Prep Talks With Pepper and Salt

Dear Diary,

I have exhausted my time revising my database system and cracking my head on the marketing methods that I must use to promote my service. I have been chatting a lot with Mother Softie and just about yesterday we were talking about the marketing methods available to promote her company products and then it struck me that I could use some of the marketing methods we discussed for my service. I supposed this is what it means when people say ideas can be adapted from living our lives everyday.

I have done a lot for the past few days to enhance my work habits. I have organized my email systems and sent out many emails to prospective clients. I have received 3 replies and I can tell that it is kind of encouraging. I have linked my database system with my email so I can synchronize them whenever I do my work. I have started my research on writing a good business proposal and I have updated my blog with my entries way back in 2004. I have about 100 entries in 2004 that have yet to be transferred here.

How much I have written and how long I have been writing my blog, I was just thinking about it yesterday. The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium. I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions however I need to write more in Malay because many of my friends say that my written Malay sounds funny. I am not quite sure what they mean when they say that. Well, I doubt them because I know I was the best Malay student in my primary school who scored the highest in Malay in the Primary School Leaving Examination. But then again, that is when I was 12 years old. *Chuckles*

I haven’t written in Malay for so long since then. I have to admit that I feel kind of offended and pissed when I am told that my written Malay sucks because I know I used to be good at it and how much I have lost my skills and most amazingly, my touch. Damn Diary! Screw me! It is funny how nowadays whenever I try to write in Malay, I will tend to write it with a little bit of Indonesian influence. Conceivably it is the kind of Malay books that I read nowadays. I am on Andrea Hirata currently and I can say that he has a big inspiration on me and my writing habits in Malay has begun to sound a little or perhaps a fraction like his. I have read somewhere that writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

Oh well Diary, there are many things that I am up to nowadays. My heart is more relax now and I am calmer in terms of controlling my emotions. Yes, I am still broke but I am not skin. I have about $7k in commission waiting for me in mid December and I have about $400 in commission waiting for me in mid October. That is the thing about working as an agent. You have money but the money is way ahead than where you are at the moment because sales of homes transactions take about 3 months to complete for HDB and about 1-2 months to complete for private properties.

I am trying hard to get a client and thus all the marketing techniques that I am applying in my crusade to find a client. I am still praying and I am still hoping. I have so many dreams for myself, my parents, my family and my love. Friends have came up to me and told me about their career plans and love lives while I sat down in front of my laptop reading every details they told me. I kind of feel challenged but I know I am not jealous because I know, there will always be light for me at the end of the tunnel.

I am rebuilding my life from scratch and I know someday I will get to where I want to. I know that. Confident I maybe but I am talking from experience. Or perchance I am just being an optimist now. It doesn't hurt to be optimistic. You can always cry later. I always get what I want no matter how long it takes or how difficult it is. I have known myself for 33 years and I know there is a monster in me that is merely hiding. She needs some kind of awakening to show herself with a vengeance. Oh Diary, am I boasting now? I do not think so. I think it is just a prep talk to motivate myself because everybody needs a prep talk once a while.

I love the friends that I have now. Quantity is nothing without quality. When I speak, they listen to me and when I write they read me. That makes me feel contented to fill my paper with the breathings of my heart. It is naturally beautiful, this life I have. I am blessed.

I love you Diary and I miss my Beautiful one.