Waiting Endlessly To Work

Dear Diary,

It has been two days since I stepped out of the house. I have been lazing at home. I did not go to my CEA class and neither did I go for the training. I just felt lazy. I am not sure why but perhaps it has something to do with the level of motivations I am feeling right now. I have to admit I am not motivational anymore. Or maybe it is because of all the travelling I have made. I knew I would have this coming. I always get this after intense travelling I have made.

I spent my time at home giving you a new look Diary. I hope you like your new look as I have added some of my old write ups. I have included 2 pages on the main page which consist of my thoughts and poems. Reading back the old stuffs, I see how much progress I have made in life. Whenever I am halfway up, I am always halfway down. Oh Diary, now and again I just feel that I am really a late bloomer you know.

I have imported all the poems and thoughts I wrote but I still have to import the older entries for my diary. Can you believe that I started blogging since 2004? It has been 10 years now and I can actually recall what I went through 6 years ago. I still keep in mind how I started blogging. It all started from my brother’s death. Well, I had been writing my thoughts earlier but blogging was not so popular at that time so I created my own homepage and I had all my writings there. I became inactive since I moved to Malaysia and for the whole of 2008, I did not write to you at all. 2008 really was a bad year for me. There were many heartaches and miseries that had happened. I never want to recall 2008.

Diary, I called YOG yesterday and apparently, they also do not know when I start work. I think there are some hiccups about this project. Now I am really having second thoughts to work there. Apart of me wants the job badly but on the contrary, I am pissed with them for making me wait endlessly like this. It is difficult for me because I do not know what’s going on. I was told to start work early April during the interview and when the time came, there were no phone calls at all. When I called them, I was told that I may have to start work on 19th April or probably the 3rd of May. However I am still at home now waiting for their call.

They made me sign the contract so urgently as if I had to start work straight away but they kept me waiting like as though I am a fool. That is what I am so pissed about. Firstly they did not tell me honestly that I may have to wait 2-3 months before I am able to start work. They merely asked me if it is ok for me to start work a month later. If they had been straightforward in the first place, I wouldn’t have taken this job. I could have taken other part time jobs and I could have been earning right now and at least I would have money to fund my marketing cost for the real estate job I am also doing.

Oh Diary, I might visit Subang Jaya this weekend to pack my clothes and all the lose items in the house. I will bring them to Tangkak and put them there. I will have to do it this weekend because I do not want to waste anymore time. I will leave the furniture there and find some used furniture broker to buy them. Most of the furniture is still in good condition especially the fridge and the television set. I will sell the cooking gas to the shop near my house to get back my deposit. I can picture how much sweat I will be having this weekend if everything happens according to plan. There are so many packing and dismantling to do. I really do not mind all the trouble you know but one thing I cannot stand is to bring the stuffs into the car. My house is on the 7th floor and gosh, the journey from the house to the car frightens me.

Did you know that the last time I was there, I had to make 10 trips from my house to the garbage bin downstairs to throw all the old newspaper in the house. And annoyingly most of them were Paranoid’s! She started the culture of collecting the old newspaper in the house and as time goes by, the stack of papers have grown higher and higher. I somewhat knew she will not throw them away and so I put them into the black garbage bags and carried them two by two to the garbage bin downstairs. There were altogether about 16 bags and imagine my sweat Diary when I threw them away.

The thing about apartments in Malaysia is; their basic facilities are not even up to the standard of Singapore flats. They do not have the rubbish chute in the house where residents have the convenience of throwing rubbish right from their house into the chute. Perhaps I have not lived in the apartments that have the facility but I doubt there are many apartments or condominiums in Malaysia that have it. I do not remember having that facility in Seri Maya Condominiums in KL, I do not recall having it in the apartments in Damansara and I definitely do not have that convenience in the current apartment I live in Subang Jaya. From the high end to the low end residential I have lived there, I did not get pleasure from this convenience.

Oh Diary, I am going to talk to my dad about my plan to go Subang Jaya this Saturday and I am going to take a loan from him for my flyers. I am going to do it Diary. I have to begin somewhere. It looks like my manager is not organizing anymore road shows in the near future. He probably thinks that it is a waste of time since I did not get to close any deals from the leads I got in the road shows. Well…never mind…we will just have to wait and see I supposed. I still believe I will make it in this industry. It is still too early to conclude.

I got to go Diary. I love you so much and please take care.