Dear Diary,
I went to my office yesterday to collect my 12,500 pieces of A6 flyers and boy, were they heavy! I left home with mum and had breakfast with her first before taking the train to office. The journey to office was fast and easy but somehow I still miss my car. On Saturday before I left, I took a final look at her promising myself that I will come back for her again. I did not make any changes in the car. I left her as how she is. If an object like a car could talk, I wonder what she would say to me before I left because I bid her farewell on that day knowing that it could be the last time I see her again. I believe she will be in good hands. I knew Rolly Polly has a liking for my car and she will take good care of her even if she’s only leasing it for a year.
How do you do Diary? I believe it has been a few days I have not written. Have you been missing me like how I have missed you? I miss Subang Jaya and my car very much. I also miss the time I spent with Flying Babe. Things in Singapore are pretty much the same for me. I am going back to work on my career in real estate here. With the flyers, I supposed I can start doing door to door farming and hope to get some kind of encouraging results out of it. I have attached 1,200 pieces of the flyers with the latest transacted prices and I think I can do about 9 flats with that number of flyers.
I am targeting about 100 flats in my neighbourhood and it looks like I am going to be busy if I do it according to my plan diligently. Diary, I have to be honest that at times like this I wish I would have someone in my life where I could at least get a little moral support. I am really on my own now Diary. Is this what I really want? I do not know and I do not want to get all self pity about it. I am waiting for a moment where I can call it mine. Perhaps I must keep in touch with Traveller who spends all her time working almost to the extent of ignoring her friends. I do not know what has got into her but the last time I checked on her, she looked so haggard and old. I suppose that is the aftermath of overworking herself. She totally enveloped herself with work with little or no time for leisure at all.
When I saw her last week, I imagined myself in her shoes and it somewhat scared me to have a life like that. On the contrary, she spends all her time working that she hardly has time to reflect on what she has missed most about life, so that leaves her little time to get all sentimental and emotional. I wish I could do that but as a naturally sensitive person, it is rather unachievable. I am still struggling to face reality. It has not sunk in yet. I am still in the midst of settling down my senses. It is more than a culture shock I am experiencing. Things happened too fast for me. I am physically here but my heart is somewhere else. It takes sometimes to get my heart to where it really is. Perhaps my heart is lost and it is finding its way back home alone.
I feel so many emotions right now although I am not embracing each one of them. It only makes me more confuse than I already am. I must possibly give my head a vigorous shake like how all dogs give themselves after a bath. I have promised myself not to get expressively involved with anyone. I am not sure if I am doing it right because I am starting to disregard some people in my life. I am starting to get picky with whom I want to interact with. Once again, I am building the walls around me and I shall not nor allow anyone to break them. I am sealing my heart, reserving it for only those who deserve it.
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