a silent message that was never understood

Dear diary,

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I received a call from russia just now but I chose not to answer her call. I do not wish to have anything to do with her anymore. A few hours later she text me and said she has something that she needs to tell me. She said that she does not expect an immediate answer from me and told me to take my time but hopes that I will not ignore her message. The thing about russia that I noticed after I have known her is that she likes to complicate things and make simple things complex.She has text me a couple of times before and all I did after receiving her message was to ignore. If she has something to tell me this time, why couldn’t she just text me with the message instead of telling me she has something that she needs to tell me and expect me to call or text her back? It is such a waste of time. She likes to do things like that and if she expects me to be so curious with what she needed to tell me so badly, she can wait till the world ends.

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I am sure she could have guessed that I have been ignoring her message and if she really has something that I should know, she should have just told me in her message. I ain’t going to text or call her because whatever news she has for me, I am sure it is not my concern. I am not interested, I don’t want to know and I don’t give a damn and that’s final. Call me egotistical or whatever you want but I do not wish to even let her have an inkling of an idea that I still want her to think I treasure her as a friend let alone as an acquaintance.Please do not think that I am being too much but she has insulted my intelligence and I just do not want to be associated with her anymore.

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When I came to KL, she did not even bother to ask if I was doing ok or not. She did not even care if I needed her help let alone offer me if I needed any. I do not expect her to fetch me a pot of gold or to swim across a river infested with alligators but the least she could do as the very recent ex girlfriend was to ask how I was getting along in KL. She knew I was coming and she knew I had arrived but she didn’t make an effort to call or even text me to welcome me. Look diary, pettiness is not in my agenda but she was one out of the few friends I have in Malaysia that I hope I could count on. Yes, I was very dissappointed with her; I was turned off by her.

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Moreover, you know when she finally text me to meet, she asked if I could get to her place on my own and that was already close to midnight. She knew I was dependent on the public transport. Let’s just face it, how safe can it be for me to take a cab to her place alone at night in KL? She should have known better and I was really taken aback by her request. She did many things that turned me off and I have decided to stay away from her and erase her from my friends list. She’s not worth it diary and it is sad to know. She has attempted to make up but once bitten twice shy and I declined her wish every time. She called me and assumed that I was influenced by another of our friend and said that I might have got on the wrong side of her. She even advised me not to easily be influenced by people. I felt that my intelligence has been insulted and told her off.

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What I did was purely based on my own personal perceptions and how I derived to that perception was from what I have experienced. She should have done her own assessment on why I became so cold towards her before jumping to any unfound and bias conclusion.