Dear diary,
Since I have moved to a new place with infinity and her entourage, I have come to realise why is it that people say it is not easy to live with the in-laws. Having lived together for about four months, I finally bring myself to understand about the things that can make a marriage between two people collapse due to other people’s faults or should I say, insensitivity. Pardon me for starting up like that diary; it is just that I wanted to start up with a different style this time.
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You would have noticed how I usually start by greeting you first but I just decided to change this time. You are aware that I am living with infinity, her cousin and her little brother. There are four of us and we are supposed to share the expenses like utilities bills, groceries, rents and any other miscellaneous stuff like cooking gas. I have been sticking to this practice for the time I have been living with them and I am positively sure that I have not missed any bills or I am late in any other payments. You know how I am don’t you. Punctuality is my policy for most of the things in the world and I definitely try hard to be punctual for all my undertakings. One advantage that I have over everybody else in the house is that, I am not related to him or her by blood even though I could be, if the society would have taken my ‘marriage’ with infinity into consideration. Since I am not related to them in any constitutional civil sense, it is not my business to know about their wellbeing.
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However, since I am married to infinity discreetly, somehow, I just have to know about them and this includes their punctuality in sharing what we are supposed to share. From the moment, infinity asked me if it is okay for her to invite her little brother and cousin to come and stay with us, I felt a little uneasy. Somehow, I knew this would happen and yes, I was right. Having known and blending with them, I rather knew their habits and living pattern. I had reminded infinity of the implications and she seemed ok with it at that time. I usually pay my rent and bills to infinity and she will be the one to deposit the rent to the landlord and pay bills at the post office. I believe she would collect the rest of the money from the other tenants before paying to the authorities.
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My instinct told me that she has not done so with her brother for the time, we have stayed together but I tried to brush it away. I did not want to have any negative thoughts about my so-called in-laws. My instinct also tells me to give whatever necessary to infinity and lets her collect other payments from the other tenants herself. It is not as if I wanted her to do the hard work but logically, it is just natural for me to do that because the other tenants are her cousin and brother. I assume she would be more comfortable than I am to be asking them for money every end of the months. Wouldn’t you agree diary?
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Deep down inside me, I knew infinity is having problem making the other tenants pay up and I really cannot do anything about it. The thing is, I do not know what to say and how to do it anymore. Her cousin is not so bad in fulfilling her responsibility as a tenant of the house but she needs to be reminded and someone has to ask her to pay up without she voluntarily pays up. It is taxing to remind people of their responsibility monthly. I was thinking to myself, why these people could not be a little considerate and thoughtful. Why do they need someone to tell them of their responsibility when they jolly well know it themselves. What is the problem with all these people?
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I really wonder sometimes and I cannot stop wondering because these people really appalled me by their level of responsibility. I really do not care if we have to pay the rent individually to the landlord but we have to pay the rent as one household unit and that means money have to be collected and consolidated into one amount. In addition, of course if one or two do not pay up, or late in payment, someone from the same group of tenants has to advance his or her money in order to make it sufficient to pay to the landlord. We have dues to follow and we have deadlines to watch. It is fine if it happens once or twice with valid and acceptable reason but it can become annoying and sickening if it happens too many a times. It won’t be fair to us who pays promptly.
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I am sure any tom, dick or Harry would have agreed with me. It is not about not being generous or penny pinching, it is about etiquette, common sense and discipline. It is about being reasonable and thoughtful and most importantly being responsible.I am sure infinity does not need someone to give her a treat for a few games of bowling or a few songs at a cheap karaoke kiosk once in awhile. Paying rents and sharing responsibility is what she desires most out of them. The once in a bluemoon treats won’t help if she has to pay for something that other people ignore to pay.
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I never asked infinity if she has problems collecting money from them, but she said it just about tonight. I assumed she did not want to tell but I guessed it slipped out of her tongue out of frustration. Well, who could blame her if she lost her cool because of that? I would be the first person to forgive and understand her for doing so. Patience has its limits and so does tolerance. I pity infinity and I wish I could take her away from all these troubles but it was her wish to bring them into our home and I really have no say in it. Even if I do, I do not wish to say it because I know how hurtful my words can be once I have lost my cool. I think I can kill a person with my words and I do not wish to be a murderer with words as my weapons.
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Sometimes, I feel like standing up for her on her behalf but reality hit me in the face and I paused for a minute. Who am I to do that? I am only married to infinity on the grounds of mutual understanding between fellow gays. I do not have any legal rights on her wellbeing or wealth. Perhaps wealth has never crossed my mind but we are talking facts here and wealth is a topic that cannot be skipped or passed. I am a little disturbed and troubled by how people are treating infinity because it also hurts me to know that she is hurting. I feel so angry when I think of the things that she has to go through but there is nothing concrete that I can do except to get angry with circumstances. I guess this is how it is like to live with your in-laws, you are lucky if you get the thoughtful ones but you can blame it on your luck if you get the unfavourable ones.
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