A Little Bit About My Old Self

Dear Diary,

I am fasting today. It is a habit I developed since a few years ago. I always make it a point to fast on Monday and Thursday whenever I can. I know I have to fast more days to qada all the days I did not fast in Ramadan during my younger days. I am also aware that I have to pay the Fidyah which I have not. I got to set aside some money to do so. 

I have not been a good Muslim when I was young. I skipped fasting during Ramadan and ate in front of the crowd in school. I did that on purpose because I was surrounded by friends of different faiths and races. I did not have Malay friends when I was in secondary school. My good friends were all non-Malays and that made me wild.

I ate pork, I drank and I did not really bother if what I ate was halal or not. It just did not occur to me the significance of it. I ate what I wanted and drank what I desired. I went to clubs and joined a secret society. I was a gangster. Telling you this story makes me laugh because I know the gangsters in Singapore are nothing compared to the gangsters in Malaysia. Gangster taik kucing, yeah, that was me. I am laughing so hard now I almost fell out of my chair.

I got to go Diary. I need to break my fast. I am going hiking tomorrow and have to leave mum alone at home until Monday. I am praying silently to keep mum safe at home until I come back.