Dear Diary,
.
I woke up at nine in the morning today feeling very hungry and feverish. I have come down with fever for two days now and it is still not going away. I took my medicine last night after dinner and I felt better after that. My head feels so heavy now that I think it can just topple off my body. When I walked, I had to hold my head so that I won’t feel the excruciating pain that is pounding on my head. Why is it so bad this time? I think I have been depriving myself from sleep lately and thus the bad headache. I am sure I haven’t been thinking a lot, it is just the lack of sleep that is making me dizzy all the time.
.
I have not eaten Diary, and I am so hungry now that I think I can eat a horse. All these talk about being hungry and eating a horse reminds me of flying babe. When I was courting her, every time I told her I am eating, she will for all time tells me to eat for her as well. This reflection about her makes me smile bringing me back to the time when she and I were once lovable. I wished that I hadn’t make her mine so we could still be friends right now and enjoy the intimate friendship we once had.
.
I have not written to her since the last letters she received. I guess I have other things that have been keeping my self busy lately. When I was alone and by myself, I looked back and reminisce at my life. I didn’t have any partner and I do things mostly alone but I didn’t feel lonely at all. Not once in my life I have ever felt lonely in Singapore. I paused and reflect hard, it was probably because I had my family with me and I always had something to do every time I came back home. One thing for sure, I did not come home to an empty home, I came home to my family. My parents were always there to greet me and dinner was always served on time. I didn’t have to look for dinner myself. Apart from the families, there were Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat. Do you remember them Diary? They are our extended family members that do not only come with skin but with fur, hair and four legs as well.
.
Every time I came back home, I had dinner served for me, my family was there, the extended family members were there, I had a television with cable networks in my room and like those were not enough, I had my desktop and laptop with wireless internet connection at home, in my room. Do you see where am I taking you Diary? I am trying to tell you that those are the things that help me not to feel lonely or bored at home while I was in Singapore. I think, I may be able to have some of those stuffs back at my home in Subang to avoid the feeling of lonesomeness. Perhaps I can work something out now that I am back to living alone.
.
I may not be able to have my family at home in Subang, but I can have the extended families here with me, subscribe to Astro and continue my subscription to Maxis Broadband and probably, buy stocks of food to keep at home so I can have dinner anytime I want whenever I am home. But of course I do have to bear I mind that Astro is only working when it is sunny and it is hopeless when it is raining since I have gotten so used to the excellent service of Singapore Cable Vision come rain or shine, I might want to constantly remind myself about that.
.
I will probably buy a kitten or just adopt a cat to continue the tradition of my family of family extension. I believe that will do me good in the long run except that I must make sure if I fall in love again, she must be a cat lover so that I won’t be having trouble trying to juggle between my extended family and her. I had a kitten last time Diary, and I named her Hang Kasturi. Infinity is not a cat lover and there were some conflicts of interest that I had to handle when we stayed together. I guess, love always will prevail between anything else. I had to let go of Kasturi and I still wonder how she is doing now. Thinking back, I have done quite a lot just to make Infinity happy and comfortable at the expense of my own inner feelings. That is why Diary, I have constantly told you how Infinity fails to take care of my soul. She may provide me with all the conveniences but deep down inside, she fails to see that it is true understanding that I am asking for.
.
Oh Diary, my heart has just sunk a further centimeter down under…blup..blup…blup….
.
I woke up at nine in the morning today feeling very hungry and feverish. I have come down with fever for two days now and it is still not going away. I took my medicine last night after dinner and I felt better after that. My head feels so heavy now that I think it can just topple off my body. When I walked, I had to hold my head so that I won’t feel the excruciating pain that is pounding on my head. Why is it so bad this time? I think I have been depriving myself from sleep lately and thus the bad headache. I am sure I haven’t been thinking a lot, it is just the lack of sleep that is making me dizzy all the time.
.
I have not eaten Diary, and I am so hungry now that I think I can eat a horse. All these talk about being hungry and eating a horse reminds me of flying babe. When I was courting her, every time I told her I am eating, she will for all time tells me to eat for her as well. This reflection about her makes me smile bringing me back to the time when she and I were once lovable. I wished that I hadn’t make her mine so we could still be friends right now and enjoy the intimate friendship we once had.
.
I have not written to her since the last letters she received. I guess I have other things that have been keeping my self busy lately. When I was alone and by myself, I looked back and reminisce at my life. I didn’t have any partner and I do things mostly alone but I didn’t feel lonely at all. Not once in my life I have ever felt lonely in Singapore. I paused and reflect hard, it was probably because I had my family with me and I always had something to do every time I came back home. One thing for sure, I did not come home to an empty home, I came home to my family. My parents were always there to greet me and dinner was always served on time. I didn’t have to look for dinner myself. Apart from the families, there were Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat. Do you remember them Diary? They are our extended family members that do not only come with skin but with fur, hair and four legs as well.
.
Every time I came back home, I had dinner served for me, my family was there, the extended family members were there, I had a television with cable networks in my room and like those were not enough, I had my desktop and laptop with wireless internet connection at home, in my room. Do you see where am I taking you Diary? I am trying to tell you that those are the things that help me not to feel lonely or bored at home while I was in Singapore. I think, I may be able to have some of those stuffs back at my home in Subang to avoid the feeling of lonesomeness. Perhaps I can work something out now that I am back to living alone.
.
I may not be able to have my family at home in Subang, but I can have the extended families here with me, subscribe to Astro and continue my subscription to Maxis Broadband and probably, buy stocks of food to keep at home so I can have dinner anytime I want whenever I am home. But of course I do have to bear I mind that Astro is only working when it is sunny and it is hopeless when it is raining since I have gotten so used to the excellent service of Singapore Cable Vision come rain or shine, I might want to constantly remind myself about that.
.
I will probably buy a kitten or just adopt a cat to continue the tradition of my family of family extension. I believe that will do me good in the long run except that I must make sure if I fall in love again, she must be a cat lover so that I won’t be having trouble trying to juggle between my extended family and her. I had a kitten last time Diary, and I named her Hang Kasturi. Infinity is not a cat lover and there were some conflicts of interest that I had to handle when we stayed together. I guess, love always will prevail between anything else. I had to let go of Kasturi and I still wonder how she is doing now. Thinking back, I have done quite a lot just to make Infinity happy and comfortable at the expense of my own inner feelings. That is why Diary, I have constantly told you how Infinity fails to take care of my soul. She may provide me with all the conveniences but deep down inside, she fails to see that it is true understanding that I am asking for.
.
Oh Diary, my heart has just sunk a further centimeter down under…blup..blup…blup….
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