Love Right...

Dear Diary,

I have been so busy with work that I have forgotten about the miseries I thought I have. I am not sure if those miseries ever exist in my life because the busier I got, the more I think my life is blessed. Perhaps I do have some things that I would consider them to be my miseries but what can I do and what can I say? This is life. At times when you think things are going to be okay, there will always be things that make it not okay. And there you go again, trying to coach yourself and your heart to get right back on to the track to recovery again. I wish I never had made the decision to put my heart in jeopardy once more because it can be unbearable to handle.

I hope I could stop talking about the heartaches of my heart because I am beginning to feel that I have never been happy emotionally since I came back to Singapore. I have lost lots of weight and everybody I met threw comments at me how thin I have become. I want to be thin, but I want to be happily thin. I have not noticed if I have eaten lesser than usual but I have to admit that I have grown thin. It could be the stress from work, the heartaches from failed relationships and the burden of having to hold my long for the person I have loved dearly.

It is difficult to yearn for someone when you know she is forever gone. I try so hard to take her name out of my mind but it has been proven that forgetting someone really takes a lifetime to do. I probably will remember her until I closed my eyes for good.

I am never a girlfriend material kind of person because I can be so sensitive at the slightest things. I cannot change myself and I cannot turn my heart into stone cold. I am just someone who is difficult to be loved. I should be a happy person today because I managed to find a house for my client and yes, I have closed another deal. I have always thought that I would be happy if I have made some successful transactions but no, I was wrong.

Love plays a part in everyone’s life. Love is like a drug that feeds a person’s soul. If you think you are in love but you cannot get anything out of it, leave that love and move on because as much as you need love in your life, you also deserve to be treated right when the vow is made. One thing I have learnt is to be in love with the right person because it can save lots of heartaches.