Dear Diary,
I went door to door farming today and it was quite tiring than I expected. I carried 600 pieces of flyers with me and a little prayer before I left home. I wanted to bring a bottle of water with me but I thought I wouldn’t be thirsty but I was so wrong. I have planned my day and so I walked to the neighbourhood where I planned to do the farming. It was about 300 meters from my house. I did not know how it was going to turn out because that was going to be my first time doing it and on my own. I did not even tell my Manager about it. I just wanted to do it you know. Besides I did not think it was necessary for me to let him know. What can he do anyway?
Upon reaching the neighbourhood, I was quite surprised because there were more than 5 blocks there. All these while, I thought there was just going to be 5 blocks of flats but again, I was wrong. I was rather nervous. I took out my organizer and I jot down the flat number and the time I was about to start. It was 12 noon and I calmly planned how I was going to do it. I got into the lift and pressed the highest floor. I did from the highest floor and I walked down the stairs to the lowest. A block has about 115 units and I did 3 blocks altogether. Diary, if my feet had not had blisters from the slip on I wore, I swear I would have done more than 3 blocks but I was tired and I supposed I got worn out from it.
The blisters, the headache and the thirst stopped me. I wish I had listened to my instincts to carry with me a bottle of water and to wear a pair of running shoes. I sweat a lot and I felt like I was climbing a mountain. I did not leave any house without my flyers. I slip my flyers to every door I saw, opened or closed. I started with “Bismillah” and I ended it with “Alhamdulillah”. Occasionally, I took out my mobile and read the message which Flying Babe sent to me years ago. It was an old message but somehow I just wanted some motivations. Even though the message was old but the content of the message was enough to make me feel that she was still with me. It made me feel inspired and motivated. I promised myself that I will do it again next week since I have an appointment with HDB for the selling of my house tomorrow.
I am probably in love with someone who is not in love with me anymore. Call me crazy Diary. I realized long time ago that it was my fault for letting her go and now I am hungry for her love again. I deserve nothing but this and I shall face it like a woman. I have known that relationships are like glass, it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. Am I hurting myself by doing this? I do not care because for all I know, I still deserve to feel the pain and miseries for being so careless in something as delicate as love.
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