Things have gone pretty good for me. I cannot say that I have done well but I have been busy with work. I am marketing my house now and I have many viewings appointments lately. That helps to keep me busy and stop me from thinking about things that can make me lose my focus. I have had 7 viewings and out of the seven only 2 have made an offer to my house. I rejected the offer because I did not agree with the price and conditions. I felt like I am in control now since the listing is mine and I am the exclusive agent. Well, yes it is my own house but at least from this experience it gives me the feel of how it feels like to be an exclusive agent for a property.
I have done my database and yes I had to use mum's laptop. I guess I just had to be practical and put away my habit or principles at times. You know how I hate to use other people's belongings don't you Diary? In this case, I have to and there is no shame about it. I have to do my work to move forward. Oh, I have not told you that mum bought a new laptop. Yes she did but she hardly uses it and I guess she bought it in the pretext that she needed to use but knowing mum I knew she bought it because of me. She knew I would have said no if she had been honest about it so she made excuses like that when I knew her job does not require her to use a laptop. Well, that's what all mothers do. They are willing to sacrifice and toiled for the children but it is a shame how we children cannot do the same for our mothers.
My job has been easier with the new laptop. I have created many worksheets to monitor my progress and I can see clearly now how much I have progress and did. It is no wonder why my Manager told me that I am slow. Well, Diary after all the worksheets I have created, I can see that I have to pull up my socks and have more activities for my work. I have started to realise that having worksheets for my job gives me the big picture of what I have to do. I even created a time-table worksheet for my job and see how much work I have done. It is good to be able to see everything in detail.
I spent the whole day on Tuesday and Wednesday creating the worksheets and filled up the information. I added some colours and motivational quotes in it just to keep myself in high spirit. Sales job is never easy Diary especially one with no basic salary. You have to constantly motivate yourself so that you will not lose steam because humans are simply humans.
I dreamt a couple of times about my life lately. In the dreams I kind of get the message but I just don't know if I want to change about it all. All I am saying is, we need to be by ourselves sometimes away from the crowd. However we do it, we have to be on our own occasionally. I am doing it now. I am taking a break from the crowds. I am rebuilding my life here and it is going to take some time. I need the time to progress. I miss a few of my friends but I always believe I have to do what I have to do.
I received a text message from Flying Babe at 4 am in the morning yesterday. She must have been up that early to fly to somewhere. I am assuming that she is not getting any leave from work during Aidilfitri. You know, I have deleted most of her text messages from my phone. I think that is the right thing to do. I am allowing her to move on and I cannot let myself be wrapped all over again with the memories I have had with her. I do not want to anymore. I am just so tired of everything now Diary. I just want to work and improve the qualities of my life. I am getting there I know, and I need to focus.
Dark Chocolate once told me that she never saves text messages from anybody because she hates the idea of having many memories stored in her mobile phone. The memories, sad or happy will eventually bring miseries, she told me. She may be right and I am following her advice.
Selamat Hari Raya Diary...I am helping mum to cook later....I cannot wait for the feast to begin...
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