I Am Sensitive

I Am Sensitive

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Going Back To Basics

Dear Diary,

I think I wanted so much to close some deals that I am feeling all stressed up right now. I have 2 listings and 3 leads in my pocket and if I am just lucky enough, with endless matchmaking I might be able to close the deals. Well, I have tried and I am still trying. I supposed it has taken its toll on me. I have been so busy matching the leads with the listings that I remember less about her. She still comes to memory at times but I ignored it. What can I do anyway? I even dreamt of her last night and it was the same dream I had of her the very first time I had a dream about her. It is weird that dreams know just how are we supposed to dream about a particular person to suit the relationship we have have with that person. It is just so amazing.

The valuer called me up today and asked if she could come to valuate the house this afternoon at 4pm. I almost wanted to ask her if she was crazy but I did not. Oh come on Diary, she called me at 3pm ok. What did she think she is? Barack Obama?? I believe even Obama does not do that. Give me a break for goodness sake. That is the thing with some people you know, they always make decisions based on their convenience at the expense of others. I told her to come this Friday and she made an appointment with me at 830am. Geezz...!! It is a good thing that I have been practising to be an early bird, oh well, what the heck, at least I can put my practice into some good use can I?

I have to tidy up my house a little before the valuer comes especially my room. You know, my room is beginning to look like a garage since I came back. You know that I had no plans of coming back to Singapore don't you? So my family turned my room into a garage. There are boxes everywhere, all the little furnitures that have been packed are stored in my room and when I made the decision to come back, sadly I have to sleep with these boxes too. I did not complain even till now because I know I have lost the privilege since I decided not to come back to Singapore.

I hope to be efficient in my work nowadays. Although I have not make any closure of transactions, I feel that I have progressed a little. I have known how to check for ownership of flats online, I have known how to submit units for advertisements, I have known how to handle phone enquiries and I have learnt how to manage my time a little. I think I should just rise up and be thankful, for if I didn't learn a lot today, at least I learned a little, and if I didn't learn a little, at least I didn't get sick, and if I got sick, at least I didn't die; so, I guess I just want to be thankful.

If I do not manage to close all my rental leads, I am just going to take it easy because they are probably not meant for me. Isn't that right Diary? I do not want to stress myself anymore. It is really making me edgy nowadays. I supposed I simply have to go back to basics and believe that every little thing happens for reasons and I will have to teach myself how to identify the reasons. It is all in the attitude isn't it Diary? Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. At least I know I have tried to close the deals.

Oh...I hate it when I sound so positive and optimistic like this. I feel like I have to puke sometimes. I mean, I am not a super positive person neither I am a super negative person but I just want to be human you get what I mean? I run and I stumble, I fell and I got right back up again. I am a little deaf, a little blind, a little impotent, and on top of this are two or three abominable infirmities, but nothing destroys my hope to be successful. It is just a matter of time. I cry, I laugh and I curse. Some people may like me and some people don't. What can I do Diary? This is life I am talking about. Not everybody will like my ways. I get confuse sometimes over why people get so sensitive over petty issues that they forgot what they have done are far worse that what others have done to them.

People have called me names that can be deemed as vulgar but I always look at their intentions first before I want to give them a piece of my mind and most importantly, I look at myself in the mirror before I even begin to start my 2 cents worth of advice. We all know there is a very thin line that separates naughty harmless teasings and rude vulgar teasings, if we still do not know how to differentiate, then we might as well flock together with people only with the same kind of manners like us but do not ever think we are perfect because nobody is.

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