I Am Wishing For Positivity

Dear Diary,

I think my laptop has finally gave way. I tried to switch it on just now but I couldn't. It froze on the same window and never got to my desktop. I did not hit it neither did I throw it on the floor like I always did whenever it goes haywire. I have started to accept the fact that it is dying and it is really time for me to replace it with a new one. I am not letting my anger take control of situation anymore. Kudos to me? Well, I am not mad at it anymore. I am just realising the truth and the truth about my laptop has just sunk in.

This morning at 10 I was woken up by the ringing of my second phone. I was still fast asleep then and I really thought that I was dreaming so I ignored the call. Then, I heard it again and this time I realised that my phone was ringing literally. I looked at the number and I knew it then it could be a potential client who called. I answered the call trying hard not to sound like I had just woken up and the voice on the other side requested to speak to me saying my name like how I printed on my flyers. I knew it then that this was really going to be a potential client.

It was a woman with a querky American accent and I just thought that she sounded nice. We spoke and I soon got to know that she wants to sell her house but wants to know how much cash proceeds she will be getting from the sale of her house if she sells it. She was very straightforward and I could tell that her intentions are genuine. I asked her a few crucial questions and I offered to pay her a visit so I could advise her and do a financial calculations for her to help her make the decision. Upon offering, she instantly agreed to welcome me and we made an appointment for this Wednesday evening at her place. I felt good about it.

I have to admit that I was pretty much ecstatic about it and I silently said my thanks to Him. I supposed he has listened to my prayers and again he has given me the message that the farming I did will eventually lead to positive results if I just stubbornly and patiently persevered. I cannot be too confident now that this lady will sell and give me the exclusivity but at least I can have some kind of hope that she will. All I have to do now is to pray even harder that the appointment will be successful.

I have to go to the office tomorrow and learn how to do the financial calculations in details from my Manager and I will practise it at home until I am very clear about the formulas. I will keep on practising until I get it right and understand. I will also have to get my netbook repaired because I surely need my netbook then. I need to check on her mortgage balances online and also check on the ownership status. 

I am very pumped up now Diary. I am just glad you know. Perhaps it is too soon for me to feel like this since this is the very first stage of turning prospect into my client but I cannot help it. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah!!! I shared this news with my friend without a face the minute I hung up the phone. I just wanted to share this with her you know and my mum of course.

I am sending my netbook to the service centre tomorrow. I hope they are able to fix it by Wednesday. I really need it by then. I got to do lots of preparations before my visit and hope that I will not get too nervous to even illustrate even the simplest things to her. I have known to have cold feet when it comes to situation like this. My palms get all sweaty and I would stammer making a fool of myself. My heart will beat like a million times in a second and if I am not careful enough, I might just froze right there and then looking like a robot with dead batteries, hopeless and helpless.

I am admitting to you Diary that in the midst of the excitement, there is a little place in my heart missing her and how her presence in my life although far and away kisses all the troubles away. I wish I could have just told her how much I have been missing her. I wish I would have the strength to tell her that within her I lose myself, without her I find myself wanting to be lost again and the days of her absence, sad and dreary, clothed in sorrow's dark array, I am weary; she I love is far away.

No one would understand what my heart is trying to say. It is so complex that I find it hard to understand myself. The footprints she has left are still there that even the tide coming in cannot wash them away. I wish she had known about this but I am too shy to tell what my heart desires. It is not ego but it is an ultimate respect for someone that I dearly regards. The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.

The most and the best motivational video on the planet

To Hope For Good...

Dear Diary,

I have a group meeting tonight at the office at 7 in the evening so it looks like I will be having some sandwich and a packet of Milo to break my fast tonight. How are you Diary? It seems ages since I asked the last time. I am fine Alhamdulillah. In this month of Ramadan, I supposed I just have to be contented with how I feel and what I have. I know I am missing a few things in my life but what can I say and do except to wait patiently with all the hopes that I have left in myself.

I have started my farming again. Farming in this month of Ramadan has taught me that it is not easy to be doing physical work when you fast. I sweat and I became thirsty yesterday but I knew it was nothing compared to the Muslim warriors who fought in wars during Ramadan so many many centuries ago to uphold Islam. Although I can never compare my effort with them, but I hope to at least carry their spirits with me. I did three blocks Diary and I spent most of my times wiping the sweat away from my forehead. I have hope that all the farmings I have done will be fruitful someday. I don't know when but I know the day will come.

I did it alone without the little teddy bear Flying Babe gave me. I never take it to wherever I go anymore since that time I got her message. Sometimes I do take it out and hold it in my hands just to feel it you know. For all the times, I have grown so accustomed to having it with me and it feels a little awkward now without it around. I have to admit that I feel it is alive sometimes, like my little child. I never dropped it knowing that it might get hurt and I never ignored it sensing that it will only upset it. It is crazy but that little teddy bear brought out a child in me. It also brought out the other side of me that my friends have never seen before; being vulnerable to circumstances concerning love.

I got another message from Flying Babe again a few days ago. She asked me to write to her if I still have her in my heart even as a friend. She also said that if she has to wait a million years for me to accept her back as a friend, she would. She said she did not want to let me go just like that. I have become so quiet towards her since that day. I have lost for words to say and speak to her. Everything about me, I have thought that she does not deserve to know anymore. I have stopped writing to her and I will not write to her again. I am saving myself Diary. It is most important for me to know when to walk away.

Yes, I must always hope but not like this. In reality, hope is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs man's torments but you know that when the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." All I do to myself is get confuse even more with all the beliefs. Well, one thing for sure love is so abstract that you can never take its definition as it is. I hope for good wealth and health but I have stop hoping for love or romance in my life.  
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I have been praying to Allah. I asked him to strengthen my faith, endurance and patience. I can be weak sometimes Diary. I need to have patience as strong as a diamond and endurance as big as the Atlantic ocean. Things have not been smooth lately but what can I expect? If things would have been easy for everybody, life would be so boring without challenges and everybody would be successful without having to sweat.

Mum spoke to me last night and I will always remember what she said. I guess she wants me to be successful just as much as how I want it too. She has seen me struggling for all the years and times I was out of her womb until today. That's what a mother does, she observes and she prays for me. I hope I will not disappoint her anymore because I want to believe no matter what they say, hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if I just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.

نشيد "رمضان" الرائع لمشاري العرادة Great "Ramadan" Nasheed

Salam Ramadan...

Dear Diary,

It is that month again in the Islamic calendar where all Muslims regardless where they are fast at the beginning of dawn everyday in this month we call Ramadan. I am here in Singapore and I have once again felt how it is like to fast in the presence of my family. It is good as I know my 'buka' and 'sahur' will be more wholesome and less lonely like the previous Ramadan.

2008...that is the year I broke up with Infinity and how I remembered when 'azan' was heard to say that 'Maghrib' had came, I was alone almost every night and I helped myself to the food I bought for 'buka'. I supposed 2008 is the most sad and lonely Ramadan for me. At times I wondered how did I ever get through it all. It was quite torturous and miserable having to break my fast all alone or with faces I was very unfamiliar with. Food became tasteless naturally and 'Syawal' did not seem to excite me anymore like how it used to when I was little.

I recalled how I fed myself with a spoonful of rice with tears streaming down my cheek because I missed her company so much that I felt like a lost puppy. It was very painful and I remembered how I hoped that someone would just ring me up and hang with me to break the fast together. On good days, I was with my friends but even with company, I did not feel happy. My heart was yearning for something that I knew I couldn't have anymore. It was probably the broken heart syndrome that made me feel that way. I supposed back then, even if I had the company of the most gorgeous and popular female artist, still I would feel the same. I guess it is the familiarity and the level of comfort that I had for her that it seemed no one else could ever replaced.

I overcame that period of my life on my own. Things are so much better now. I am broke but I am happy, well at least my heart is in one piece. I have no friends now but I do not feel that I am alone. I have grown stronger from all the mishaps, heartbreaks and adversities I faced in 2008. I am confident that if I were to make a comeback to Subang Jaya, I would have no problem breaking my fast all by myself, in fact I might even enjoy it. I have begun to enjoy being single and alone. I am slowly returning to what I was before; emotionally independent. It is sure fulfilling to be feeling this way, without having to be dependent on people to make me happy. I began to realise that if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness. Once and for all, I can say to myself that I can be happy and feel less lonely even when I am single. There is no more love in my life but if I can manage to smile about it, then I believe I am blessed.

Diary, I miss the times when I would stroll down the bazaar Ramadan in SS18 and never fail to buy myself the samosa from my favourite stall. I miss the times when I would cook for my friends and we broke our fast together with simple but decent meals. I miss the times when I was never short of friends to hang with. Ultimately, I miss being in Subang Jaya where I always feel at liberty.

I cannot deny that occasionally I do miss the moments when I had someone special in my life where I can share my stories with her. Or perhaps, when I had a list of friends that I can call to hang with. Times have changed on my side, it is the distance and there is nothing I can do about it. I supposed the happy hours of my life is over and it is time now to focus on serious things and be more responsible. I cannot lead a carefree life anymore because being carefree makes me less productive, hide my true talents and hinders me from being more that what I can be.

This Ramadan, I am going to make good use of it. I hope I can catch the 'LailatulQadar' and pray to Allah like I have never before. I want to pray for good health, good wealth and for an everlasting happiness that would last for as long as I live. I want to pray for my parents, my family and the good friends I have in my life. Prayer is like a weapon, and a weapon is only as good as the person who is using it; it is not merely the matter of how sharp it is. If the weapon is perfect and free of faults and the arm of the person using it is strong, and there is nothing stopping him, then he can lay waste the enemy.  

I am back to being the one woman crusader that I have always thought myself to be. I have learnt to be aware of every hour and how it passes and only spend it in the best possible way; not to neglect myself, but keep accustomed to the noblest and best of actions, and send to my grave that which will please me when I arrive to it.

Salam Ramadan to you Diary.

Aku Mahu Kerja, Aku Benci Cinta

Hello Diary,

Izinkan aku menulis di dalam bahasa Melayu kepadamu pada malam ini sekali lagi. Aku seperti rindu mahu menulis lagi dan aku harap kali ini aku boleh menyampaikan apa hasrat di hatiku dengan lebih mudah dan senang untuk difahami. Sudah berapa lama engkau menunggu tulisan Melayu aku? Aku sedang kebingungngan kerana aku tidak pasti sama ada aku boleh atau tidak. Maksud aku, sudah tentu aku boleh tetapi aku tidak tahu adakah ia akan lebih bagus dari tulisan yang sebelumnya.

Tidak banyak yang berlaku hari ini. Ia seperti semalam di mana aku tidak berhasil membuat sebarang appointment dengan client-client aku. Aku bangun pada pukul 730 pagi dan aku terus keluar dari bilik tidurku. Seperti biasa Hang Jebat kucing gemuk aku sudah menunggu di luar pintu dan menyahut kepadaku apabila dia mendongak melihat wajahku yang mungkin penuh dengan air liur basi. Wahai Diary, aku sangat sayang sekali dengan kucing-kucingku walaupun aku agak kasar dengan mereka tetapi aku sebenarnya sayang pada mereka. Tidak pernah aku memukul atau memarahi mereka kerana mungkin aku dilahirkan dengan penuh rasa kasih sayang dan aku sudah dididik dari kecil untuk menyayangi binatang. 

Teringin juga aku menyayangi seorang wanita seperti mana aku menyayangi kucing kucingku. Itulah dia mungkin anugerah Tuhan kepada aku. Aku lebih bersifat penyabar dan penyayang kepada binatang daripada manusia. Tetapi aku tahu bukan aku seorang sahaja yang begitu. Ramai lagi animal activist di dunia ini yang mempunyai kasih sayang sebesar dunia terhadap binatang. Aku amat kagum dengan pencinta binatang kerana tanpa mereka, siapalah yang boleh menjaga hak asasi binatang? Sememangnya binatang tidak dapat dan tidak boleh mempertahankan diri mereka daripada kekejaman manusia yang selalunya mementingkan diri sendiri. 

Wahai Diary teman sejati aku...apa khabar engkau disana? Aku tidak begitu gembira hari ini sebab aku tahu aku sudah kehilangan 2 clients. Aku tahu di mana silapnya tapi aku tidak mahu bercakap lagi tentang itu sebab aku akan berasa makin sedih dan mungkin jugak ia akan membuat aku rasa kecewa dan tidak berguna. Aku telah mencuba tapi mungkin percubaan aku tidak cukup atau mungkin memang bukan rezeki aku. Apa apa pun yang kita buat, kita harus beringat bahawa rezeki semuanya datang dari Tuhan. Yang penting aku tahu aku sudah berusaha dan mencuba. Cukup atau tidak usaha aku, biar Tuhan sahaja yang mengadili asalkan aku jangan menipu diri sendiri. 

Jikalau aku bercakap mengenai pekerjaan aku, aku akan berasa sedikit murung atau kecewa. Engkau dan aku tahu kenapa sebabnya. Ramai yang menyangka bahawa menjadi agent rumah adalah pekerjaan yang mudah sekali. Tetapi itu tidak benar. Petang tadi seorang kawan aku dari Malaysia mengirim sms kepadaku mengatakan kawannya yang baru sahaja menceburi bidang property selama 2 minggu sudah mempunyai 3 transactions. Kononnya hebat sekali kawannya itu. Aku diam pada mulanya tetapi seperti biasa aku tidak senang hati sebab memang pantang aku berdiam apabila aku rasa perlu berdebat. 

Setibanya di rumah, aku mengirim sms kepadanya. Bukan niat aku hendak berdebat tetapi aku geram dengannya kerana mana boleh dia bandingkan performance aku dengan kawannya. The real estate industry in Malaysia and Singapore are way so much different. Banyak sangat perbezaannya sehingga aku malas untuk menulis mengenainya. Di Singapura, banyak red tapes terutama sekali HDB flats. Sudah diketahui ramai bahawa setiap clients yang ingin membeli rumah HDB, sekurang kurangnya agent akan membawa mereka viewing sebanyak 10 hingga 15 kali baru lah clients itu beli. Dan tentang sewa pula, di Singapura lebih banyak demands daripada supply. Di sini selalunya agents mengamalkan sikap co-broking atau bekerjasama antara agents di mana listings milik agent A dan clients pula milik agent B. Banyak sekali regulations dan system kerja real estate agents di Singapura yang jauh beza daripada di Malaysia. Aku penat untuk bercerita kerana mata aku sudah ngantuk. Naik menyampah pula aku dengan kawan aku...bercakap semacam bagus. Tidak tahu menahu tentang soal property di Singapura mahu pula bersuara...jikalau dia di depan aku, tentu aku sumbatkan timun ke dalam mulutnya dan akan aku ketuk-ketuk kepalanya sesuka hatiku. HAHAHAHAH....

Aku sedang dalam proses mengajar diri aku bersabar dan pada masa yang sama berusaha menjadi seorang yang lebih baik di dalam bidang yang akan aku buat sebagai career aku. Aku hanya membayangi masa hadapan aku di dalam 5 tahun akan datang atau pun 3 tahun akan datang. Aku penat, ya, kadang-kadang aku rasa seperti mahu berhenti tetapi aku kasihan melihat ibu bapaku. Aku hanya manusia Diary. Aku bukan superwoman atau wonderwoman yang gagah perkasa. Satu hari, aku harus mengaku kalah pada keadaan, itu sudah pasti tapi aku tidak akan patah semangat. Aku tidak akan berhenti mencuba kerana aku tahu jikalau ini jalan yang aku pilih, aku harus finish what I have started.

Jangan khuatir Diary, aku tidak akan berhenti mencuba. Tiada perkara lain yang boleh aku buat melainkan ini yang akan menjanjikan pulangan yang lumayan untuk aku membawa ke Subang Jaya. Walaupun dia sudah tiada lagi, tapi aku masih ada cita-cita di sana. Walaupun seorang diri, aku pasti aku boleh. Biar berseorangan asalkan hati aku tidak hancur. Mungkin sudah merajuk hati aku diperbuatkan oleh cinta. Jikalau cinta datang mengetuk di pintu hati aku, akan aku tendang cinta itu jauh jauh kerana dia tiada kerja lain selain menghancurkan dan menyakitkan. Sungguh bodoh cinta itu. Aku benci dengan cinta.

Aku tidur dulu Diary. Air liur aku sudah tidak sabar hendak keluar. Wahh, bunyi macam pantun pulak...eheh.... 

The Fray - How to save a life (lyrics)

Going Back To Basics

Dear Diary,

I think I wanted so much to close some deals that I am feeling all stressed up right now. I have 2 listings and 3 leads in my pocket and if I am just lucky enough, with endless matchmaking I might be able to close the deals. Well, I have tried and I am still trying. I supposed it has taken its toll on me. I have been so busy matching the leads with the listings that I remember less about her. She still comes to memory at times but I ignored it. What can I do anyway? I even dreamt of her last night and it was the same dream I had of her the very first time I had a dream about her. It is weird that dreams know just how are we supposed to dream about a particular person to suit the relationship we have have with that person. It is just so amazing.

The valuer called me up today and asked if she could come to valuate the house this afternoon at 4pm. I almost wanted to ask her if she was crazy but I did not. Oh come on Diary, she called me at 3pm ok. What did she think she is? Barack Obama?? I believe even Obama does not do that. Give me a break for goodness sake. That is the thing with some people you know, they always make decisions based on their convenience at the expense of others. I told her to come this Friday and she made an appointment with me at 830am. Geezz...!! It is a good thing that I have been practising to be an early bird, oh well, what the heck, at least I can put my practice into some good use can I?

I have to tidy up my house a little before the valuer comes especially my room. You know, my room is beginning to look like a garage since I came back. You know that I had no plans of coming back to Singapore don't you? So my family turned my room into a garage. There are boxes everywhere, all the little furnitures that have been packed are stored in my room and when I made the decision to come back, sadly I have to sleep with these boxes too. I did not complain even till now because I know I have lost the privilege since I decided not to come back to Singapore.

I hope to be efficient in my work nowadays. Although I have not make any closure of transactions, I feel that I have progressed a little. I have known how to check for ownership of flats online, I have known how to submit units for advertisements, I have known how to handle phone enquiries and I have learnt how to manage my time a little. I think I should just rise up and be thankful, for if I didn't learn a lot today, at least I learned a little, and if I didn't learn a little, at least I didn't get sick, and if I got sick, at least I didn't die; so, I guess I just want to be thankful.

If I do not manage to close all my rental leads, I am just going to take it easy because they are probably not meant for me. Isn't that right Diary? I do not want to stress myself anymore. It is really making me edgy nowadays. I supposed I simply have to go back to basics and believe that every little thing happens for reasons and I will have to teach myself how to identify the reasons. It is all in the attitude isn't it Diary? Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. At least I know I have tried to close the deals.

Oh...I hate it when I sound so positive and optimistic like this. I feel like I have to puke sometimes. I mean, I am not a super positive person neither I am a super negative person but I just want to be human you get what I mean? I run and I stumble, I fell and I got right back up again. I am a little deaf, a little blind, a little impotent, and on top of this are two or three abominable infirmities, but nothing destroys my hope to be successful. It is just a matter of time. I cry, I laugh and I curse. Some people may like me and some people don't. What can I do Diary? This is life I am talking about. Not everybody will like my ways. I get confuse sometimes over why people get so sensitive over petty issues that they forgot what they have done are far worse that what others have done to them.

People have called me names that can be deemed as vulgar but I always look at their intentions first before I want to give them a piece of my mind and most importantly, I look at myself in the mirror before I even begin to start my 2 cents worth of advice. We all know there is a very thin line that separates naughty harmless teasings and rude vulgar teasings, if we still do not know how to differentiate, then we might as well flock together with people only with the same kind of manners like us but do not ever think we are perfect because nobody is.

Hope To Bring It On

Dear Diary,

Nothing much happened today. I took quite a bit of time to get out of bed today. As soon as I did, I hurriedly did my household chores and I planned my day. I did not go farming instead I went to my office to get some listings for my clients. I also applied for e-valuation for my house and the valuers will be contacting me in 3 days time. I did everything online and I wondered to myself what would ever happened without the internet nowadays. People can do everything at home. The technology can really act as a bridge to people and businesses.

I have been talking a lot to Gummy Bear lately. Do you still remember her Diary? Talking to her somehow makes me miss Subang Jaya and my lifestyle there. I miss the times when I often had friends coming over just to hang. At times they spent the night in my house and we just watched DVD and simply filled our time with empty talks. I miss my car and how I miss the convenience of having a car to take me to places. At times while I am working here, I would picture myself driving to the nearest coffee shop to buy take away lunch or to just cruise around Subang Jaya just to kill my time.

It is not easy to be back when your heart does not really want to do so. I keep trying to talk to my heart but I am not getting a hint that it is listening to me. What else can I do Diary? I have not catch up with my friends here in Singapore except for Hippo. Most of them are married with children and we have lost in touch since graduation. I feel lousy sometimes. I am not complaining Diary but I just want to tell, you know. Just wanna talk it out. I miss my friends there and what I used to do. It is that time again when I reminisce of how my lifestyle was once upon a time ago.

How are you Diary? Has life been treating you good? Life has been fair to me, Alhamdulillah. I am stressed from work but I am hanging on because I know Allah will not test me with something that I cannot take. If everything in the world is easy, then most of us would be complacent and discontented. There will be no sense of achievements then, right?

I have a dream that I have to achieve. I came back to Singapore for reasons that only I know. I like it or not, I have to be here. I have moved on but I know I have not moved forward yet. I supposed it is time now. Diary, just stay close to me ok.

Good night Diary.

My Productive Sunday

Dear Diary,

I was supposed to have 4 viewing appointments today but 2 was cancelled at the very last minute. I was walking towards the meeting place when I received a text message from the agent representing the tenants that the appointment was cancelled. I was kind of pissed than dissapointed. Firstly, the agent who represents the tenant called me up after midnight last night making an appointment with me. Apart from that he talked as if he will definitely closed the deal. He asked me lots of questions that somehow made me feel so small and inefficient.

I was telling you about checking the ownership of the unit yesterday wasn't I Diary? Well, it came from him. He asked if I have gotten my contract ready and have checked on the ownership. I have gotten my contract ready but I did not do a check on the ownership because firstly I did not have the exclusivity on the unit and secondly Vivian has a couple of agents serving her. I have to admit my mistake for not checking first but I honestly did not appreciate how this agent talked to me about my mistake.

He called me up after midnight and persuaded me to secure an appointment for him exclusively. He talked with full of confidence that his clients will like this unit and make an offer and even told me to try to stop other agents from viewing the unit. I was almost dumbfounded. When he knew that I have not checked the ownership, he started his little prep talk and said that I might be wasting his time if Vivian is not the rightful owner and how I should have done my homework first before I posted the advertisements. I let him talked and just listened to him because after all he was right. However, I did not like how he conveyed his message. He was bold and full of air, stinking one of course.

I told him the viewing only starts at 3 and he in a very typical Singaporean manner, 'die die' wanted to push me to have the viewing appointment for him at 11 in the morning so that we would be earlier than other agents. He actually got me to plan together with him and he made me wondering if I was an agent or a spy for a minute. It was rather comical when I recall about it. Amazingly, I participated in the planning. Duuhh....silly me! 

So there he went, bla bla bla and yadda yadda yadda...what I was supposed to do and how we were going to make the deal go through. Honest to God, I was really thinking that this was going to work as he was full of confidence that his clients agree with the price and unit (even without viewing the unit). So there I was, in the morning when I woke up, checked the ownership of the unit and made viewing arrangements for him at 3pm. 

So as I was walking to the block for my first appointment of the day, this bugger text me and told me he had to cancel the appointment because his clients wanted a cheaper unit elsewhere. It was 2.50pm. I froze when I read his message. After all the trouble he made me went through, after all the time I spent with him on the phone planning to execute the little plan we had and after he without lacking a bit of confidence telling me how his clients had agreed on the price and unit, now he is telling me he had to cancel. Damn this bugger! It was a lucky thing that I got a few other phone calls and I managed to secure another appointment at 530pm and another at 9pm. 

In most cases, it is the norm for agents to have cancelled appointments. We agents are so used to it because we know, the clients are usually the one who cancelled appointments. Agents hardly cancel. And in most cases too, we would just understand and accept cancelled appointments. However, in my case I became very much unhappy with this particular agent. He talked so much about how I did not do my homework, he said that I might be wasting his time and he also said that I should have checked the ownership as I am paid to do so and after so much talk, he cancelled the appointment. Screw him. I text him back in a very diplomatic way to put some sense into his brain. I felt happy after that. Well at least he knows what goes around comes around. No need to talk so much if you cannot make the decision, ultimately the clients are always the king. 

Oh well, Diary...at least now I am progressing a bit. I have gotten the hang of it a little. The more viewings I have, the more likely my chances of closing deals is high. I am beginning to feel how it really feels like to be an agent. Getting belittled by other smart ass agents, getting your appointments cancelled at the very last minute and having almost half your appointments cancelled on the same day. Wow...it really is not easy to be one. It takes lots of patience and perserverance. I am hanging on because I am tough! Am I? We will see.

Good night Diary. There is always a soft spot for you in my heart.    

Vonda Shepard - Baby, Don't You Break My Heart Slow

P.s. I love you till the end - when you re gone