Living In The New Chapter

Dear Diary,

I went for my CEA class last night and as I got there, I asked the receptionist for the attendance sheet and only then I realized that there was no class last night. This always happen to me. I absent myself when there is class and I present myself when there is no class. I laughed a bit when I realized my silly blunder only to soothe my tired self. It is something that I have learnt during my training. We have to throw the racket. What is done cannot be undone. I should have checked the schedule first before I left home.

Diary, how are you? Is everything okay? In case you are wondering about me, I shall say that I am good only that my eyes are tired from too much laptop. I have been importing more of my old entries from angelfire into blogspot. I have also changed your outlooks and added more gadgets to you. How do you like it Diary? As soon as I am finished, I will delete my account in angelfire. I read some of my old entries and they brought me to the times before I moved to Malaysia. It felt like only yesterday I was there and now I am back to where I came from. I still do not know what to feel about it all Diary. I figured that I simply have to accept it with an open heart. It is hard to adjust but I know I am doing it for my own betterment.

I am making efforts but I am saddened by my surroundings sometimes. At times I feel like I have lost it all. I have no more spirits you know what I mean? This is not who I really am. I have always been the one woman crusader. Never got affected by my surroundings but I guess this time, I am losing it all. I am not giving up but I am recollecting my strengths. Everything came all at once. The giving up of the house, the leasing of my car, leaving Subang Jaya, coming back to Singapore, the new life, new job and many else. I am so broke already but still I have to pull through. Oh Diary, if only I could shout out loud what I feel inside me.

I know I cannot turn back. I have to live my life as it is now. I am trying to turn all the sadness into fuel for my journey into this new chapter of my life. Life is totally like a book isn’t it Diary? We leave one chapter and begin a new one in our life at stages. I will live through it all regardless of the mood of the chapters with perseverance and patience I humbly seek from God. I thank God for giving me the chance to live my life in this chapter to make me a stronger, patient person. I know He will not give me more than what I can take. And I also know that I will get out of this chapter soon with a little bit of patience because Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off. Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. Be with me Diary in this times of my adversities.