Stopping My Expectations

Dear Diary,

Do you know what can expectations do to you? It can do plenty of things. Firstly, whenever you do something for others, do not expect anything in return. If you have feelings for another, do not expect the feelings are mutual. To safeguard yourself, stop having any expectations especially when it involves another human. Life is not easy you will one day appreciate my advice. In reality, expectation is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs man's torments. 

However, when you look at expectations from another point of view, it can make you thrive into somebody. I have often heard people say, always push yourself to your limits so you know where you stand. I somewhat agree with this when it comes to chasing your dreams. What are your dreams Diary?    

My dreams are aplenty. I want to be financially strong. I want to climb all the mountains I have not climbed before. I want to be able to take my parents on holidays. I want to drive a Toyota Fortuner and a Toyota Harrier. I want to be a professional full-time Foreign Exchange trader. I want to be a successful E-Commerce entrepreneur. I want to be able to live a carefree life and be cash rich from the things I do for a living; Forex and E-Commerce. I want to grow my Forex account to USD10,000. I want to have a life partner that shares my visions and missions. I want to grow old with her. I want her to be my source of inspirations and motivations. Those are the major things I want in my life.

I am still studying Forex. I have lost USD4000 in Forex which is equivalent to RM16,000. I am not giving up and I will not give up. I am just training myself to accept defeat like a real Forex trader. I still trade but I trade with a journal nowadays. I plan my trade and I enter the market only when there is a setup. I study 4 major pairs diligently and I enter the market on the pairs I have the most confidence. I watch my money management carefully. I am training myself to trade professionally because that is what I want to be. I am growing my account and I want to reach USD10K one day.

I am still in the midst of setting up my E-Commerce store. I have not launched it yet. I am building my store. I have bought the domain and came up with a name. I need capital to launch this store. Not much capital is needed. I need to set aside a budget for advertising. I am going to use Facebook marketing.

So you see Diary, I am keeping myself busy with all these. They do not take up much time and I will become so free after that. I am thinking of finding another thing to do. Perhaps I can try Uber or Grab. I don’t know Diary, we will see. I am still surviving by keeping my expectations on Forex and E-commerce high but my expectations on love as low as possible. I am not sure if there is still love left for me out there. It is just so difficult to get nowadays. At this age, I have become shy to ask and be bold in love. I am just a different person than before. I do not dare to pursue love anymore even though I feel it. I am afraid of rejections, yes, that is what keeps me from pursuing. I am simply treasuring whatever I have now. Where expectations would otherwise become hopelessness, it becomes faith.  

I will write to you again Diary.

Ps: I hope people are not expecting anything from me too as I have stop expecting anything from people.