Missing Lady Luck

Dear Diary,

I am so stressed to the extent that I want to give everything up right here, right now. I am not unfortunate neither I am poor. I have not been hit by any natural disaster neither have I been in a bad accident that leave me handicapped. But I am all stressed up with my environment. I feel like banging my head against the wall so hard. But of course, that is just a wish that I will never commit myself to.

Have you ever feel that way Diary? I sent an SOS text message to Flying Babe just now. I think I needed some sort of motivations. I am servicing this client who is being quite difficult. Not difficult as in difficult to work with but difficult as in difficult to meet her requirements.

You see, she is Mdm Koh and both she and her husband are Malaysian PR living in Singapore. She intends to upgrade to a bigger flat with a budget for valuation at $330K the maximum with at least $25K as the cash over valuation. Therefore, her total budget would be $355K. Yes, it is fine but her requirements exceeded her budget and I am simply having a stressful time making her understands the situation. She wants a 4 room flat in a new estate, in Sembawang which is less than 10 years old, high floor, move in condition and within walking distance to the MRT and amenities. Diary, I have searched high and low but I cannot find any. All the agents that I have called up might think that I am wasting my time serving this Mdm Koh because everybody knows, a budget with that kind of requirements is almost impossible!

With that kind of requirements, she should have at least $400K as her budget. I am not underestimating her but it is the truth. However, I am still serving her because I know she is a genuine buyer and probably I may end up closing her a deal. Somehow, I know I want to serve her, it does not matter if I can find her an exact match to her requirements but I want to take her as a challenge. Furthermore, I am not serving any other buyer at the moment. I do not want to do another mistake again. She wants to buy and I know that, it is just that as an agent I think I must educate her and help her make informed decisions based on logic and market trend and not on emotions and desires alone. 

Diary, Flying babe replied my message. Apparently she is on medical leave today as she is having gastric. I don't know how I feel anymore towards her. Honestly, I still hope but at the same time I acknowledge the situations. I think she is seeing someone but I am not sure too. Did I tell you I saw a car parked at her porch when I wanted to hand deliver her letters? I drove off when I saw the car and I ended up posting the letters to her. Those letters were my last letters to her. I have not written to her since then. I still carry the little teddy bear she gave me whenever I went farming. I slept with the teddy bear at night by my side. She does not know about this. She does not need to know, does she? 

I miss her but I don't know anymore why do I miss her. *sighs* Love sucks so much. It's becoming more like a disease to me. I hate love so much right now that if it were a person, I would kill it by stabbing it repeatedly until there is no more place to stab and then I will just watch it die bleeding, I will just walk away from it leaving it to die on its own mercilessly. Errmm...Diary, I think I need to buy a punching bag urgently now or perhaps follow the advise of someone to put my face into a pillow and scream as loud as I can...let it all out...