Single and Happy...

Dear Diary,

I woke up early today when my mum called my name. I did not yell out to her because I was too sleepy. I went to bed at three in the morning last night. I did some work online. Have I told you that I am making money online nowadays? I was looking out for other opportunities making money online last night. You can do so many stuffs to generate income online. I found three methods last night. I only have to experiment it later and see if it works for me. The volume is not big yet for us, but I am sure it will grow eventually. Rolly Polly and I are on the roll now. I supposed both of us are focusing our energy into making money. There is no more time to hope for love anymore. Two friends whose hearts are broken who turned their time and energy into something else. We can choose to be depressed and sorry for ourselves but no, we are not. I admire our spirits Diary. I really do.

I have not dreamt about Flying Babe for a couple of weeks now. Instead, I dreamt of my late brother more. He never spoke in my dreams. He will just appear but he never spoke a word. Someone told me before than if a dead man appeared in your dream and never spoke a word, which means it is he who appeared. I supposed that is true.

I dreamt of Peppermint three nights ago when I was in Tangkak. It was unusual because I have never met her. We became better acquainted online and it is amazing how she can come into my dream. It amazes me so much to think of it. You know Diary, when I look at her pictures, she reminds me a little of Flying Babe. Not that she resembles the whole look but her eyes seem similar to that of Flying Babe.

I wonder how Flying Babe is doing now and if she is thinking about me like how I do about her. Whenever she text me after she gets my letters, she will call me the name she called me when we were an item. I do not know what to figure out from that. She often sends me text messages that contain all those pre typed forwarded messages about friendship, life and love. They all mean good and sometimes too superficial to me. Since she received the last letter, the text messages have stopped. That just confirmed that I screwed up in that last letter.

At times, I wanted so much to ask her if we can start all over again. However, after, looking at my situation now with all the travelling I have to make, I changed my mind. My friends laughed at me a little when they know that I am still not over her. They think that I am wasting my time and effort for a love that is not coming back to me. Well, what can I say Diary the love is still here in my heart. It is okay if she is not coming back to me. I can live with that because I know how much she trusted me when we were together. Nevertheless, if my heart still wants to love her, then just let it be. You can say what you want to me Diary. I will not budge.

Gummy Bear has been busy since she graduated. We meet less nowadays. She is busy working while I am busy travelling. Gummy Bear and her partner have been on a roller coaster ride. I got very naughty sometimes that I call her partner crazy. I somewhat were pissed and annoyed with her partner. She does not trust Gummy Bear at all even after four years of relationship. Gummy Bear is such an angel and I just cannot figure out why her partner would find it so hard to trust her. I always had to watch how Gummy Bear had to avoid answering her phone if the phone call is from her partner. I also had to co operate how to mute myself in the car or at my house when I was with Gummy Bear so she could answer her phone call from her partner without having her partner suspicious of her whereabouts. I grew sick of it sometimes. It is probably because I have been single long enough to appreciate my own privacy and freedom. It can also mean that I am beginning to enjoy all the liberty I have to do what I want and go where I want.

You see Diary, being single is not so bad at all. I am a free woman, literally able-bodied woman. Honestly, I am afraid if I were to bump into a woman that can make my heart jumps again. Because, I have begun to shower myself with many doses of prep talks about the goodness of being single but not lonely.