She Will Always Be Beautiful

Dear Diary,

My spirit is up and I am feeling so much different this morning when I woke up. I think I know why but I am not sure if it is true. I spoke my mind last night and I let it all out. I never planned for it to happen. It just happened spontaneously. I swear it was not in my agenda. Beautiful was being herself, soft, cool and simply sophisticated. I never mentioned about her to you before. Perhaps I have told stories about her but I never mentioned her name. She is Beautiful and there is just something about her that makes me go…errmmm.

I have read somewhere that says, a joy shared is double joy, a sorrow shared is half a sorrow. When I let it all out last night, I felt some weight is off my chest. I breathe freely now. I did not hide anything from her and the truth was all I gave her.

I am not sure if you ever felt like how I feel now. This feeling I am feeling is beyond description. I don’t even know how to talk about it. For all the time I have written to you, I am suddenly at a loss for words and expressions to describe what I am feeling now.

I supposed to heal one soul is to accept the truth about the situations that caused the pain. Have I accepted the truth about it? Maybe I have and that is probably the reason why I am feeling differently about it all. I can never have her and that’s the truth. No matter how painful the truth is but if you taught yourself to accept it then the pain will become less painful. I feel less pain in my heart now and I am ready to embrace the new changes in my life.

I have liked her before and I think I will like her still. I adore her personality. It makes me feel so at ease when I talk to her. The crispness of her voice reminds me that care exist in everyone of us. She could probably be the one that taught me how fortunate it is to find someone to care in the midst of my adversities. I should be thankful that someone like that exists in my life for she has somehow managed to bring back the smiles in my heart.

I have realized that to love somebody is a thing worth doing when we do not expect anything in return. We do not have a choice about it because love happens spontaneously and who are we to prevent it from happening when it is the heart that matters? I have come to terms with it. Regardless of the situations, I can only teach my heart to be contented, to be happy, to be honest with what I feel even if I knew I would never have what my heart desires. We cannot have our cake and eat it.

I am a calmer person now. Beautiful has probably swept my heart away with just her personality. Even so, I have told myself that people come and go in my life. Whoever it is, I shall just be delighted about it because I may not have the power to stop my heart from feeling what it wants to feel but I do have the power to choose what to do. I want to be calm in whatever I do and feel serenity in any situations I am in.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated with the involvement of what the heart feels. It is not really easy to make things clear and we thought that we can make it simple by simple living. The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn't simple after all. After all what I feel, I believe the best things in life are nearest: Breath in my nostrils, light in my eyes, flowers at my feet, duties at my hand, the path of right just before me. I shall not try to grasp at the stars, but I will do life's plain common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. Those are my principles now. I want to fill my heart with gladness and kiss all my sadness and troubles away on my own.

She will always be Beautiful in my heart. I will write again Diary. Take care.