Missing Monday

dear diary, i have been thinking about little sister and i hope she is fine. she sent me an email last night and it made me realised how life has affected some of us. we often think that we are the unlucky and the unfortunate ones but we fail to see that there are many others who are more unfortunate. we often overlook our happy lives with the little miseries we have had. the email little sister wrote was an eye opener and i just realised that life is not so bad after all. we lost and we gain, we walk, we stumble and we fall but we got back up on our feet and continue our life journey. we laugh and we cry and we dry our tears and laugh again. little sister has shown me courage and strength like no one else ever did. she has been the bravest of hearts that i have come across. i wish that i were there to give her a hug so that she knows i care. i love her and i hope she knows how much she means to me.

i still think of my brother and how he was when he was still alive. sometimes, i still can't believe that he is gone forever. it is hard to believe when you have been living under the same roof together for more than 20 years. i am still angry over his death but there is nothing that i can do about it. it's hard to explain what i am feeling for him. i miss him so much. i have learnt to recognise the characters of Jawi and i am going to learn how to read the Quran so that i can read for him. i am looking for someone who can teach me how to read. it's hard to find but i am not giving up. i still think that i have done my brother many wrongs and i am doing all i could to make it up to him even after he is dead. i want to do a good deed for him. i know that i have not been nice to him but i am only human. for all the wrongs that i have done to him, one thing for sure is i love him till the end of time.