Feeling Worry To Hike

Dear Diary,

I left my bank security tokens at home in Tangkak and I really do not feel comfortable about it. I need my tokens to do online transactions and I do online transactions a lot. I had reminded myself to put the tokens in my bag but I did not do it straight away. I let it pass when it crossed my mind and this is what happened. So, lesson learned always do immediately the things that crossed your mind and do not wait.

I will be in Tangkak again next week on Wednesday because I will be hiking that weekend. It seems to me that I hike every month or twice a month since I quit my job. It will be a 3 days 2 nights trip. I know only one of them from the group. I hiked with him once and we did not talk but he was friendly and always smiling at me. The thing I like about him is he was polite. Polite and courteous people always impress me. I suppose looks are secondary, what is important is manners.

I have packed my bag for the trip. I only need to double check on certain things. I am quite afraid about this trip because this mountain is not popular and when it is not popular, not many people climb it. This results in the tracks being covered by wild trees. I have heard that the tracks are graded as tough. I think most of the participants are strong. I am not sure if I can keep up with them. I am a little worried actually. I have not done difficult terrain in a while. I have been hiking regularly and I workout daily for 35 minutes but I am not sure if that suffices. I hope I will be fine. I am doing more on core workout. I do wall squats for 60 seconds at 5 repetitions daily. I think I need to do it twice a day, one in the morning and one in the evening.

I am afraid because I have hit rock bottom before when I hiked Chamah and Ulu Sepat. I was so unprepared and I underestimated the terrain. Furthermore, I had bad blisters on both feet. It was terrible and that was the first time I felt that I hated hiking so much. I spent 6 days in the jungle with 12 other teammates. I was all alone and I knew I was the weakest of all. It was probably because of the injury and also the discouraging words by my guide. Somehow I felt he disliked me and he said things that could break my spirit. I knew what he meant but I did not let it affect me. I knew I was alone and I only had to depend on myself. There was no turning back. We started at point A and we ended at point B so there was no way of turning back. The journey had to continue.

I persevered. I carried on. I only thought of my mother at that time. If I could just stand this pain for 6 days I could finish this trip. I kept telling myself that. I knew I was the weakest. It did not matter. I simply had to finish the journey with dignity and I did.

I supposed this time would be different. My spirit is a little higher than before. I know I have Nur Kasih to worry about me and I know she will be the booster for my endurance. I think of her and I feel happy. The thoughts of her lifted up my excitement. I know I will still survive no matter how hard it is.

PS: Faj saying Ein