Dear diary, I know I am missing someone very much but it is hard for me to say out her name. It is almost impossible for me to do so probably because I know I will never be able to tell or to say to her how much I have been missing her. We have chosen not to speak to each other quietly and we both know the reasons why. One of us is feeling angry or sad, or hurt by the other but we just didn?t want to admit our faults and our guilt. Ego had taken over our rationality and both of us let it rule our hearts and minds. I am missing her so much that every time I scroll down the list of friends in my mobile, I will stop and literally touch the screen which shows her name. How I miss receiving a sms from that name so fond to me. I wish she knew that I am longing for her but my hands are tied and my lips are sealed. There is no power that can compensate my craving for her attentions. It is unbelievable these feelings I have for her. It is undeniable. Why did we meet only to be separated? Why did we ever become friend only to be cold to each other? My heart is so fragile now diary. It?s becoming so soft like the brain of a baby inside the skull. You have to carry it gently and carefully, otherwise it will knock against the skull and will break eventually. I am trying hard to hold back the tears. Every time I think of her, my heart sinks a little and I can literally feel the pain and the sufferings. I knew it?s broken without even touching it. I have made friends with a few people but none of them can make me feel the way I feel for her. She is one in a million, like a rare gem. I wonder if she is going to remain as the wind that I have fallen in love with till the day I breathe my last breath or will she be that rare gem I have found that I can finally hold to touch and to feel. I do not know but I wish I knew. I stored all the messages I have from her in a folder in my mobile. I keep reading and reading every single message she sent me. It helps me a little to ease the pain and the craving to have her. I think my heart cannot take it anymore diary, it is about to explode anytime soon. It?s getting dangerous and I am afraid it might kill me eventually. I am sad and heartbroken over what had happened. One blow after another and she knew what I have gone through. I cannot have anymore loss. It is too much for me to handle and I can only cry in silence. I cannot deny it anymore, she will be the one whom I have loved and love still and I wish her many success, endless happiness and everlasting good health no matter come what may.
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