Dear Diary,
How has it been for you Diary? I
wish you were in the pink of health. I have not been busy however; I have been
spending a lot of my time with my family and work. For the past one month, I
have not had one weekend to myself. I spent all weekends with my family. I had
a barbeque party organized by my cousins and I spent the following weekend in
Tangkak so as the next. Imagine this Diary, I work five days a week and weekend
is the only time I have to rest or to spend my time in the comfort of my home. Can
you believe me how I truly treasure my weekends now? It is simply natural for
me to feel that way towards my weekend. When else can I enjoy some time on my
own except on weekends?
I am going to Tangkak again this
weekend and it is going to be a long weekend for me. I have applied for unpaid
leave on Monday and I will only get back to work on Wednesday, as Tuesday is a
public holiday. It is sure good to have a long weekend like this however, I
always feel that weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a
distance but disappear when you get up close to them. I wish I could go
elsewhere other than Tangkak. I guess I have to wait before than can
happen. The barbeque party was enjoyable
even though it was a little boring. I supposed I do not have my favourite
cousin, niece and nephews anymore to hang. Have I told you they have gone to
Doha to live? It has been five months I think. Her husband was transferred to
Doha and he brought along his whole family. I miss my niece so much and really
wonder how she is getting along with the new environment there. We spent the
night there by the beach and it was quite enjoyable. I set out two tents for my
mother and myself. Dad and my brother did not spend the night there, as dad
would be uncomfortable for sure.
There were plenty of food during
the barbeque and that made it difficult to decide what to eat. I could say that
there was an abundant supply of food and it was overwhelming actually. I
brought egg sandwich and I had noticed that nobody really cared. I felt somewhat
disappointed. I spent my time with Hello Kitty during the barbeque. If it was
not for her, I would have felt bored and lonely. My only cousin that I am close
with was away so that left me with no one else to get comfortable. I have a few
cousin sisters that I can hang with but they are mostly a few years younger
than I am.
I am getting used to my new job.
The training is over and how thankful I am for that. Work is boring but at
least it gives me time to write to you, discreetly of course. Well, I am not
thinking of making this job permanent anyway. I have other plans that are
waiting to be finalized. By the way, don’t I always have other plans Diary? I
have learnt somewhere that life is always about planning. You must have a short-term
plan and a long-term plan. Well, I have not stopped planning but I have stopped
having too much hope on a plan I have created. The theory is simple, hope
springs eternal in humans’ hearts but you also do not want to be crushed by
your own hopes. Get what I mean?
Having worked here for almost a
month, I am beginning to miss my old bank job. I miss everything about it
especially the environment. I now realized that the grass is not always greener
on the other side of the fence. I knew that but I was simply being human trying
to maximize my potentials. I should have stayed longer in that bank so that I
would only have six more months to the first phase of my business plans. I left
too soon and now I have to start all over again. Hello Kitty has decided to be
a shareholder and she is working out something to get the funds. I am waiting.
I still have a little bit of patience and hopes in me and if she could come out
with the funds, I am on a roll. Looking back, I have a lot to thank her even if
she could not get the funds. It is her beliefs in me so as her believe in my
ambitions and dreams. We are doing this together and I know she is doing it for
her own or perhaps our future as well. You would not invest in something when
you could not have a taste of the profits would you? It is not finalized yet,
we are still waiting for the application to be successful. I am praying for the
application to go through and I think she is doing likewise.
I have my business proposal ready
and I spend my time in the office amending and fine-tuning it. That is all I do
in the office nowadays other than doing what I am supposed to do. Yes, I have
to admit that I am losing my focus in the office. I do not work as hard as I
did in this bank than in the previous bank. I have deviated myself from the
main purpose I got this job. Well, who could have blamed me? I was turned off
with this job right on the very first day of training. I have officially
declared that of all the job trainings I have had, this is by far the worst
trainings ever! There, I have said it. If only I could mention the bank’s
name…I gladly would. It sucks big time and it is no joke. Boredom is a sickness
the cure for which is work; pleasure is only a palliative.
You know Diary, have I told you
that the old bank I worked for has many persons that reminded me of the people
close to my heart. Rose, she reminded me of Pumpkin because of her looks,
height, body and laughter. Almost everything about her made me think of
Pumpkin. Fazleena the girl in the administration department reminded me of Dark
Chocolate. It is how she looks, how she wears her hair and her body figure
especially, all of them made me think a lot of Dark Chocolate. Then we have
Samantha who resembles Flying Babe. I got goose bumps whenever I saw her.
Therefore, really that office has so much comfort for me. I was very
comfortable there. I did not worry about not getting relaxed there. The
familiar characters in the office were sufficient to make me feel at ease. I do
not know them when I first joined the bank but having the feel of knowing them
because some things about them made me feel calm, safe and homely. Have you
felt like that before? Their presence soothes you and you do not have anything
to be bothered.
I am not feeling like that in
this new bank Diary and so I know I do not have to stay if I do not want
to.
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