Dear Diary,
.
It was a tiring day today although there was not any work I did that requires physical strenuous movements of my muscles. I slept at six in the morning the night before and I woke up at ten in the morning today. I woke up feeling very tired mentally. You know how I have been thinking a lot about things lately don’t you Diary?
.
How has it been going for you? Is everything ok? I hope you are happy wherever you are Diary and I wish I am too. I went to fetch minah rempit last night. She got to LCCT at one in the morning and I got there half an hour after one. She had to wait a little longer. I was having my supper when she text and I knew it then that she really tried hard to keep her promise to me. You know what happened between she and I don’t you? She promised me she would return my stuffs and she did even though I did not get all of them back. She took five bottles of my perfume and I only got 1 back. My winter jacket was missing too and of course my money was gone, all of it. She is so dry now without any money to repay me back. I honestly do not know how I feel towards her. At times, I feel pitiful but at times I feel so furious with her.
.
When I saw her at the airport, I didn’t look her in the eye. I just couldn’t because I knew if I had look her in the eye, I would have bashed her to death instantly. Instead I look at her feet and I saw my shoes she was wearing and I noticed she wore my cap as well and my belt too. I knew she would still be wearing one or two of my stuffs to come back to Malaysia and I only expected my shoes but didn’t thought it would be more than that. I did tell her not to wear anymore of my stuffs and I thought she understood.
.
She looked anxious when she saw me, well who wouldn’t be after what happened? I tried very hard to keep my cool and to stay composed. I swear to God that I didn’t want to start in the car. It has to be done at home but I just couldn’t suppress my anger. This anger I have towards her has been snowballing and it is just waiting for the right time to explode. I would say that minah rempit was lucky because secret recipe was with me, so there was other person who would stop me from getting physical with her if I had.
.
I asked her seriously when she will be able to return me back my money. She was silent, probably she was thinking and no solutions came to her mind and so the silence continued which just pissed me off. I asked her again with my voice raised and she gave me an answer which was not satisfactory to me at all. I was being very demanding with her because I thought she deserved to be treated that way. I bombarded her with my harshest cruel remarks on the way home. It was really a moment of no mercy. I was letting go my anger slowly but cruelly to her. She was dead silent like a mouse hiding from a cat. I was this one very fierce cat waiting to claw this mouse without any feeling of compassion at all. I was pretty sure nothing and no one could have stopped me from hurting this one timid, lost and broken mouse. The anger in me gave me the energy to retaliate, provoke and to injure any living things on earth that would come between she and I.
.
The interrogation was on going in the car on our way home. She seemed so afraid and remorseful and I was beginning to feel bolder. She and I have this big-sister-small-sister relationship. I had the upper hand and I knew whatever I said to her, she couldn’t counter. She was helpless and had no way to run to. Her friends cast her away; her family seems to disown her. She was all alone with no one to turn to and seek help from. I felt sorry for her but when I think of the reasons she did what she did, I couldn’t bring myself to feel sympathetic towards her. It was probably because the anger was still inside me and I was not ready to forgive her.
.
When we reached home, I brought her into my room and I started another session of my interrogation. I abused her verbally like there was no tomorrow. She just sat there silent without saying anything to defend herself. At least she knew when she should be quiet. I asked her to call her family and ask if they could come up with the money she took from me. It was in vain. Her family just brushed her aside like she was not their flesh and blood.
.
Minah rempit was brought up by her grandmother, her parents were divorced a long time ago and her father is uncontactable. She grew up missing the attention and love a child needs from parents and most importantly she did not get adequate family conditioning. I know her family background and honestly, from my opinion she has nothing to be proud of about her family. It’s a broken family and it is nothing close to any other normal ordinary family. She has always been on her own, fixing her own problems without any help from her family. It is sad actually and she always depends on her partner to get love, care and attention. I should have known better.
.
After talking to her aunt, somehow her stupid but arrogant uncle gave me a call and asked about the commotion. It was four in the morning; I was tired, hungry and sleepy. I was pretty sure that I didn’t need unnecessary rubbish and shoddy talk. Her uncle seemed to try to sound clever but he obviously failed. Not only did he speak broken English but he was inarticulate as well. To tell you the truth, I had a difficulty understanding him and I felt like advising him to go back to school to improve his English first before talking to me. He kept implying that I shouldn’t have made the report since I have visited and met with her family. He also said that they treated me good when I visited them and by reading between the lines he meant to blame me for reporting the case to the police like as if I was the thief and his niece was the victim. I cut him off and told him that it is not about whether I have met or visited them but it is about my rights as a victim of theft. I have the privilege to make a police report.
.
My tone was harsh and serious and he got offended and began to curse me with his broken English that I was sure even he himself didn’t understand. I curse him ten times more and I said things to him that he would remember for the rest of his lives. He just pushed my button and he got a piece of my mind. That bastard deserved what I said. It was harsh Diary, very harsh till the extent I realized I shouldn’t have said I said but hey, a man got to do what a man got to do. I will and shall not entertain a low life uneducated bastard like him. With his attitude like that, it is really no surprise why his niece turn out the way she is.
.
It was a tiring day today although there was not any work I did that requires physical strenuous movements of my muscles. I slept at six in the morning the night before and I woke up at ten in the morning today. I woke up feeling very tired mentally. You know how I have been thinking a lot about things lately don’t you Diary?
.
How has it been going for you? Is everything ok? I hope you are happy wherever you are Diary and I wish I am too. I went to fetch minah rempit last night. She got to LCCT at one in the morning and I got there half an hour after one. She had to wait a little longer. I was having my supper when she text and I knew it then that she really tried hard to keep her promise to me. You know what happened between she and I don’t you? She promised me she would return my stuffs and she did even though I did not get all of them back. She took five bottles of my perfume and I only got 1 back. My winter jacket was missing too and of course my money was gone, all of it. She is so dry now without any money to repay me back. I honestly do not know how I feel towards her. At times, I feel pitiful but at times I feel so furious with her.
.
When I saw her at the airport, I didn’t look her in the eye. I just couldn’t because I knew if I had look her in the eye, I would have bashed her to death instantly. Instead I look at her feet and I saw my shoes she was wearing and I noticed she wore my cap as well and my belt too. I knew she would still be wearing one or two of my stuffs to come back to Malaysia and I only expected my shoes but didn’t thought it would be more than that. I did tell her not to wear anymore of my stuffs and I thought she understood.
.
She looked anxious when she saw me, well who wouldn’t be after what happened? I tried very hard to keep my cool and to stay composed. I swear to God that I didn’t want to start in the car. It has to be done at home but I just couldn’t suppress my anger. This anger I have towards her has been snowballing and it is just waiting for the right time to explode. I would say that minah rempit was lucky because secret recipe was with me, so there was other person who would stop me from getting physical with her if I had.
.
I asked her seriously when she will be able to return me back my money. She was silent, probably she was thinking and no solutions came to her mind and so the silence continued which just pissed me off. I asked her again with my voice raised and she gave me an answer which was not satisfactory to me at all. I was being very demanding with her because I thought she deserved to be treated that way. I bombarded her with my harshest cruel remarks on the way home. It was really a moment of no mercy. I was letting go my anger slowly but cruelly to her. She was dead silent like a mouse hiding from a cat. I was this one very fierce cat waiting to claw this mouse without any feeling of compassion at all. I was pretty sure nothing and no one could have stopped me from hurting this one timid, lost and broken mouse. The anger in me gave me the energy to retaliate, provoke and to injure any living things on earth that would come between she and I.
.
The interrogation was on going in the car on our way home. She seemed so afraid and remorseful and I was beginning to feel bolder. She and I have this big-sister-small-sister relationship. I had the upper hand and I knew whatever I said to her, she couldn’t counter. She was helpless and had no way to run to. Her friends cast her away; her family seems to disown her. She was all alone with no one to turn to and seek help from. I felt sorry for her but when I think of the reasons she did what she did, I couldn’t bring myself to feel sympathetic towards her. It was probably because the anger was still inside me and I was not ready to forgive her.
.
When we reached home, I brought her into my room and I started another session of my interrogation. I abused her verbally like there was no tomorrow. She just sat there silent without saying anything to defend herself. At least she knew when she should be quiet. I asked her to call her family and ask if they could come up with the money she took from me. It was in vain. Her family just brushed her aside like she was not their flesh and blood.
.
Minah rempit was brought up by her grandmother, her parents were divorced a long time ago and her father is uncontactable. She grew up missing the attention and love a child needs from parents and most importantly she did not get adequate family conditioning. I know her family background and honestly, from my opinion she has nothing to be proud of about her family. It’s a broken family and it is nothing close to any other normal ordinary family. She has always been on her own, fixing her own problems without any help from her family. It is sad actually and she always depends on her partner to get love, care and attention. I should have known better.
.
After talking to her aunt, somehow her stupid but arrogant uncle gave me a call and asked about the commotion. It was four in the morning; I was tired, hungry and sleepy. I was pretty sure that I didn’t need unnecessary rubbish and shoddy talk. Her uncle seemed to try to sound clever but he obviously failed. Not only did he speak broken English but he was inarticulate as well. To tell you the truth, I had a difficulty understanding him and I felt like advising him to go back to school to improve his English first before talking to me. He kept implying that I shouldn’t have made the report since I have visited and met with her family. He also said that they treated me good when I visited them and by reading between the lines he meant to blame me for reporting the case to the police like as if I was the thief and his niece was the victim. I cut him off and told him that it is not about whether I have met or visited them but it is about my rights as a victim of theft. I have the privilege to make a police report.
.
My tone was harsh and serious and he got offended and began to curse me with his broken English that I was sure even he himself didn’t understand. I curse him ten times more and I said things to him that he would remember for the rest of his lives. He just pushed my button and he got a piece of my mind. That bastard deserved what I said. It was harsh Diary, very harsh till the extent I realized I shouldn’t have said I said but hey, a man got to do what a man got to do. I will and shall not entertain a low life uneducated bastard like him. With his attitude like that, it is really no surprise why his niece turn out the way she is.
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