Work Has Taken Its Toll On Me...

Dear diary,

I have a blocked nose, my throat is sore and I am feeling feverish. Hello kitty is not with me so that leaves me all by myself to mend this weak body of mine. I went to buy some medications and I am religiously taking them. I smoke less nowadays and I am trying hard to save my voice.

Ever since the new job, I realized that my voice is precious in my line of work. I make about 400 to 500 calls daily. I sell banking products on the phone without even meeting the buyers. My voice plays a crucial part to determine how much I would be taking home to put food on the table. Work has taken its toll on me and I can see that it is unlikely that I will renew my contract with the bank. The working environment is conducive however I have to admit that it is not for the faith hearted. I think of my sales daily and there is nothing that I can do that will stop me from thinking of my sales. 

The only time I do not think of work is on Friday and Saturday where I would be busy chilling and filling my time with my own thing. It is mentally taxing to be like this. I am not sure if the fever is the end result of the stress I got from work. My throat hurts everytime I swallow. My heart beats with speed everytime I stepped my feet into the office. The pressure is enormous to achieve my daily sales target. 

My mind is worn out. I hope I am able to do good for the 6 months I am here because I have a plan after that. A plan, which is still uncertain. The job offer in Kuala Lumpur is finalized but I am not going to take it. There are so many loopholes that I foresee. Having a chance to go back to KL again is good but not at the expense of stability. I am doing quite ok here. I have come to terms with the fact that I have left KL for good. I have gotten used to it and I am just waiting for time to jumpstart something, which probably could change my live in the next five to ten years time. Oh Diary, how easy it is to talk like that. 

There are many things to say to you. My life is good so far and I thank Allah for the blessings. My sales have been consistent and I can say that I am the best in my batch. I have hit 1.3 million in total volume of sales on my first month and 1.2 million in total volume of sales on second month. I am in my third month and I am aiming for at least 1.1 million. I want to be consistent in my sales but it is not so easy Diary. I never planned to hit 1.3 million in my first month but I suppose things which you do not hope, happen more frequently than things which you do hope. It seems a struggle to achieve that success again. Perhaps I shall stop hoping for 1.3 million anymore and just do what I can but how can I when I have surpassed that mark. Furthermore, hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers. 

I have a new staff sitting next to me and he really irritates me a lot. He annoyed me so much that I do not even greet him in the morning. He probably thinks that I am unfriendly that does not smile at all. I have this serious reputation in the office. I do not go for lunch and I do not leave my desk unless I need to answer nature call. The people in my office think of me as someone who is hardworking and very committed in my work. What else can I do Diary? My life in Singapore has taught me to be single minded about my job. I do not chill after work and I hardly have any friends in Singapore. I have left many good friends in Malaysia and coming back to Singapore has made me very much alone. I am alone but I am not lonely. I guess I have passed the transition period already. 

Maybe it is true that people say time is the great healer and only time will tell. I supposed so.