I spent my time on the eve of Aidilfitri helping mum to cook. We had about 6 dishes to prepare for the big day and I honestly cannot wait for the cooking session to be over. The thing about cooking with mum is, I have to tolerate many things that I simply hate. You see, mum is quite a messy cook, when she cooks for 5, it seems like she is cooking for 50 pax and you can imagine the mess she will make whenever she cooks.
I cannot stand messiness and I have almost zero tolerance to untidiness. I was like the kitchen police when I was helping her only that I cannot nag at her untidiness because she is the main cook. I had to be very quiet about it and it was killing me softly inside. I cannot comprehend why some people can be very horrendously untidy in the kitchen. There are many times when I almost lost my temper looking at the untidiness she created but I always kept my cool since she is the mother. So what I did on the eve of Aidilfitri was to clean and tidy up the kitchen while she cooked. There was a couple of times when I felt like leaving the kitchen all to herself but I knew that was a bad idea. I do not want to have a bad relationship with my mother on Aidilfitri.
Whatever she said, I nodded my head and even at times when she scolded me for not being efficient in the kitchen, I remained quiet. I supposed I have learnt a lot living with her under the same roof. If she scolds, I just ignore it. It works actually, only that I must not take it to heart. But being the most sensitive person in the family, how can I not? I am so bloody sensitive that even a 5 year old kid can hurt my feelings. Darn...!!
I wish I could be more like my eldest brother. He can be so oblivious to the environment surrounding him and be so uninhibited at all. Mum had to change her menu because some of the ingredients were missing. Well you see, 3 days before dad bought this giant fridge for mum because mum has been complaining about the existing fridge being too small for the family. So when the new fridge arrived, I transferred the everything from the old fridge to the new one. When I did that, it was only natural for me to clean and organise the fridge as well right? So I threw a couple of things that I thought mum wouldn't need. But I swear I did not throw the missing ingredients. So there we were, searching high and low for the missing ingredients delaying the cooking process and also spoiling the mood because mum was really upset and she lost her temper. Now you know where I got my temper don't you Diary?
Mum has this ferocious temper that even I am afraid of it untill today. But being an adult myself and sharing the same kind of temper, I have always ignored the fact that I am still afraid of her temper. *Chuckles* I call her 'dragon' and I always chuckle to myself when I think about it. So without the missing ingredients, mum had to change her menu and I merely agreed. What else can I do? Go to the market and find the ingredients? It was the eve of Aidilfitri and most markets and shops were closed. I never open my mouth and speak while I was in the kitchen because I knew that would worsen things. Having two hot tempered women in the kitchen, that is almost like being in hell's kitchen. *grins* We moved on from the search and progressed with the cooking.
It seemed like forever for the session to be over because we started cooking late. Mum only finished work at half past 2 in the afternoon and therefore we we a bit behind schedule. I prepared the ingredients in the morning and I boiled the ketupat all ready for the big day. I have never fancied Aidilfitri anymore like how I used to when I was small. I don't know what has gotten into me but since the death of my brother, I honestly have lost the excitement I once had for it. I prefer Ramadan than Syawal and I prefer the quiet moments I can have to myself during Ramadan instead of the noisy and loud Syawal.
I never like Syawal as much as I did. With all the cleaning, cooking, visitings and house visits I have to do, it really make me feel so tired of them all. Yes, it is a once a year thing but the preparation I have to do for it is like a collection of a year's work to do in a month! Perhaps I am in my early thirties and I am not married with no stable income yet and almost no career. That is probably the reason why I simply hate Syawal. You see, people will come and visit and they will surely ask about me. The aunties and uncles and cousins, being nosy will ask as many questions as they like and instantaneously that makes me feel like shovelling up an extra large cucumber up into their stinking mouth and push it down to their slimy throat!!
I am not really into the mood of celebrating Aidilfitri this year. I am so tired of things. I just want to work and work ignoring my social responsibilities until I have finally got what I want. I am on the verge of being almost aloof to friends and acquaintances. At this point of time, I want to be alone by myself. I hate people nowadays. I think I need to see a shrink soon but I will ignore the idea.
Oh well, anyway we managed to cook all the dishes as planned and at the end of the day, everybody sat at the dining table and after a little prayer, eating the good food mum had prepared. It was good after a chaotic session in the kitchen.
Ok Diary, I got to go. Catch you some other time. I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment