The Brother Whose Priority Is His Hobbies

Dear diary,


I woke up at six today, took my shower and sent my brother to the bus terminal. He is going to Port Dickson for a triathlon race. In case I have not told you, my brother is an avid triathlete now. He has been running, swimming and cycling since two years ago. He has not got sick of it instead I have. Since his involvement in the sports he has been coming home late and spending most of his free time with that. He showed very little interest with what is going on at home. During the midst of moving to our new home, he simply did not care about packing the stuffs. I had to do it most of the time. At that time, I just came back from my four years stay in Kuala Lumpur and had not really decided what to do next. Time was definitely on my side and he took it for granted.


I kinda got upset with everything. He totally left almost everything to me. I had to find the movers, I had to find the buyers, I had to find the new home, I had to pack, I had to think of solutions to get cash for the upfront payment of the new home and I had to unpack once we have moved in. As if those are not enough, I had to organise the stuffs at the new home. Of course mom and dad helped me with some other matters but really Diary, they are old and I am the youngest among them. I am supposed to be the energetic one.


The carrying, loading and unpacking of the boxes were mostly done by me. I was totally exhausted and I honestly think that I have drained almost all of my energy including the reserved ones. I got sick for a week. I came down with fever, cough, flu and sore throat. All four in one and I got three days medical leave. I was angry but I kept the anger to myself. Unlike the old house, this new house solely belongs to my brother and I am living in the new house out of his goodwill. Otherwise, I really have nowhere to live. Now you know how desperate I am to start my own business so I can financially stabilised myself here. I must Diary because anything can happen in the future. I had it planned but I have not got the opportunity to execute it.


My brother is not a bad person. He is a brother with brain and compassion but he can be oblivious to his surroundings. I have seen the difference in him since his engagement in the sports; he prioritise his hobbies more and that is very upsetting. Mom often reminded him and voices out her dissatisfaction to me, but I chose to simply listen to her. I did not want to add fuel to the fire because I know, she would be more than willing to take to heart my bad attitude than my brother's. I had given up being vocal about things at home. I take a different approach nowadays. I prefer to remain silent and keep things to myself. Perhaps I simply have had enough of giving in or maybe I am just feeling like that without any basis because I know how sensitive I can be.


I still hope that I can achieve my dreams someday somehow. No matter how long it takes, I know I will if there is still hope in my heart or just a glimpse of hope. I do not know for sure when it will finally materialised but the hope that I have shall aid me through the days I have left to live.