Continueing The Memories

Dear Diary,

I have a bruise on my elbow. I knocked my elbow on the window frame of my transport and it hurts. It must have been a strong knock as it was loud and now it is bruised just like my spirit. I am recovering but it will take time. I miss you so much Diary. I am sorry that I have not been spending much time with you lately. I have not written to you but don’t you ever think that I have forgotten you.  You are always on my mind and I have never stopped praying for your well being. I fast today and I broke my fast with a piece of Karipap.

Today was a good day. I started the day by wishing some of my good friends merdeka. Well, they are all Malaysians. I have more friends in Malaysia than in Singapore. It is strange I know knowing that I am born and breed here than in Malaysia. I feel comfortable there even though it is not as safe as in Singapore. For the 4.5 years I was there, I never got robbed, however I was burgled by my own friend. I guess it is just how you take care of yourself. If it is going to happen then it will regardless where you are. 

I chatted with Pumpkin this morning on my way to work. She could spend the time with me as it is a holiday there and her children were sleeping. That is the only time I can chat with her. She is married now with two beautiful children. I am proud of her. She is my guardian angel if you forget. I have told you about her before. She is a friend whom I would say reliable. She has a vast general knowledge and you can speak to her about anything under the sky. She is understanding and very patient with my temper. If I were to make her my girlfriend, she would have accepted it last time because I knew how she feels towards me. I did not as I was still with Infinity. She knew about it. I turned to her when I was down and I still do until today. She hears and listens to me. I swear I would cry if she is gone. She is the kind of friend who knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails. You do not have to meet everyday or talk daily but will still remain friends because true friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

She told me that the bazaar ramadan in subang is now in USJ3 where I used to live and how it reminds her of me when she goes there. I knew how she feels because memories are difficult to erase. Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes. When you walk down the memory lane, it will bring you to the memories you have with someone you are fond of. No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth. Everytime I text her, she would ask if I am in Subang because she knows how much I love Subang Jaya. If I were to come back, I would live there again.

I told her I would come back when my savings reach rm100k. She asked how far do I have to go, I said very far. She told me to stop shopping and focus on my savings so I could come back quickly and we both laughed. I told her to pray for me hard so it can become a reality. She asked what would I do if I come back. I told her perhaps I would open a restaurant or something. She is excited and said she will help me plan. That is the thing about Pumpkin. Always helpful without any expectations. I can be like that towards my friends because I know the kind of love I have for them is different than the kind of love I have for someone I want to make mine. Get what I mean Diary? She knows how I am and I do not have to pretend when I am with her. I wish I could be like this with everybody else. I wish I could take rejections calmly. I wish my heart is not as sensitive as it is. 

That is my ultimate goal now; to reach RM100K. I have started my savings blueprint and I will follow it. I am ¼ at it now and I still have ¾ to meet. With the current exchange rate, I believe I can. I am hoping for big fat bonusses to boost my savings. I cannot wait Diary. I cannot wait. I am going to cut on my expenses, save whatever I can, have side income, do more charity, work overtime if I can and focus myself on it. I need to do it so I can be happy again. I know I will be happy there. I can feel her there although she is no longer there. Subang Jaya USJ…it is full of memories. Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose but sometimes you have to lose it to heal.