Dear diary,
I have been sad almost everyday since December. Year 2008 had not been a good one for me. There were too many cases of hearts getting broken and sad stories. Everything happened after I walked away from infinity’s life. Things were not always on my side after I left her. It was such a painful break up, the hardest one that I have had to experience. I have been analyzing and thinking what was it about our relationship that made it the hardest break up ever for me. It really had an impact on me, an impact that I could never imagine, like a child who just lost his parents.
My relationship with infinity was the longest one out of all my previous relationships. It was the most special, trusting, sincere and pure. I felt so belonged to her when I was with her. There was nothing that I worried about when I was with her. There was nothing that I ever afraid of because I knew she was with me always. We were like twins, people thought of us as sisters with her being the eldest one. There was no place that she went without me around. Probably many of us have had this kind of relationship but to someone like me who has had 15 previous relationships, I honestly find that my relationship with her was the most special. It was my first of that kind. We lived under the same roof, ate from the same plate, drank from the same cup, slept in the same bed and showered in the same bathroom. The thing about infinity was how secured she made me feel just by being with her. Do you know that feeling Diary? She was always there for me, my strength when I was weak and my eyes when I couldn’t see. It is like I do not need anymore friends to keep me company because I have her every day of my life. She has become my flesh and blood by marriage even though that marriage is not recognized by anyone else except for people like us. She has become my soul mate, the only person I share my deepest thoughts and views, the only person I came back home to, the person that will be the first to know my sad and happy stories.
I have let her come into my world, I taught her my hobbies and I told her of my fantasies. We cried and we laughed together. We tolerated each other like there was no tomorrow. We teased each other and pampered one another because we knew we only have each other in our lives. We have touched each other’s hearts in our own special ways. We understood each other even when none of us are talking. It was so real the love we had for each other.
I have missed her so much until I suffocated. I have missed the smell of her hair, her sweat and her presence. If only I could let her know how regretful I am for walking away. It is too late now Diary. I am here all alone still standing, facing 2009 full of hopes for another taste of happiness and serenity. I am here now to pick up the pieces all by myself with some understanding from good close friends. I am learning how to walk again like a baby who has just graduated from his crawling days. I am not limping neither am I a crippled but it sure feel blessed to be able to learn how to walk again before I forget how.
I have been sad almost everyday since December. Year 2008 had not been a good one for me. There were too many cases of hearts getting broken and sad stories. Everything happened after I walked away from infinity’s life. Things were not always on my side after I left her. It was such a painful break up, the hardest one that I have had to experience. I have been analyzing and thinking what was it about our relationship that made it the hardest break up ever for me. It really had an impact on me, an impact that I could never imagine, like a child who just lost his parents.
My relationship with infinity was the longest one out of all my previous relationships. It was the most special, trusting, sincere and pure. I felt so belonged to her when I was with her. There was nothing that I worried about when I was with her. There was nothing that I ever afraid of because I knew she was with me always. We were like twins, people thought of us as sisters with her being the eldest one. There was no place that she went without me around. Probably many of us have had this kind of relationship but to someone like me who has had 15 previous relationships, I honestly find that my relationship with her was the most special. It was my first of that kind. We lived under the same roof, ate from the same plate, drank from the same cup, slept in the same bed and showered in the same bathroom. The thing about infinity was how secured she made me feel just by being with her. Do you know that feeling Diary? She was always there for me, my strength when I was weak and my eyes when I couldn’t see. It is like I do not need anymore friends to keep me company because I have her every day of my life. She has become my flesh and blood by marriage even though that marriage is not recognized by anyone else except for people like us. She has become my soul mate, the only person I share my deepest thoughts and views, the only person I came back home to, the person that will be the first to know my sad and happy stories.
I have let her come into my world, I taught her my hobbies and I told her of my fantasies. We cried and we laughed together. We tolerated each other like there was no tomorrow. We teased each other and pampered one another because we knew we only have each other in our lives. We have touched each other’s hearts in our own special ways. We understood each other even when none of us are talking. It was so real the love we had for each other.
I have missed her so much until I suffocated. I have missed the smell of her hair, her sweat and her presence. If only I could let her know how regretful I am for walking away. It is too late now Diary. I am here all alone still standing, facing 2009 full of hopes for another taste of happiness and serenity. I am here now to pick up the pieces all by myself with some understanding from good close friends. I am learning how to walk again like a baby who has just graduated from his crawling days. I am not limping neither am I a crippled but it sure feel blessed to be able to learn how to walk again before I forget how.
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