I Have To Decide..Soon!

Dear diary,

I went for a career talk at one of the other agency. This agency specializes in project marketing, which consists of private properties. The career talk is all the same like my current agency only that they can offer me 85% in commission, which is 15% increase. I like the sound of that. However, to switch over to this agency requires money for the Institute of Estate Agent to do some documentations and paper works. That news dampens my spirit a little. I have money to pay for the transfer, more than enough actually but I hate the idea of having to pay and pay without making any money or progress in the industry.

Nevertheless, I am a bit convinced about this agency because of its reputation in the private property market. I am just not so sure if switching over would be good for me because I know despite of what the circumstances and situations are, it all boils down to me. Do I want to or not. If I had paid the money for the transfer and step it up, do what I am supposed to do diligently, yes the transfer would be worth it but if I had transfer and still practice the same working habits, it is not worth it. It really is up to me now. I have not thought what I really want to do. I am still indecisive and I presume time will help me decide. I shall not put pressure on myself.

I did a little organizing this morning. I woke up to the sound of the radio courtesy of my mother. She never fails to turn the volume up and attract attentions. I really hate it when she does that. Mum bought a new chest drawer unit from IKEA and she is disposing dad's documents drawer unit. I took it and dumped all my documents inside. I have no more outstanding organizing to do for my room now that all are done. Since moving into the new house, I have been to IKEA for a thousand times. Strangely, I never got tired of it. I like the concept and ideas. IKEA to me is like the furniture supermarket everyone must go.

I am going there again this evening. Hello Kitty is bringing her friend and I will have to show her the way there. She knows the way there but well, I suppose what we really want to do is to see each other. Hello Kitty has been supportive of my decisions. She has never question nor condemn me. I feel happy with her and most significantly blessed. I never have to fake my emotions neither do I have to be pretentious when I am with her. She allows me to be myself and that is why I am very comfortable with her.

Having her around helps me overcome this period of loneliness. I have been alone for so long before but really, coming back to Singapore was never easy for me. I had to leave the place I like in a sudden. What I had while I was there, I had to give up, even the car. Everything happened so fast I did not have a chance to let the facts settled. I became a bit lost and dreamy. It was hard for me Diary. Yes, my family is with me but I miss my life when I was there and being there was the thing I have always wanted to do since I was 18. It was crazy. I would like to repeat that but I know it will not happen so quickly. I have to teach myself to focus that my life is in Singapore now. People say, if you do not like something, change it; if you cannot change it, change the way you think about it.

Oh well, the transition period is never easy for anybody. All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. I should be lucky that where I am now, it is safe at least in the history of countries hit by natural disaster. Have you heard of what happened in Japan Diary? It is sad and devastating but it already happened. Most foreigners there when interviewed said that the Japanese are very calmed. I guess experiences give them the upper hand. I never could visualize how I would be like if I were to be trap in such situations. I have never experienced it once. It is true how experience is the teacher of fools.

Perhaps I should just do the switch of agency. Don’t you agree Diary?