i saw them all

dear diary,

coming back home seemed to be so difficult to do after being in a place where i feel my heart belongs. it's so hard to leave KL and all my beloved friends whom i have considered to be a part of my family. i am glad that i managed to meet all if not almost all my good friends. both of us made an effort to meet and i guessed that's the recipe for a good friendship. there were only two new people i met and i enjoyed their company very much. it's a bit awkward to meet for the first time but after having so many experiences meeting people i know online, it seems so easy to tackle the awkward feelings. we talked about so many stuffs, so many issues, life, love, religion, studies, habits and love. i went to the colleges that is in my list of preferences. my friends brought me there and i took a look at them. some impressed me but some did not, however i am still keeping my options open and i will decide when the time comes. i just need to get few paper works done and make few enquiries pertaining to my studies.

i could have met more people but i chose to spend more time with kiddo. i was supposed to meet chicken pie in the evening on tuesday after i met kiddo but i cancelled the plan as i didn't feel like meeting. i was tired and sleepy and i knew i needed a rest so i thought to go straight back to my apartment after meeting up with kiddo but i ended up going back at 3 in the morning. so much for needing an early sleep. i had a great time with kiddo cos in the hours i was with her, i got to meet 2 other of my friends. we had dinner and they brought me to some pool club. i didn't play a single game! pool never interest me probably because i didn't know how to play and i never bothered to learn. it's just not my cup of tea. i prefer bowling than pool cos it's more fun and exciting and many get to play in one game.

i think none of them prefers bowling than pool, i noticed that pool is the number one choice among yuppies in Malaysia. even the most decent looking yuppies know how to hit the ball with the cue. i was never exposed to pool when i was growing up, perhaps i do not mingle with people who frequent pool clubs often so pool is nothing to me. i sat and just watched them play. i got a bit uncomfortable along the way but i managed to stay cool. i met up with pringles for a short while in the pool club, she came and i greeted her. she said i looked different with my hair so short like that. i smiled at her and she smiled back.

she said that i have lost weight, in fact, everybody said that i have lost weight, i didn't think so but most probably they were right. pringles was soft as usual, very soft spoken and warm. i think if i were to fall for her, it would be because of her warmth and softness. i have met pringles for a few times and i have always been moderately comfortable with her. i also met big sister during the hours i was with kiddo. big sister looked nice and sweet. she was shy to see me in the first place, she told me she has put on weight. i did't care about all that, all i wanted was to meet her.

we spent quite a bit of time together. she asked me quite a number of times if i was attached. everytime she asked i answered honestly but she seemed not to believe and kept on asking me. big sister and i had something going on before but it was only for a short while. i was just a girl away from home and wanted to have some fun. she came along and we got too comfortable with each other. after that, we decided to settle for sisterhood relationship. it is good though to meet her after awhile, we didn't talk much, perhaps there were others around and we couldn't talk about old times.

i met up with wira and she brought me to uptown. we had fried carrot cake and fried oysters. they tasted so good but i was really full when we got there. i brought ashwarya to meet wira and she and i had dinner before that at DOMES cafe in KLCC. i was dissapointed with how the food at domes tasted like. we ordered ceasar salad and mushroom soup. the ceasar salad did not even come close to tasting average and the mushroom soup tasted like plain flour with mushroom in it. it's so unbelievable. we went to the night market at uptown after supper and i saw many interesting stuffs on sale there.

i didn't buy anything as i thought they are just the same as in singapore only that their imitation products look almost 100 percent original. i never went for a shopping spree in KL. i just find that i have had everything and don't need anymore shopping to do unless it's an emergency. i had a great time in KL. it is a lucky thing that i visited buddy in the hospital on tuesday noon. i saw my god daughter and yes, she is going to be a pretty girl when she grows up. she has fair skin and slit eyes a little. she has chinese looks and i think if i were to carry her in my arms, people would believe that she's my daughter. buddy gave her a name which i hated very much that i couldn't be bothered to remember it.

i didn't plan to visit buddy on tuesday but since i had nothing to do and no appointment then, i decided to pay her a visit. it was a good move as i did not come to KL on thursday from genting. my resort was at awana and it's difficult to get to KL. i had to be with the group cos i can say that i have become dependent on them for transport. my holiday in genting was bad and ugly. there were many incidents that happened which were too much. they were all unacceptables and despicable that i couldn't even write it down here. it's so thoughtless and shameless of them to do that. all i can say is that they are two shameless, low moral, selfish people that i have ever come across. their attitude at that age is unimaginable and unbelievable.

you know what diary, i received an email from little sister. it's good to receive such an email from someone dear after you come back from a holiday. it's very refreshing and rejuvenating. i was surprised and happy but i wonder how come there are something different about the email. i am not sure what but there are things that did not look usual in that email. i hope little sister can explain that to me. i miss her so much and i wish i could meet her. i just want to take a look at her. see how does my little sister look like, see her facial expressions and watch her in front of me. i don't know if i ever will get a chance to do that. the chances seem far and distant. i am hoping but i am not counting on it. she told me she needs some time on her own. i can understand that. i just hope she is happy wherever she is and may she be blessed with good health and an everlasting love.

kiddo asked me about some things which seemed all too familiar. i explained to her about it and told her the truth and nothing but the truth. i didn't want to hide anymore truth from her and didn't want to tell a one sided story that makes me sound like an angel when i am not. i thought that this story has been stocked up in the archive but what kiddo asked me proved that this story is not going to be archived until everyone involved stop talking about it. i have stopped talking about it but i don't think the rest of the people involved have. sometimes i wonder when will they ever stopped talking?

enough said and done seemed not to be applicable in their dictionary. i have made some mistakes but it's only the mistakes that they remember. i just knew that the ugly orang utan has got something to do with what the ugly les talked to me about. it is a coincidence too good to be true and i knew someone else was behind it. i didn't give a fuck and i didn't give a damn. as far as i am concern the trio whom i called the bermuda triangle deserves nothing from me. i do not wish to get involved with unhealthy people anymore. it makes me sick to the extent that i think i am a walking disease.

they are the toxic ones who brought so many diseases and illnesses into my life. they polluted my life with so many wastes that i get suffocated with my own breath. staying away from them is good and i have never felt so free, clean and healthy before. i guess that's the only thing for us to do isn't it? we try to make peace but if we are unsuccessful, then staying away is the best option. it's funny to know that the game is not over when you think it's over. there are always some one who doesn't want to stop playing it. it can be sickening, annoying and irritating till the extent that if one is not strong enough, it can do an utter disruption to oneself.

i did not meet corn pie at all. can you believe that? after all those talk and after all those arrangements made, we didn't even meet for a second. it was difficult cos i was already turned off by her and the date and time i reserved for her had to be sacrificed by something else. she called me at the wrong time and vice versa. i couldn't move around much cos i was always with the company of my friends. somehow, she has to come to me if she wants to meet me or come to a place which is convenient for me. we had a couple of chances to meet but circusmtances did not allow us to meet. it was such a waste actually, cos all these while it was she who has been hoping and waiting for my arrival to KL and in the end did not even get to meet me. i felt sorry for her and i hope i can make it up to her one day.