I Am Sensitive

I Am Sensitive

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

let's get going with the license

dear diary,

i have to wait till saturday to apply for my PDL as the traffic police office closes at 5 daily and i cannot be there before 5. i have to be a morning person this saturday and get there before 12 to apply for my PDL and at the same time book my practical test. i might have to spend about 100 bucks for the registration fees. i hope the driving instructor has a slot for me to fill on sunday morning cos i want to get started with my practical once i get my PDL. I cannot afford to waste anymore time. i feel like i am in a race to get my license since almost all my cousins have got theirs.

a friend from KL is coming over and it looks like i have to make time to meet her. i sent her a sms to meet on friday evening. she's putting up at lion city hotel and i think i will take her dinner to hajah maimunah to have a taste of singapore malay food. hajah maimunah is a popular restaurant in geylang and it serves good and tasty food at reasonable price. the concept is fun and simple but the food sure taste excellent. one thing i like about hajah maimunah is, it has this 'be generous' policy towards their customers in all their staffs. the portion given to you is big and you will never feel cheated when eating there. be it from the dishes to snacks to deserts, you name it, it's like you can eat all you want.

the deserts is self service and you can take how much you want even if it reaches to the rim of the bowl. that's what i would say, good business etiquette. their business is thriving and people come non-stop and i assume it is all because of their generosity, sincerity and honesty in giving service to the people. i have a lot of respect for businesses like this. i am not religious but i have always believe, when you do business with sincerity, generosity, integrity and dignity, you will always be blessed by up above. it has been said that if we give away one to charity, we will be rewarded 10 times more than what we gave. hajah maimunah is a good place to eat and i will definitely bring her there. she has been here for a couple of times only i did not have the chance to meet cos of my tight schedule nowadays.

i really hope she will be able to make it cos i have an appointment with my insurance agent this thursday and i have to be at the driving school on saturday morning to apply for my PDL and i have my quran class in the afternoon after that. if she is not able to make it, then it looks like we have to meet some other time whenever she is here again. this time round, i have to meet her and bring her to dinner. i hope she can make it cos she is here for work and i don't know what's her schedule like. i am still waiting for her reply until then i shall reserved friday evening for her.

little sister is very quiet and i am sensing something that is not right. she was in trouble with herself and i sent her email scolding her. i guess it was a bit harsh and direct. i didn't sound mean but i knew i sounded firm and dissapointed with her. she replied me back and she was so sorry for what she did and she sounded very apologetic. she did mention she will tell her parents about what she did and i think she has done so now. her parents might be very worried and dissapointed with her too and she is probably not allowed to go online anymore.

geeess, i wish i had never said to her those stuffs. i wish i had never made her feel so bad and guilty about what she did. oh man, i am worried about her. i don't know what's going on with her. she might have gone back to sabah i think and could be under tight supervision by her parents. little sister, i am sorry to have put you into trouble, all i wanted was for you to stop doing the things you do. i just want you to be healthy that's all. ohh damn...i wish she would have taken her time before being too honest with her parents. i just wish she would have waited for my email before she does anything silly. i feel so sorry for her, sometimes i wish i were there so that i can take good care of her and advise her. she's so pampered you know, very adorable and sweet. she explained why she stopped calling me big sister, she had a crush on me cos i am too nice and kind to her. well, i am beginning to feel that being too kind and nice can be hazardous. but it's only a crush and crush usually doesn't last long. i miss her, i miss my little sister and i hope she is fine and in good condition. please take away all worries and sadness from her.

i received a sms from russia 5 days ago. it was short but sincere message. i replied her back, told her about the driving progress. sometimes i feel like going back to her but i am so afraid to hurt her again. she is a good person and someone i know i can depend on when i am in need. i wanted to ask her to come over my house this good friday since there's a holiday and my family is out. but i don't think it's a good idea, i don't know diary. i want her to come over and just stay here for the weekend but i am just so scared that we might get too carried away and i don't want her to think anything negative. it's very awkward now but i hope things will be back to normal without the intimacy involve.

traveller and i are chatting more often than before. she's always online nowadays and it is inevitable for us not to exchange news even for awhile. she's out of job and is looking for one but there is a restriction for her cos she has to be with her parents since most of her siblings have got married and moved out of the house. i understand how she feels and we have become close again and it makes me appreciate her for who and what she is. i wonder sometimes how would it be like if she and i are still together. it's so long ago, almost 8 years and we are still keeping in touch. i saw the change in her and perhaps she saw the change in me as well.

traveller is a good person and i never could once recall if she ever hurt my feelings when we were a thing. it was always i who hurt her. she was always tolerant of my nonsense while i was totally the opposite, easily angered at her slightest mistakes, always taking her love for granted. i hope she knows that i am sorry for being such a jackass while i was with her. i guess she's one of my buddies who could put up with my impatient, hot tempered stubborn attitude. i just realised that i have been overlooking the fact that traveller is one good friend i have been ignoring. i made a promise to myself that traveller will always have a place right here in my heart.

No comments:

Post a Comment