I Became A Zombie

Dear Diary,

 

                     It has been a few weeks of active days for me. The company I worked for has lots of programmes and activities llined up for us. I participated in the Race The Dead event in Sentosa last two weekends and yes it was fun. I enjoyed it very much. It has been a long time since I have had so much fun. I was a zombie and I had to chase the runners and get the flags from them. Some of them put up a fight while some simply surrender willingly. I supposed they are too tired already. 

The runners started with two flags and have to run a 5km race and the zombies are stationed along the 5km track. The zombies will stop the runners from reaching the finishing line with both flags. Zombies will try their best to pull off the flags from the runners. I got a total of 54 flags. That is really not bad for a 36 year old woman zombie who has not been working out for ages now. I have been lazy for as long as I can remember. I have not been jogging and working out in the gym. Although I have free access to my company’s gym, I prefer to go straight home after work. 

I supposed this is the thing with humans. We do not appreciate what we have while we have it. It takes the loss of what we have to make us appreciate what we have. It is ironic but that is the reality. I came 3 hours earlier as we had to get our make up done. We were advised to wear something that we do not want to wear anymore. My make up artist was quiet. She asked me if she can dirty and tear my t-shirt. She tore my shirt, she messed my hair and my face. Everybody said I looked like a real zombie. I took a picture of myself and showed it to my mother. She said it looked real. Nothing fancy about my make up. I did not have my eye balls popped out or a part of my brain was visible but the make up artist did her best to make me look like a zombie. 

I sent my picture to Flying Babe and she seemed afraid of it. She said that she has this fear with zombies because zombies are not like ghosts. Humans can shield off ghost by praying and reciting versus of the Quran while zombies are just not going to be afraid of holy words. She makes sense but it is funny and cute of her. I did not chat long with her. It is always like that nowadays. If there is a time where I will chat with her, it will simply be a short one. Things are different now and I supposed we know it. Even if I want to take this friendship one step further, I would have to think of the distances and how soon and true I will make it back to Subang Jaya. These are facts and the truths. I cannot brush them away. I don’t want to live in fantasies anymore. 

Oh Diary, whatever it is, I am sure I am happy now. I am single but I am happy. I hate my job  but I have a job that can give me the chance to make enough for my family and I. I have friends that I can chat and hang out with and I have money now. I don’t have a lot of money but I have enough to make me feel contented. Looking back, after all those years, how far I have came; I can truly say it now I am happy. I have broken up with Hello Kitty but that did not make me a sad woman. Of course  there are times where I would miss her company but believe me Diary, that is all I ever miss. 

I guess love  does not exists for her. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again. I know how weak I can get with women. Regardless of my true feelings, I can declare steady with a woman so easily and dump her the next week or even day. I think I know my weaknesses now. It is woman, it has always been. I am impulsive with woman. I guess I am safe where I am now. As long as I tell myself I am happy the way I am now, I guess I will be fine. I do not want to be with a woman whom I do not love and feel all bad and pressured to love her back. My focus now is to achieve my goals and live happy with or without my other half.