dear diary,
my weekend has been hectic as usual. it seems that it is going to go on like this for a couple of months until end of the year. saturday morning was spent doing the laundry, vacuuming and mopping the house. i cleaned the kitchen, the hall and the rooms. i left home early on saturday to go to the driving school to register for my practical lessons. i paid a lump sum of close to 720 bucks and my first lesson is this thursday for a simulator training. the car used for practice is honda civic and the driving centre is at Comfort. i went there with hulk and we went for lunch after that. it has really been a long time since i ate at Arnolds. the last time i ate there when i was 12 years old and the fastfood restaurant still exist till today.
they serve chicken and they taste so much better than KFC. we had a very quick lunch cos hulk needed to get to his workplace at 1.30 and by the time i finished with the enrollment it was 1250. we didn't eat in a hurry but it was a very quick lunch. hulk left for work and i went straight to darul arqam to check some books at their book shop. i needed to look for some islamic religious knowledge textbooks and i was so glad i managed to find them. i went straight to the prayer's room to perform zuhur and i took my time to say my prayers.
my quran class only starts at 230 so i had plenty of time. the surrounding was serene and i felt as if i was enveloped in tranquility. the quran class was fine and there were quite a few students absent. we are advancing to a further stage and i really have to practice more. the thing about me is i am a fast learner but i also am a forgetful one. i need constant practice to be able to read perfectly if not close to perfect. there are many characters that i must be able to identify especially after they have been written cursively or merged with other characters. ustaz told us to differentiate the characters from each other by looking at the dots first. i missed last week's lesson and i knew they had learnt 'sukun'. i was blur at the beginning of the lesson but i soon caught up with them since i now know what does 'sukun' means.
we are advancing to 'kasrah' and most probably we will reach 'Dammah' anytime soon. in my opinion, ustaz is a good teacher but i do wish he would slow down a bit. he is really moving at high speed with us and i have to admit i have difficulty catching up if i missed the lesson prior to the current one. nevertheless, he is a very patient man and i think we are all adults and we should practice on our own if we are poor instead of waiting for the teacher to spoonfeed us. you know diary, there is a girl in my class, i think she is in her mid or late 20's. she looks arab and perhaps she is a pakistani and i think she is a flight attendant. she absents too often but makes an effort to come and learn diligently when she is present. she is pretty, tall and sexy and when she comes into the class, all eyes will be looking at her cos i assumed students are mesmerized by her beauty even the ustaz is i think. i never talk to her because i never had the opportunity. there are not many interactions in the class among the students cos everybody mind their own business and furthermore this is not a full time class in school or an institution, therefore class interactions is minimal.
i must go to comfort driving school this saturday to register for my practical test and also apply for my PDL. looks like i have to spend more money and be ready to see that the statement for my bank account is shrinking this month. i might be going alone unless chicken pie does not cancell her plan and make it here on friday. we met online last night and she told me she might be coming and if she doesn't go to the cruise, she is free and asked if she's able to put up at my house. i really don't mind cos i will be alone anyway and traveller could not make it. i can make room for a guest over this weekend. i thought it was only her that's coming until she told me she might bring her cousin. i don't mind but i hope they can get comfortable with what i have to offer.
i really don't understand how chicken pie plans her holiday. she should be able to tell me if she is going for the cruise or not last night because i am sure bookings have to be made earlier, deposits should have been paid in advance and leave from work must be applied as well. it seems unusual for a person who is going for a cruise to be telling me that she's not sure if she's going or not when the boat is leaving this weekend. i didn't ask her much cos it just didn't occur to me at that time. i told her directly to confirm with me if she is coming over or not and if she is, how many is she bringing along so that i can make rooms for them. she always seem to be the one to cancell the plan and i make sure that i will not be too excited this time.
tentatively she told me she might arrive at midnight cos she will be taking the 6pm coach from kl to singapore, obviously she has to work on friday and this only enforces my thought of how funny and unlikely she plans her holiday. i told her that she might have to take the cab to my house if she arrives after midnight. i have no one to fetch her since everbody is not at home and the car is out as well. the cab would be expensive if she takes after midnight, after midnight surcharge is included, it would be about 20-30 dollars and that is definitely very expensive in RM. i wish i had gotten my driving license already so i could fetch her from the checkpoint. my test date would probably be in july and if i pass at the first try, then i shall be able to drive by july this year.
my toe is at its worst diary. the bleeding doesn't stop and definitely the pain hasn't go away. the only treatment i give my toe is an hour of soaking with salt water and a few drops of dettol. the cut at the toe become soggy and it removes all the dried blood that's been clogging the cut. however, the wound is still open and this led to bleeding every night. it realy hurts and i cannot pray as usual. i have to pray like how my mum prays. i feel like i am becoming an old woman who needs to sit to perform the prayer. it tickles me and i am getting comfortable praying like that. the pain comes and goes and when it comes i feel like my toe is pounding. i have never experience something like this before, it hurts a lot. i hope it gets better soon cos i really miss skating and there's a long distance skating by skateline this saturday evening and i hope i can make it there if my toe gets well by then.
pizza called me and asked if i want to join them for dinner this thursday night. it's just going to be the girls and the boys are not coming. toothpick, extrovert, DHL and pizza will be there since asthma couldn't make it. i am a bit reluctant to go cos i never want to be in the group. i prefer to be an individual and i don't hang out much with them. they are all my cousins and cousins by marriage. i am neither distant nor close with them but i choose not to be very close with them. it's better that way so things will not be blown out of proportion cos we are family and if a little misunderstanding happens, things can get ugly for an indefinite period of time. i never had any problems with them and i would like to keep it that way.
i am closer with pizza and asthma cos we are cousins by blood and grew up together. the rest are all friends of pizza and it's just amazing how friends can turn to cousins. pizza really has a way of making people bond or perhaps it is just coincidence that two of her friends have joined our family thus pizza is inevitably closer to them than i am to them. i am not jealous since i have been close with pizza all my life but things have got rusty since she is married. furthermore, i notice that i have grown quiet with age and i have become anti-social a bit but it only happens with my relatives, i don't know why. probably because i am sad and always think it is unfair.
i have lost a brother and my family is not expanding. neither my brother and i are getting married and our family nucleus does not consists of new members for sure. pizza and asthma are siblings, both of them are married. my family is closer to theirs and everytime i look at their family i always feel that i need to do something to make my family grows. marriage seems to be so foreign to me and i don't think i will have flesh and blood from my own womb. i have plans of my own and adoption is the only answer if i want to have my own family when marriage is not in my agenda. however, i still have to complete my studies first before i am able to adopt. i am single minded about it and i love big families. don't be surprise if i am adopting 4 orphans and they are 2 boys and 2 girls.
actually, i have got their names ready and i hope i am allowed to live in this world longer so i can give the names to the kids and provide them with a home, care and love. and please God, lengthen my parent's lives too cos i know they are dying to have grandchildren they can call their own and if adopted grandchildren is what i can offer them, please let them love the kids like their own unconditonally.
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