Kings Of Leon - Use Somebody (Boyce Avenue feat. Hannah Trigwell acousti...

The beauty with a pretty voice.........*melts*

Forex Will Be My Support

Dear Diary,

How have you been? I am fine except that my cough is getting worst. My chest hurts when I cough. My throat hurts when I swallowed my saliva. Eeuuu...hahaha well who does not swallow his saliva? Everybody does. In fact we might end up swallowing our partner's saliva too after we kiss. *grins*

I have not taken any medicine for my cough because all the medicines mostly make me feel groggy and sleepy. I do not like to spend my time sleeping too much when I am not working. I feel that time is wasted. I spend my time watching the market nowadays. I study the trend and I learnt how to read the charts and predict where the direction of the market is going. I am not good yet, in fact I am far from good. I have made a profit of $279.82 (as I am writing to you) in my demo account. I have so many things to learn about Forex. I am excited and I am waiting for the right time to open a real live account. There are people who started small and there are who started big. I have heard a few who only started with as little as $100. I suppose it all depends on how much you want to risk.

I am thinking of $3000 just so I could trade comfortably without worrying about insufficient margin and equity. I am still doing some reading on margins and equity. I know what they mean but I just need to know how much is enough if I leave open positions overnight for so many days. What is the ideal ratio I should invest out of my capital. The stuffs like that are important to me because I have not mastered chart reading techniques yet. As of now, I have about 16 open positions which I still cannot close because the market is going against me. Perhaps I was excited that I overlooked the logic of Forex trading when I opened those positions. I have left them opened for 6 days now. I am still waiting for the market to be in my favour to close those 16 positions. Oh Diary, my profit has risen to $285.27 now. 

I opened a few positions while writing to you and managed to close them within 30 minutes. If you had noticed, my profits are not big at all but I do not mind because I am at a learning process. To make consistent profits is my priority. Yes, I can make big profits provided I play it big and with many contracts/lots at a time. I have not done that yet. I am looking around for a free seminar on Forex. There is one tonight but I missed it because I did not register earlier. 

Oh yeah, I went for the interview at the bank yesterday. I do not know if I stand any chance of getting the job but the interviewer was so damn nice and polite. She was so soft spoken and kind. She did not ask me any questions on my previous experiences. I am simply confused actually. She did not even ask me for my identification card to cross check with my resume and application form. It makes me think that this interview was too easy. Really it was. I did not see any other candidates when I was there. I was the only one. Oh never mind...I am not stress out. I know I have Forex to fall back on if I do not have a job. I simply have to open a real account earlier than expected I think

I have other plans now, to be in a business is still in it but I guess I have to put it off for now. I supposed it is better for me to use the savings I have for the stall to invest in Forex and make my money grow while broaden my knowledge and sharpen my trading skills. At least five years from now, I can see how much I have progress in Forex if I never stop learning and trading it. I know this is the thing that I have been looking for. Business is still a business, but Forex is something else. You can do it alone all by yourself. You get what I mean Diary? 

Ps: Dear FB...If I am good at it, perhaps it is for you. 

Good Morning Monday

Dear Diary,

It is Monday. I am on the train to work. This morning the Forex market opens again and I began my trading again. The market opens from Monday to Friday 24 hrs a day. That is a good thing because it gives us traders the opportunities to make or lose money round the clock. Hahaha....my demo account has been generating profits. They are not big but on the average I make about $50 profit daily. I have yet to master the techniques and the trading platform. 

I suppose the things I have to master first are the common Forex trading jargons and terms. Also, I have to know what are their functions. I think I have found the most suitable way to grow my money and be cash rich. It is not too early to say because I know with Forex, you surely can make lots of money and vice versa. It depends on how you trade though. That is why experienced Forex traders always emphasized on the correct techniques. 

I have been chatting up with an old acquaintance just the other day. Ohh I do not know what to say about it but that conversations somehow has an impact on me. Oh Diary....things changed and let alone people. 

Catch you later Diary.

I Am Healthy

Dear Diary,

I went to the polyclinic and got my chest x-rayed. The result was good. Nothing is wrong with me, at least for now. The coughing got worsened and I have not been taking any medicine. I do not like to take the medicine cos it will make me groggy and sleepy. I hate that. The only thing I have taken is panadols. The pounding headache is killing me and I had to. 

The x-ray cost me another $22 and that made it $66 for two days sick leave. Fuck it. I am trading Forex nowadays; demo account that is. I am not ready to open a real live trading account. I am practising my skills and yes I have made a profit of $133 after a five day practice. I am still not good at it but I have had some basic knowledge of trading. I used to trade silver 12 years ago and the basics are still the same. Buy Low, Sell High or Sell High, Buy Low. 

I see the potential Diary. I think this is even better than having a food stall. This is a business better than a business. You do not need to pay rent for a business premise, no need to pay salaries for staffs as you do not need any and there is no overhead really. You just have to pump in some cital to start trading and make money. But, Forex is not all about making money, you can lose money too if you make the wrong decisions. 

With the money I have, I am comfortable to trade. Not yet actually, I will only open a real live trading account when I know I am good enough to go. This is real money Diary. We are talking about  the possibility of turning USD $3000 into USD$300,000. By when? I do not know but in Forex anything is possible including the other way around. So make sure you know what you are doing before you trade. I have decided I am gonna work a while more until I am good at Forex. I am going back to the banking industry and trade Forex at home or perhaps anywhere. I have installed the mobile trading platform on my iPad. Diary, this is good, this is really good. I have so much to talk about it. 

Oh yes, I have an interview this Tuesday with a bank. Wish me luck.

Please Do Not Panick

Dear Diary,

I am on sick leave for two days. I did not plan this but I was just lazy to get out of my bed and I ended up oversleeping myself therefore I decided to take sick leave for the day. I went to the doctor thiking of what to say. The truth is, I have been sick since Chinese New Year. I drove up to Tangkak and did not really have much time sleeping and resting while I was there. I was down with fever, cough and cold. I thought it was only natural since I knew I had little time of rest.

When I got to the clinic I told the doctor about that. He was surprised as it has been a week since CNY. He took my temperature and it was 37.5 deg cel. Yes, I felt feverish when I was in Tangkak, I took panadols and drank some coconut water. I felt that the fever subsided but it still hangs around actually. The doctor then listened to my heartbeat, I kinda made a sound when I was breathing. Like when I was inhaling, there was a sound from my heart. I have noticed this but I really thought it was the phlegm from the cough. Although I knew it was unnatural, I did not give it too much of my attention. He made me took the nebuliser and listened to my heartbeat again. 

I still made the sound. It was natural. I did not fake it just so I could get the sick leave. It came out naturally and I was kinda worried. The doctor asked me if I am asthmatic. No I am not. There is not an asmathic in my family except for my cousin, niece and aunty. He seemed concerned and puzzled. He arranged for me to go for an x-ray at a nearby polyclinic tomorrow and so my sick leave is extended to two days. Again, this was all unplanned. My only reason for not coming to work was laziness but it seems that it has gotten serious. The doctor said that there could only be two possibilities. One is asthma, two is lung infections. I would prefer the latter. 

The clinic bill was a whopping $42 and I swear I was not prepared for that. I have to prepare some more cash for tomorrow's x-ray and the medical fees at the clinic tomorrow. I went home and told my dad. He got worried and told me sternly to stop smoking and take care of my health. Dad probably told my mother and mom came into my room and again nagged at me for that. They are concerned I supposed. I guess it is going to be alright. As long as it is not something serious like cancer I am fine. Well, I hope things are going to be alright. I am panicking a little now. I am sad. Cheer me up Diary....

Practice Makes Perfect

Dear Diary,

The search for a stall is put on hold for awhile. Do not ask me why. I do not know it myself. All I am feeling right now is to think what I wanna do next. I really do not know what to say. The money is almost ready, I have tendered and waiting for my last day at work but I supposed the fear just gets to me you know. All the phone calls I have made seemed to give me a reality check of what it is going to be like once I have the stall. I am still giving myself some time. My would be business partner is quiet too. She has not asked anything about the plan. I let it be.

Last night was the first time I practice my Forex trading skills with a demo account. I have been reading about Forex for a few days now. i watched youtube videos on it and did some research on it. I downloaded ebooks about it. There are so many things to say about Forex. One thing for sure, it can make you huge profits but it can also make you huge losses. That is trading. It is not always rainbows and butterflies. I downloaded a trading platform and I am using the demo account for now. I still do not understand the trading platform fully but I am getting myself familiarise with it. 

I supposed I have to use it and wear it in order to know it. Many regular traders also said that the best thing to learn about Forex is to try it yourself with a demo account. Going for expensive seminars can be quite useless because the seminars only last for two or three days. There will be hundreds of people attending the seminars therefore there will not be one to one guidance. How much can you learn like that? Furthermore, the seminars are really not cheap, it can be quite expensive. I am exchanging emails though with one full time regular trader. He has his own website and I recently downloaded his ebook on Forex. He is by far the only one that I am seeking advise on Forex. 

Well, there are a lot to say about Forex. The 'veteran' traders said, treat it like a business. Have a trading plan just like having a business plan before you start your business. One thing I like about Forex is, it is a big market and you can do it in the comfort of your own home. No need for you to have a physical business premise or hire staff to run it. You simply need a computer or a laptop and an internet connection. I can even trade on my iPad or android using the web based trading platforms. Best of all, I can do it wherever and whenever I like when the market opens. 

The money I have for the business now, I think I will keep it first. I would like to grow that money. The dream of having a restaurant is still mine but perhaps this is not the right time yet. Maybe I should grow that money first with Forex. 

everwood acceptance

I'm sorry...

BBC Speechless As Trader Tells Truth

Truth prevails...at least he is honest.

Aku Pulang

Hello Diary,

Bertemu lagi kita. Terasa rindu padamu waktu aku bercuti di Tangkak. Penat sekali aku sehingga demam. Tidurku tidak pernah cukup kerana ada saudaraku sekeluarga yang bercuti bersama kami. Aku terpaksa melayan. Tetapi tidaklah seteruk mana sebab mereka bukannya jenis yang makan minum harus dihidang dan disiapkan. Aku cuma penat memandu ke sana sini sebab kami banyak menghabiskan masa keluar berjalan. Dua kereta kesemuanya dan tiga pemandu. Aku, adik saudaraku dan ibuku tetapi yang memandu cuma aku dan adik saudaraku. Ibuku seperti biasa, hanya duduk sebagai backseat driver membaca buku. Itu sahajalah kerja dia. Tidak pernah ingin memandu dan menggunakan lesen yang sedia ada kepada maksima. 

Kadang kala aku marah atau geram sekali dengannya kerana apa bezanya dia bila tidak berlesen dan berlesen. Tidak ada sekali bezanya, sama sahaja. Tidak aku paham mengapa tetapi kalau dibiarkan begitu akan sia-sia sahaja usahanya mendapatkan lesen memandu. Ibuku tidak ghairah memandu walaupun sudah mempunyai kereta sendiri. Dibiarkan sahaja keretanya tersidai di Tangkak. Aku belum mahu menegur jadi aku diamkan sahaja. Tetapi aku harap, janganlah sampai aku terpaksa menegur dengan caraku sendiri sebab aku tahu betapa lantang I can be. Kalau sudah sampai masanya aku tahu aku akan berbuat demikian dan mungkin akan digelar kurang ajar. 

Oh Diary, biarkan sahaja ya. Sekarang ini aku cuma ingin memberitahu kamu bahawa aku tidak sabar untuk menunggu last day aku di kerja dan lepas itu aku ingin berehat sungguh sungguh sebab aku tahu badan dan otakku perlukan sangat rehat dan tidur. Aku hanya mahu menjadi pemalas untuk sementara waku sebab sudah puas rasanya aku menjadi rajin. Oh Diary lagi satu aku ingin bercerita, aku sedang berjinak jinak dengan Forex dan mungkin, entah mungkin aku ingin mencubanya juga. 

Kita lihat nanti ya. Aku tidur dulu Diary. Selamat malam.

Aku Akan Cuba

Hello Diary,

Apa khabar? Sudah lama rasanya tidak bertulis dalam bahasa Melayu. Rindu bagaikan merindui zaman zaman apabila aku duduk di Subang Jaya. Ya, aku masih tidak dapat melupakan kegembiraan yang aku rasakan apabila bermastautin di sana. Tidak pernah aku lupa. Tidak pernah aku bosan.

Sekarang ini aku kembali ke pangkuan keluarga di Singapura. Berkerja untuk hidup dan hidup untuk berkerja. Jikalau diberi peluang, ingin aku kembali ke Subang Jaya. Banyak kenangan manis di sana dan juga kenangan pahit. Tetapi, yang aku ingat hanyalah kenangan manis sahaja kerana sesungguhnya, aku gembira di sana. Rindu untuk memandu keretaku. Rindu untuk berjumpa kawan kawanku.

Aku sedang mencuba nasib untuk menjadi usahawan di sini. Mudah mudahan keputusan yang aku ambil tidak menghampakan aku. Susah juga untuk memulakan segalanya daripada zero. Ya, kalau boleh aku mahu menjadikan keputusan aku ini dari zero ke hero. Entahlah Diary, aku pun tidak tahu kalau boleh. Bukan tiada keyakinan diri tetapi aku hanya berasa takut sedikit. Wang yang ada hanya untuk mencuba nasib sekali sahaja. Jikalau aku gagal, itu artinya aku harus bermula dari zero lagi; ya itu mengumpul sehingga aku boleh melakukannya lagi. 

Tidak senang untuk memahamkan orang apabila aku bercerita atau memberitahu apa yang ada dalam hati. Semuanya boleh, semuanya tidak mustahil pada mereka. Ya memang betul tetapi kita juga harus bersikap realistic. Jangan terlalu over confident pesanan Flying Babe. Mungkin dia paham tetapi masih banyak lagi aku ingin bercerita padanya. Masa sahaja yang tidak mengizinkan. Kadang kala teringat ingat zaman bersamanya. Ohhh zaman ya....hahaha seperti bertahun tahun lamanya aku bersama dia apabila aku menggunakan perkataan 'zaman'. Lucu sekali. 

Aku bertekad untuk memulakan perniagaan makanan kecil kecilan. Aku ingin mempunyai gerai makan. Sudah disusun semuanya rancangan ini di dalam kepala otak aku. Yang tinggal aku lakukan hanyalah execution nya. Itulah dia yang aku takutkan.....kalau nak diukur pengalaman aku, memang tidak seberapa tetapi aku memang ada pengalaman dalam bidang ini cuma yang aku risau, aku tiada back up funds. Perniagaan yang baru dimulakan sekurang kurangnya memerlukan masa 3 bulan untuk dikenali ramai. Buat masa itu, tentu sekali aku perlukan cash flow yang banyak untuk menampung kekurangan sales. Itulah sebabnya aku risau sedikit tentang keadaan. 

Aku sedang mengusahakan untuk mendapatkan business grant dari kerajaan. Harap harap aku berjaya nanti. Business proposal masih lagi aku menulis. Tamat tempoh kerja aku, akan aku habiskan nanti. Mungkin di sini bermula impian menjadi kenyataan. Mungkin ya dan mungkin tidak. Aku akan cuba walaupun aku harus melakukannya sorang diri kerana aku tahu aku boleh sebab aku kuat jikalau aku mahu. Ya Allah....engkau permudahkanlah perjalanan hambamu ini. 

Stay Focus

Dear Diary,

I am home. Tired. I am going for a short get away this weekend with my family. I am feeling better today, no more anxieties. I think I can stay focus now. I got to go. I need to sleep. 

Taming The Lion Within

Dear Diary,

I have been quiet today. I worry too much about things, I know and I get tensed by doing that. I get irritable easily with the people closest to me. I am taming myself. I am remembering all the positive things surrounding me. I am remembering my cousin brother who is doing quite well running a food stall. I am remembering other successful small time businessmen and women. I am reading as much as I can about successful and failed businesses. I am remembering the reasons why I want this so much. I feel calm now Diary. I guess the lion inside me is tamed. 

Happy Snapping

Dear Diary,

I am feeling irritable today. I suppose I am simply stressed out about everything. I feel that I am not getting the moral support that I should be getting from the people closest to me. I do not know what I am feeling now. It is hard to describe. The headache is back again. Yes, perhaps the process of getting the business started is taking its toll on me. But then again, this is just the beginning. I have not even started. 

Do you get what I mean now Diary? I am a natural worrier. This is what I am afraid of. I guess it is time for me to coach myself to be carefree a little. I guess I have to play it safe. If I have to do it alone, then I will. Frankly, I am seeing the bigger picture now. I am not sure if I should have a business partner. I don't know Diary...I am just not feeling it. I am probably not in the right mind to make a decision now. I am tired, sleepy and angry at the moment. I just snapped at someone just about an hour ago. I supposed I just needed an avenue to let my steam off. Oh Fuck it Diary.....

My Langkawi Vacation and Sunday Driving Rage

Dear Diary,

Did you know that I went for a holiday to Langkawi with my family in December? I had fun there. I text Flying Babe and Chipsmore and apparently they are going to Langkawi too in January. It keeps me wonder why Langkawi has become so popular nowadays. The last time I was there, it was 21 years ago. There are a lot of changes now, so many that it is no surprise why it has become so popular. 

I suppose the highlights of Langkawi are the cable car and the Sky Bridge. I got to ride on the cable car but not the Sky Bridge as it was closed  for repairs when I was there. It was a waste but I did not really bother as the cable car ride made up for it. The views on top were spectacular. We did many things and I guess the whole family enjoyed the mangrove tour the most. Mom bought 4 sets of Cornelle glassware for our home in Tangkak. It was madness to carry them onto the ferry.

The ferry boarding systems suck a little. It was disorganise and would be a hassle if you have many luggage. The platform was narrow having only the capacity to fit one person at a time. People with many luggage or bulky items need to carry the items one by one at a time and this could be hogging up the queue. That is how they do things there. We rented a car for 4 days there and driving in Langkawi was very relaxing and carefree. Chenang beach was the most happening at night there. It was almost similar to Bali except that Bali is more happening and lively. The seafood there was great, the people were friendly and the atmosphere was rejuvenating. We planned to visit it again and this time we wanna try renting the yatch for a night and sleep in the open sea on that yatch. 

Today, I spent my time cleaning the house. I fetched mom from work and there were two incidents that made me lost my patience. I suppose I am one impatient lady driver. I sounded my horn 10 times at two cars. The first was when he went into my lane abruptly causing me to slam on my brake a little. The second until the tenth horn was at a van whose driver simply took his own time driving and getting lost. he drove for about 30 km/p and stopped as and when he liked simply to be sure where he was. I got irritated because he seemed oblivious to the cars behind him. It was as if he owned the road when he did what he did. 

It was easy for him. The road was not congested and he could easily stopped at an isolated road without disrupting traffic if he just wants to find his way back but instead he stopped right there and then causing the cars behind him to stop as well. He did not realised that he was hogging and disrupting the flow of traffic. I lost my patience and I sounded my horn at him for about 8 times. I was pissed, I really was. As I did what I did, my thoughts were with my mom and wonder if other drivers would be as impatient as I am with her driving skills. I wish I had controlled my temper just now but I could not help it. Well, I am sorry I hope mom would improve on her driving skills soon. 

I got to go Diary. Oh yes...I am still looking for a stall. I am not sure when will I be able to find one that suits me but hey...I got to be choosy right? Location is about everything in a retail business. Okie dokie...got to rin now. Love you Diary.       

Everwood Scene: Cause we were never Friends...

cause we were never friends....

someone said this to me before....

life is so complex when love is in it....

Let It All Go

Dear Diary,

I have forgotten if I have told you I have tendered my resignation. I guess I have told you and today, two representatives from the human resource department came to interview us. I did not know about this until my supervisor told me to go into the meeting room. It simply pissed me off because they caught me off guard. I did what I needed to do and I supposed that was it. I think I said mostly what I wanted to say. 

I am sleepy Diary. I need to work tomorrow. Good night Diary, good night Love.