Dear Diary,
I spent the whole day in JB and I am so tired and sleepy. We had to go to two banks and I accompanied mum there. There were many times where I lost my temper but I managed to hold it back. I honestly did not want to have an argument with my mum over some petty issues. She wanted to go to a bank but she did not know the directions and I got a little too annoyed with that.
I am not sure what is wrong with me. The older I get the worse my temper gets. Sometimes, I wish I had not taken this trait from my mum but I cannot help it. I have tried in all probability to control it but I know I have failed. That is perhaps the reason why I always failed at relationships. Well, apart from being impatient for people to change I know my temper contributes to all those unsuccessful relationships.
Hello Kitty came to the rescue. She guided me to the bank and I followed her from behind. She is always the one nowadays to rescue me from any kind of situations I am in and at times, I wonder if I can ever repay her kindness and thoughtfulness back. She bought me a book called, “True Love Is…” I have read it. Sometimes I wish I could be more sensitive towards her. I wish I could have been more patient with her. She makes me feel so comfortable that I am totally being myself when I am with her and when I am being myself, the impatient and bad-tempered traits got the better of me. I am told to just be myself, but as much as I have practiced the impression, I am still no good at it. I supposed it is true that no man can climb out beyond the limitations of his own character.
Have you taken dinner yet Diary? I have had my dinner and it was good. I think I might go for a jog tomorrow morning. I surely need to think about lots of things while I run. I used to do that while I was climbing the mountains. Climb and think. That’s what I did. But it’s not as easy as before since I am not active anymore. I would love to repeat that part of my life again someday. It will be just nature and me. I miss it so much Diary.
My brother just introduced a friend of his who is also an active mountain climber. She added me to her facebook and she sent me a message. I have not replied. I might reply her later tonight. She asked me for some tips on Gunung Tahan. I hope I can join her if she is planning for it. It has really been a long time. I am a bit rusty now. So rusty that I think I might be left behind in the trail. I have not been running or been to the gym. I am not sure how good my stamina is nowadays but I know I am always a competitive person when it comes to sport. However, I am just not as competitive in love. That is why I am only left with ‘X’ (This is what Daisy told me yesterday). Poor me…
Got to go now Diary...forgive me for my temper. I will try to fuck it soon.
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