dear diary, i thought i have a lot to write but when i tried the words just wouldn't come out through my fingers. there are so many things on my mind and i wish i knew how to tell you. i am missing aramis and i cannot deny it. i wonder if she is feeling the same way too. i have been feeling down lately but i tried to ignore it thinking that it is just another unexciting day. the more i tried to ignore it the more i am feeling it so clearly in my heart. i just don't know how to begin and how to carry on. i am all by myself now. i feel relieved but at the same time i am sad and hurt. i think it is time to focus on my life with or without someone to love because i know love is all around me, i just don't know it. i made a promise to myself to open my eyes and feel all the love that i see...even if she's not there anymore.
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