Tired Monday

dear diary, my mood today is better than yesterday. i woke up and updated my homepage. i did a lot of changes to it. i added more colours and designs. otherwise my homepage will be so dark and colourless. at least, with the changes i have done, it looks lively now. i went for a show today with my best friend. we watched king arthur and in that movie arthur lost 3 of his knights whom have been together with him for 15 years before becoming knights. i felt his lost for his friends. it brought me back to the time i lost my brother. i still feel angry with myself. i tried to brush off the idea but i can't. i am sorry for my brother, if only i had done what i was supposed to do. if only i could shut my bloody mouth tight. i hate myself.