dear diary, i wore my new levis today and i noticed that it expands after a few hours of wearing. it doesn't expand that much but still it expands though. i know that they expand a little after wear so i made it a point to wear only once after wash doesn't matter if it's top or bottom. anyway i have always had the habit cos i don't want to smell or itch.
you know what diary, i have known some people who wear their clothes more than once after wash and sometimes, these people have naturally bad body odour and when they stand or sit close to me, it stinks. i cannot help it but nobody likes stinky fellow. it is all about hygine isn't it? you don't have to look good, you just have to be smart, tidy and neat. take care of our outlook moderately and pay attention to neatness and tidiness.
i remember when i was in primary school. i was in the morning session and i still remember how some students did not look like they had taken their shower. their face were oily, their hair were unevenly spiky courtesy of the good night's sleep, they still had some dry stain of their drool at the sides of their mouth, their school uniforms were not ironed and worse af all they smelled horrible. you need not get near them, just wait for the wind to blow in your direction and you can smell them from a distance.
i was very unlucky to be sitted next to this kid who was taller and bigger than me. he was fat and he was extremely untidy and believe me, he sure smelled. i cannot do anything if he was not interested in personal hygiene but what bothered me most about him is that he had this certain sound everytime he breathed in. you know, those kind of sound people make if they have running nose, like a pig breathing in. yeah, that's it. i had to tolerate with that for one solid year because he was my partner and i am sure i heard that noise for the whole year everytime he breathed in. i had always thought there was something wrong with his breathing system or maybe his breathing technique but i kept it to myself because i lacked scientific evidence to break the news to him. i couldn't tell him anything if i am not sure of myself because remembering how fat and smelly he was, i wouldn't want my face to be caught in between his armpits and flabby arms. i could have suffocated to death and so i just kept my humble opinion to myself. i never fail to wonder if Health Education in school did help him to make any progress on his personal hygiene.
when i moved to secondary school, i thought that with the age and after 6 years of Health Education in primary school, kids my age were a little sensitive and aware of their outlook and body odour. i did not see many teenagers which have the unhygienic image in my school. however, when i attended the flag raising ceremony, a friend to my left might have forgotten to brush her teeth every morning and up till today i wondered if she ever realised how i suffered having to breath in all her smelly toxic breathe whenever we sang the National Anthem or the time when she talked to me. to add on to my misery, another friend on my left seemed to be sharing the same habit with my friend on the right. believe me, i would trade anything to have my position changed with anybody at that time. life sure is tough...
it was so unbelievable that people can ignore their personal hygiene to that extent. it's a turn off to be welcomed by these ugly sights and smell when you go to school to learn and study. i am glad that i do not have to relive that experience anymore. nevertheless, those smelly and untidy people deserve my salute for making me aware of my own hygiene and outlook till today. i still feel that i owe them a thank you or something at least because i know without them, i would never have realised how smelly and untidy we can be to the eyes of the public when we fail to take care of our most crucial property; our hygiene.
i bought 2 curry puffs today for lunch but i was not very hungry and i knew i could wait till dinner. i gave the curry puffs away to the cleaner and she was so thankful to me. i just thought what i did was nothing but perhaps to a needy person like her, it really means a lot. she has often told me of how she still has to work to make ends meet even when she is 64 years old now. she has a son who doesn't live with her and hardly acknowledges her as his mother. she has nobody to depend on. i listen to her stories attentively. i listen to her predicaments with sympathy. this is what will happen to me if i do not plan my retirement carefully. this is what will happen to me if i do not have enough savings for retirement. i try to help her whenever i can. i buy her food and i talk to her. i have become her friend and someone whom she talks to whenever she's down. i hope that she will be blessed with good health always.
mum called me and asked if i am fasting today. i can't cos i still have the cough and my throat is dry. i had planned to fast yesterday but the cough was bad. i hope i can start fasting tomorrow cos Ramadan is coming. we are not going to celebrate Syawal like the years before. it is just going to be simple and moderate. the cemetery might be our first place to visit this year. well, i don't mind cos i don't intend to celebrate it grandly this year either. the death in our family is still being felt and i guess this year's Syawal will be the saddest Syawal we have ever had. every family is growing bigger but my family is growing smaller with one less person. none of my siblings are married even when we have reached the ideal age for marriage.
the house has only four people now excluding my youngest brother. i never regard him to be part of the family probably because he has never stayed with us under one foor for more than a month. furthermore, he's attached closely to my dad's relative and hardly recognise relatives on my mum's side. it's just too complicated to tell. i feel so detached with him. i knew he was not given away but he was taken away without my mum's permission. up till now, i still feel angry with what had happen. they took my flesh and blood without asking, spoilt him and turned him into a brat!! there are so many things that i am angry about, they took away my brother when i was young and now i have lost another brother for real. all those moronic bastards should burn in hell. please pardon me for my language because i am so pissed right now. i am just so pissed...
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