers opt out Samsung as their first choice, in fact, it is not even an option for them.

Samsung is never a popular brand for cameras anyway. I bought Samsung on impulse because at that time, I was using Samsung handphone and I wanted a camera which has Wifi capability. Samsung has it and I agreed to that brand to be uniformed with my mobile phone but I supposed it was a bad decision. I will put them up on sale soon and wait for any offers. I think I will start with $800 with the camera body and 4 lenses. I hope people will buy.

Now that I use Canon, I appreciate known brands and also naturally good quality pictures without any editing. I am happy with Canon now and I am looking at a longer telephoto lens. My current one is Tamron 18-200. I am looking for 16-300 or perhaps a 16-400. We will see. I am also thinking of signing up for photography classes. I want to learn how to take pictures manually. I want to be able to know how to use the full functions of my camera. I am going to wait until I come back from Indonesia and I will decide.

I still have not bought my return flight ticket. I am still waiting for price reduced. I have a rough idea of how much it would cost and I will keep a lookout for it. I have bought travel insurance for myself for the entire trip. It covers a lot and at least now I feel safe to travel. The stay at Mataram has been extended to 7^th of May so it looks like I will be going home to Singapore on the 7^th. I will be starting Grab after that. Having three sources of income is exciting to me. I call myself the super freelancer. I suppose earning this way makes me a happy woman. I am in control of my own schedule so this is fun, really.

Ever since I came back to Singapore to work. Working on my own is my ultimate dream and yes, I have achieved it. It will take some time to be stable but I am thankful I have enough.  I have lost 4kg in total. I work out regularly and I hike monthly. I hope I am fine for the hike for Rinjani, as well as Nad and Sarah and Lynn. Lynn told me she has been working out in the gym. Well, I pray we all will reach the summit no matter how long we will take. It is not easy. There are people who never make it to the top. I have heard that the last two hundred meters will be the most challenging and difficult.

I am going to Tangkak tomorrow with mom. I will be hiking on Sunday but will leave home on Saturday. I will pick up one of the teammates in Melaka and then to Bangi and to USJ to meet Nad to pass her things. Then I will be driving to the meeting point to meet the rest of the team. Nur Kasih and I are not meeting. We had to cancel the plan as she has an event on the 16^th. I feel disappointed, kind of sad but I am trying not to let it overcome my emotions. No matter how hard I tried, there was a little discrepancy. As usual, I said something, wrote something and I guess she became upset. I am letting things cool down for a while; the cooling off period people say. I am afraid if I talk too much or write too much, it may make things worse. We are quiet with each other today. I am not sure how long it will last. We all know that sticks and stones are hard on bones. If you speak with an angry heart, your words can sting like anything. But silence…silence really breaks the heart.

Oh well, never mind Diary. Little fights, arguments and misunderstanding are all parts and parcels of a relationship, aren’t they? What is most important, we don’t run away from them, we fix them. If we do not know how to fix them, we learn how to fix them. Being different does not make us incompatible. A lovers' quarrel is always about every quarrel you ever had. 

PS: Diam itu maknanya rindu

Bila Kita Berbeza

Kekasih, maafkan aku bila terlanjur
Tahulah engkau aku manusia
Yang sudah cuba berkali kali berubah
Tersungkur tertiarap terbaring ketika cuba
Selepas berbicara kemudian menyesal
Terasa biadap sukar dipahamkan
Kadang rasa sendirian lebih baik
Jadi tidak menghiris hati kesayangan
Tiada lagi hancurnya perasaan
Tidak terobek jiwa nurani
Cuai dengan bicara kerap sekali
Dilemparkan semua pada cinta
Amarah memarak syaitan bersorak
Berserah kalah aku dengan dia
Mungkin engkau jua begitu nanti
Sendirian aku mengorak langkah
Kerana kita insan berbeza sekali

Ps: Yang bezalah yang aku sayang

Hiking and Meeting Nur Kasih

Dear Diary,

My preparation for Mount Rinjani is almost done. I am still waiting for 1 item I bought online to be delivered.  Other than that, all is good. I have repacked my stuff and put the clothes into the compression bag. I have more space now. I have not put in my hiking shoes. I am just a bit wary to do it way too early to avoid any more mishaps. I need to bring back my shoe bag in Tangkak to Singapore. I will put my shoes in them and pack them on the last day before I leave Singapore. What happened to my Lowa boots left a deep impact on me that I got even more scared of packing shoes.

You know I already have this existing fear. There were a couple of times this had happened to me and now this. I am so careful now about shoes that it makes me feel that I am a paranoid or something. I am a bit disappointed that I cannot wear the boots to Rinjani but I consoled myself. At least it happened here, at home instead of there. I cannot imagine if it were to happen there. Oh dear, Allah loves and cares about me. I am thankful somehow, glad that I was left with ample time to come up with another plan for the shoes.

I am going hiking this weekend Diary. It will be with Core again and I am excited. I am excited about the hike and I am also excited because I will be meeting Nur Kasih a day after the hike. I will check in at my regular hotel to spend the night there and I will meet her on Monday.  I am not sure what time we will meet but I will meet her. I bought some biscuits and chocolates for her or maybe for her children. We have a chain of shops in Singapore that sell things at dirt cheap prices. Honestly, I did not need any of those snacks but I bought them anyway because they are cheap. It is probably impulse shopping, yeah I know. I bought some for Nad, Sarah and also Nur Kasih.

Oh Diary, I have yet to buy my return ticket to Singapore from Lombok. I have not decided yet if I want to extend my stay in Lombok. I will be alone then. I have to decide soon because coming into Indonesia needs me to show them my return ticket otherwise I will have to fly back to Singapore immediately. I have to buy it today. I think I am going to go online and buy it now, right now. I cannot waste any more time. I also need to arrange for Supir in Bali. Oh God, can you believe that I have not come up with itinerary yet for Bali? Geezz…what is happening to me? Got to do it today Diary. Oh, but I need to play with my camera. Oh no…

I will write again Diary. You take care.

PS: Rindu itu sayang dan cinta aku padamu teguh

Busy Comes From Rinjani

Dear Diary,

I haven’t been writing a lot to you lately. I apologize for my lack of attention towards you. I have not been busy but I just kept myself busy with online shopping and preparation to Rinjani. I still hike every month and I still workout daily but somehow I simply did not follow my daily timetable religiously. I did not write things I have done on that A4 piece of paper, which I usually do. Well, I guess I am a little off track nowadays but I am back on my feet again.

I am glad I still manage to do at least 50% of the things in my timetable. Things like prayers, workouts, and housework are what I would always do without miss. Other than that, I had skipped.  There are many things that I have to do apart from the daily timetable. I have to search for tickets for my return to Singapore from Lombok. I have to search for a transport service during my time in Bali. I have bought for my dad wheelchair service to and from Bali so it would be easier for my mom and dad. They will be alone coming back to Singapore and I am trying my best to make it as easy as it can be for both of them. I am praying to Allah to make it easy for them.

I will not be with them as I have to go to Lombok from Bali. I will be hiking Rinjani and I will meet Sarah and Nad there. My flight to Lombok is at 445pm and I will arrive Bali at 515pm. It was just a 30 minutes flight and I supposed it will be the shortest flight of my life and the cheapest too! It only cost me SGD26 for that flight. I hope I will not hold up the rest of the participants. Most of them arrive early on that day. I will be the only one from Bali.

I have started packing and there are only a few more items left to add on. Most of the items I bought online have arrived and there are only 2 more. I bought a new pair of hiking shoes as the soles of my Lowa boots came off. It was my mistake to put them in plastic bags and left them in my backpack for more than two weeks. You see, I started packing early and packing the boots like that was a big mistake. You never pack your boots in plastic bags and store them. When my gaiters arrived, I took the boots out to try them with my boots and I notice some small bits of rubber came off from my shoes and I knew it then my boots were gone.

I can always send them for repair to have the soles replaced. But Campers Corner would have to send the shoes to Germany and it will take more than 1 month. I am leaving on 23^rd of April. The shoes will not be ready in time for my trip. I am not sure if I still want to wear those boots for Mount Fuji. The trip will be in August and I guess if I send the shoes for re-sole after I come back from Rinjani, I will have plenty of time. I just don’t know if I want to wear my Lowa Boots.

The new shoes are fine. It is Hi-Tec and mid cut. It is lightweight and breathable. It is definitely not bulky like Lowa because it is not boots. Lowa boots are naturally more bulky, heavier and bigger. I bought them for any snow holidays. I need to know how to care for hiking boots. I am always concern of the soles. I have this fear the soles would come off while hiking. That is like my biggest concern. I will try this new pair of hiking shoes in Rinjani first and then I will decide if I want to bring Lowa for Fuji. If I do, I will send it to re-sole and find a proper shoe bags that fit.

Oh yes, I have sent my camera for repair. Thank god it is fine now and I can use a new filter for it. It cost me $90. And the repairman cleaned my camera as well. I am happy with their service and I will be familiarising myself with it again. I want to enroll myself in photography classes soon before my trip to Japan.  

I got to go Diary. Talk to you soon.  

Tua Bersamamu

Jika engkau tahu isi hati aku
Engkau pasti percaya aku cinta
Amarah aku hanyalah seketika
Sedang aku berperang dengan rasa
Jangan putus asa dengan kita
Mari majukan cinta bersama sama
Kerana aku mahu tua bersamamu
Mengusap rambut berwarna kelabu
Memimpin tangan yang mengigil
Mengesat lembut wajah kerepot
Berjalan membongkok seangkatan
Bergurau senda mengusik menyakat
Kau dan aku ketawa sakan bahagia

Ps: Untuk engkau percaya bahawa aku cinta