Dear Diary,
My day has been fine except for a
shock I had while scanning the items. Remember Giraffe I told you about? She
works near my scanning station and she made an outburst just now which shocked
and puzzled everyone else especially Mouse deer and I. Giraffe was teaching a
new staff to scan and apparently, this Tortoise is slow in learning and he does
not pay attention during the on the job training. Giraffe is a naturally
impatient person (I thought I am impatient but wait until you meet Giraffe).
Tortoise is learning how to scan
for three days continuously and unwillingly, Giraffe is his trainer. After the
many mistakes and lack of interest Tortoise shows Giraffe, she could not handle
it anymore and yelled at Tortoise at the top of her lungs. I was stunned. I did
not turn around to look because I do not want to create any attention. I
continued with my scanning and gave Mouse deer an eye signal not to look. It
was unexpected. I told you how the people in the warehouse behave. They are so
much bolder and loud than the colleagues I had in the banks I worked. I
supposed I have so much adjusting to do.
After the team leader took over
the situation, I spoke a few words of empathy to Tortoise. He seemed to handle
it well. He seemed unaffected and I thought it was cool. It is probably because
he is a man I supposed. I started to imagine if I were in his shoes, what I
would do. I probably will stay quiet and merely apologies for the mistakes but
I will never respect Giraffe as a good trainer perhaps. I have been working
there for a full two weeks now and all I can say about her is she practices
favouritism.
She chooses people she wants to
be close. She practices double standard. She becomes nasty with people she does
not favour, to name a few; Mouse deer, Blurry and the latest 1 to the addition
is Tortoise. I see through her and I definitely do not want to get too
comfortable with her. She is friendly and nice to me but I know it is merely
because I portray myself as someone independent. I am quick to learn and I do
my job carefully trying to make as little or zero mistakes.
I always work together with Mouse
deer and she seems comfortable with me. I am the scanner and she is the packer.
I have never lost my patience with her neither has my temper tick while working
with her. Mouse deer’s personality may be as straight as a perfect ruler may
and she may come from a special education school but she has good work ethics
and that is something I respect about her. Just about today, I found out that
her grandfather passed away last night and yet she is present at work today.
When I asked why she did not take the day off, she told me it would be a waste,
as she would lose a day's salary, which resulted in less salary. I supposed she
has this typical Chinese attitude about work and money. I used to have that
kind of mentality when I was in the bank. One day of absence affects my total
volume of sales and I swear to God I had a full perfect attendance throughout
my contract.
When I had my business in Kuala
Lumpur, my attendance was perfect too for the first six months of running the
business. In one of the books, I read business owners should go to the field
and learn as much about their business as possible rather than leaving it to
the staffs to run it. Start the business from scratch and participate in
everything about the business at the early stage and as the business
progresses, keep participating.
Mouse deer has begun to open up
to me. She is chattier with me now and I think she has gotten comfortable with
me. We work well together even the team leader agrees and occasionally Giraffe
would come to our station and tried to intimidate her just for the fun of it. I
guess Giraffe merely wants to be playful but deep down inside I disrespect her
for that. She seems to be bullying and picking the weaker staffs and I do not
like it. Why can't she just leave them alone? Giraffe tries a couple of times
to ask me to join her for lunch but I politely decline.
The Manager has offered me a full
time position in the warehouse last week. I asked him for a week to think about
it. I appreciate it but I am not interested. It is the monetary rewards. The
full timers here work five days a week from eight to six in the afternoon. However,
they have to commit to overtime everyday of the week and that includes
Saturdays. They bring home two or three hundreds more than a thousand dollars net.
To compare that with what I earn in the banks, it is just a fraction. I like
the job because it is stress free. I can adapt to the atmosphere but I
certainly cannot settle with that kind of money.
I am in a tight spot. With the
news recently, I know I am certainly in need of a full time job but I need to
save for the stall. I have to do it myself and I have stopped myself from
hoping to get the loan approved. It is taxing and it has caused me a lot of disappointments
and perhaps some misunderstandings. I do not know how to explain to you. All
these while, I have been hoping and waiting. It is not easy, as I have to be
dependent on people. I cannot do it on my own so I feel helpless to a certain
extend. I do not have the papers under my name. It is on somebody else's name
and that makes it even more difficult for me to be aggressive in the loan
applications. I have decided to try to make it happen my way and that means I
have to wait again and longer this time.
I can always go back to the bank
but I know I cannot handle the stress. I am so, so worn out that I want to call
it quit. However, it is just my mind playing with my heart. I want to be by
myself for some time now. Take care Diary. *hugs*
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