I Am Sensitive

I Am Sensitive

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

It Is Driving Me Up The Wall

Dear Diary,

Today is the fourth day of training and to be honest, I have really begun to get bored to the maximum. In my opinion, the training is so boring. I was trying to stay awake during the entire course of this training today. Last night was a bad night for me. Somehow, I got stomach discomfort and I had to vomit myself to make myself feel at eased. I felt like there was wind in my stomach and I really felt sick. It could not have been gastric because I have never been attacked with gastric. I would say that it was probably diarrhea since I passed motion and vomited at the same time. It must have been something that I ate last night. I know the seafood I had have something to do with it. This reminds me of the time I had food poisoining in Tangkak last year. It scared me and I never would want to experience it again.

Therefore, sleep was not good last night. I often woke up when my stomach gave me the signal to go to the loo. It was absolute pandemonium. I was sleep deprived and the training session today did not interest me at all. If I were given a chance, I would simply walk out and go home. I am worried how long I can last here. Honestly, I did my countdown since the first day of training. I got turned off with the physical working environment and I simply do not feel comfortable. Now, I am hoping that I would have the patience to stay as long as it takes. Perhaps, as the time goes by, I would be fine but really, it is hard to say.

The team leader trained us today. He was supposed to conduct the training but he was away for his national service thus his assistant conducted the training when he was away. He came back and the training somehow started all over again with a bit of a twist, his way of course. It is the usual training session with questions and answers and some role play. Oh Diary, how I hate role play so much. I got so bored with all these routines. If I could escape, I really would. One thing I notice about sales training is how the trainer would think that his method works for everybody. Role play is conducted and he would pin point the mistakes trainees would make and suggested this and that. I have gone through this boring rituals during the many training sessions I had with other companies. I hate it so much Diary. This whole thing is just so stupid.

I participated and I swore to myself that I never would want to go through this again. How I wish I would just have the money to start my own business. I am dying to get away from all these employment rituals. My trainer was not boring but I have noticed he can talk a lot. He cannot pronounce "r" and everytime there is a word that requires him to do so, the "r" in that word would be heard as an "l". Clearer becomes "clearler" and I just sit still in my chair looking at him blankly. You know Diary, growing up in Singapore I have noticed the Chinese who comes from Chinese speaking home are the ones who usually cannot pronounce "r" as how it is supposed to. It is common here and everybody knows that. I could not be bothered anyway, all I want is to get this over and done with. I am freaking fed up.

I do not want to do this anymore. Period.

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