How has it been going for you? I am okay here just figuring out how shall I get about carrying out my objectives. It is a matter of should I do it from Singapore or Malaysia. I am still undecided. I have to see how things work out in the near future. I went for the training last night and it was a great disappointment. I left home feeling very excited and motivated but only to be let down I still do not know if the look on my face played a big part or it was the situation during the training.
As usual, most of the people attended the training were Chinese except me. You know how chameleon I can get in a crowd. The trainer considered or rather thought of me as a Chinese and the training was conducted in Mandarin. I was lost for a moment until he asked me in Mandarin if I had understood what he had explained. I put up a blur look on purpose when I actually knew what he was saying so he could gave the training in English instead of Mandarin. However, some of the participants who were not English educated were reluctant to have the training in English and since they made up the majority and I the minority, I had to give in. so I sat in there for a full two hours listening to his talk in Mandarin. I am so used to this condition so I never really felt anything about it. Growing up in Singapore has taught me to be more tolerant but I cannot deny that I was greatly upset.
I was upset because they did not have a proper training timetable for English and Mandarin. If I had known that the training last night was going to be conducted in Mandarin, I would not have come. I did not want to put pressure on the trainer because I can see that he was trying to be fair. I sat and listened as if I understood. It was not that difficult to understand anyway. I speak little Mandarin and I hear lots of Mandarin since I was young, therefore Mandarin is not so alien to me.
The room was so cramp and we had to sit on stools. It occurred to me that they double up their store as a training room, which was inappropriate. The shop is small but the rent is so expensive. I supposed that is a common scenario in Singapore. Properties and cars are expensive here. I grasped some important information during the training even when it was held in Mandarin. I know what needs to be done now but I have to decide on where I really want to start. Is it here or there or there or here, you know that kind of stuffs Diary. There are so many factors I have to take into considerations. I supposed I know where to start but I am being skeptical of things unforeseen in the future. They can really stress me out sometimes. I was waiting for the training to be over just so I could head straight home and plan my strategies. I probably need to speak to Rolly Polly on some issues that were highlighted to me in the training.
As much as how I want this as badly as she does, I must also safeguard my interests. Let's be honest Diary. There is not a business anywhere that is without problems, they are bound to have problems before or after success. Business is complicated and imperfect. Every business everywhere is staffed with imperfect human beings and exists by providing a product or service to other imperfect human beings. Lots of experiences have taught me that things are good and easy when they are good and easy but when they are not, things can ugly and difficult. That is what I felt with Infinity about the business we once shared. Things were ugly after the break up, fingers pointing, bad mouthing, ill thoughts and they were all so demoralizing. With no more love left and no more respect given, the simplest task can be such a tall order to do. I hate that period in my life. It made me feel so broken and low. I do not want history to repeat. To take something from a person and keep it for oneself: that is robbery. To take something from one person and then turn it over to another in exchange for as much money as you can get: that is business.
Not that Rolly Polly and I have become a thing. No, it is not that Diary but I want the friendship we have to last and it is better to safeguard the interest of each one of us as the priority before we start on any mega project. We need each other to make the company thrive and I suppose we will have to work together for a long time and we have to make the environment we are working in as conducive as possible, come what may. In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later. She and I believe that.
After all these while, I realized that it does not matter how many times I have fail. It does not matter how many times I almost get it right. No one is going to know or care about my failures, and neither should I. All I have to do is learn from them and those around me because... All that matters in business is that I get it right once. Then everyone can tell me how lucky I am.
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