Mother, I Am Sorry...

Dear Diary,
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I am feeling a little disturbed today. I had a misunderstanding with mum just now over some petty issues. It was a small matter but i couldn't handle it well. I thought I could take it easy but too many things have happened to me, I was so stressed up and tense filled the air. I am overloaded with problems Diary. I am so pressured with so many unsolved issues and outstanding errands.

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it all started at dinner when mum asked me to take a ladle for one of the dishes she cooked. the thing about mum is, she has this attitude about using the right cooking utensils for the right purpose. you know how old traditional Malay women can get when it comes to the kitchen department don't you diary? yeah..sounds familiar? so i went to the kitchen to take the ladle but i couldn't find anything that best suit the situation at that time, so i took a ladle which was just a little too big for the bowl of dish. when i came to the dining hall and place the over sized ladle into the bowl, mum freaked out and told me off like as if i had done the sin of my lifetime. not only she told me off but she did it in her high pitch annoying voice. god, i hate it so much when she did that. it can easily drives me up the wall and if it were one of my friend who did that to me, i could just give that friend of mine a tight slap in the face till her face turns 360 degrees.

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i was so angry with her for being too particular about simple things like that. i have been brought up by her to be like that too and even how much i hate it, i have to tolerate and listen to her but this time i felt it was too much of her. we were just going to have dinner as a family, just myself, mum and dad. i couldn't understand what's the big deal over the right size of ladle. why couldn't she just give her rules a break sometime?

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i retaliated Diary, i couldn't control my temper and i snapped at her and i told her how i have become tired of her annoying rules and regulations in the kitchen. i was harsh, and you know how i am when i am pissed don't you? believe me Diary, that was the last thing i wanted to do to mum. i am writing to you with regret now. i skipped dinner because i was too angry to eat. i was hungry but i just starved myself. i can feel that my anger was building up that night and at that moment, all i could think of is flying babe...how i wish i could just pick up the phone and call her...I miss her so much...