dear diary,
last night was a very bad night for me. it has been a very long time since i felt that way. i came down with fever and i could feel the heat in my body. my body was warm and everytime i exhale, i could feel the hot air coming out of my nostrils. it was really bad you know, never have i felt so sick before. i took panadols after dinner but the pain still exists and it dragged into the night leaving me with little time to sleep. i kept woking up every 2 hours to pee and i have no idea why did i pee so much last night.
i couldn't remember i drank lots of water but yet the feeling to pee is so immediate that i woke up because of the discomfort. my head was spinning and it was pounding, i was shivering and i curled up sleeping. i have had fever many times this year but this time round is the worse. i couldn't sleep and always felt very cold till i had to cover my whole body with the blanket. the air conditioner and the fan were switched off but i still felt very cold, very chill like as though i had come out of the refrigerator.
i remember it was about 8 times altogether that i had to wake to answer nature call. i have never been in a position like that before. the funny thing is i didn't drink enough plain water to make my bladder active like that. everytime i got up, i felt very dizzy, my joints hurt, my back ache and i had to walk so slow like i was an old woman running out of energy. my head felt so heavy that i couldn't even lift it up and i felt as though it was falling to the floor. i think i only spent a total of 3 hours sleeping and when it was closer to 6 am, i was able to sleep comfortably because only then i started to sweat and that made my body becomes less heaty.
my back still hurts and my joints still weak but i have taken panadols this morning and i hope i will recover soon. i don't know why i am attacked with fever cos i didn't get caught in the rain. probably i have been turning in to bed so late lately.
blame it on all the late night tv dramas TCS5 is showing. i wonder why TCS5 has to play good dramas on tv at an ungodly hour. desperate housewives is showing every monday at 10 pm and ends at 11pm. on tuesday night, CSI is on tv at 10pm followed by The Practice at 11pm. wednesday evening plays amazing race at 1050pm right after american idol, and then ER at 12am. on thursday evening, it's The OC at 1030pm, followed by One Tree Hill at 1130pm and then Everwood at 1230am.
i am an avid follower and great fans of all the dramas and i never missed them so you can say my bed time is almost 2am every tuesday to thursday evening. it has taken its toll on me and my body is getting worn out. i am not getting any younger and i guess i have to take extra care with my body. i need to take supplements food for the joints and muscle. Royal Jelly is good, my parents take Royal Jelly and Omega Fish Oil for better digestive system.
i haven't been skating you know diary. it has been a month now. my toe nail is not getting better and it still hurts. it has recovered but it is happening again. i cannot skate cos it hurts, even right now, i am wearing my sneakers but the toe is pounding and i can't walk as per normal. it's such an inconvenience for me. it slows down my walking speed and i have to be extra careful when i put on my shoes and when i am wearing jeans cos everytime the wounded toe comes in contact with things, it gives an excruciating pain that leaves my face disfigured trying to endure the pain. it is really bothering me diary. i wonder when is the time it will be completely healed allowing me to wear my jeans without worrying of hitting the toe against the jeans, without worrying of wearing my sneakers too tight and without worrying of someone stepping over my toe in crowded places.
i have decided to turn in to bed early tonight because i need all the sleep i can get. my head is very heavy and i cannot afford to neglect my health anymore. last night was enough for me and i don't intend to suffer anymore. i am sweating now diary, it's probably because of the panadols i took. it makes me feel better now although not completely healthy.
there was an alarm from my palmtop reminding me about tomorrow's appointment with the housing development board. my eldest brother is buying over the house from my parents and we need to make some enquires on the procedures. there are rules that disallow singles below 35 years old to purchase HDB flats unless they are bringing their parents as the occupants. i am sharing the cost of the flat with my brother and i hope my CPF will cover enough. the property market here is not booming anymore, flats like ours used to cost 350,000 dollars but now it is only 250,000 dollars.
dad will not make any profits selling it this time unlike the previous house when he made 200,000 dollars in profit. properties and cars are two most expensive things in singapore. private properties cost 1 million and above and there is nothing that one can get which is below 1 million. it is unbelievable to hear that but it is quite common for us here cos we know the standard of living here is high and from the lack of lands, it is no surprise that the government has to make cars and properties expensive. if cars are as cheap as any other countries, roads in singapore will be congested most of the times and drving will not be pleasant anymore. as i get older, i become more tolerant of the many tight rules and regulations here.
we cannot have things done like in any other countries. cars have to be expensive because of the limited road space in singapore and the rules governing the buying of houses from the housing development board give priorities to married couples than singles because of the same reason as why cars are expensive here. imagine what would happen if cars are cheap and imagine if singles are allowed to buy flats as easily as married couples. if such were to happen, there won't be enough houses for those who really in need of it and the roads in singapore will be nothing but filled with cars from bumper to bumper.
recently there was a hot debate on the government's decision to build two integrated resorts with casinos. one will be at sentosa and the other one will be at marina bayfront. many do not oppose to the integrated resorts however, many oppose to the idea of having casinos in them. their main reason is the fear of adding up to the existing social ills among singaporeans which is to turn singaporeans into avid gamblers and to create an impression to the younger singaporeans that gambling is acceptable in the society. the government's decision to go ahead with the two mega projects is mainly because of economic factors.
it has been estimated that 35,000 new jobs can be created for singaporeans and the two integrated resorts can contribute to the growth of the country. personally, i agree and i understand with the government's decision to have casinos in the two integrated resorts. i have no objections to it and i am supporting the government's decision. one has to know that singapore is not rich in natural resources and the singapore economy has never been about agriculture. looking back, history has taught us that singapore prosperity was largely due to her trading business and as time passes by, industrialisation and tourism have been the other factors that contribute to the singapore's economy.
however, we know that singapore cannot depend much on industrialisation anymore as many major industrial corporations are shutting down its plant here and move to other developing countries like china for cheap labour cost. therefore we have nothing much left except for tourism industry. when the economy of a country is at stake it is natural for its government to think of ways and alternatives to boost the economy. if tourism is the only way out, then of course singapore has to think of ways to attract tourist into singapore.
we cannot depend on conventional tourist attractions like the museums, the zoos or the existing shopping centres anymore, we must start to think out of the box to boost the tourism industry. we must have something exciting, something vibrant and something which produces more fun to the tourist. if this means that we must have casinos in those two integrated resorts, then i think by all means we will have those casinos. despite the risk of adding to the social problems of the country, we must not forget that the casinos might help to recover our economy by creating jobs for singaporeans.
with factories and plants moving out of singapore, many are left jobless and being a small country with limited natural resources, we cannot afford to have unemployment rate going high. i can understand if those who oppose have the fear of social problems but if they are just opposing for the sake of opposing, then they are not doing any good. every singaporean has to bear in mind that the only reason why the government has to agree on the casinos is to help create jobs for singaporeans and to contribute to the growth of singapore economy. if those who oppose to the idea can think of something better to help boost the economy without having the casinos, then he or she must bring it up.
we are not thinking of the social problems alone but we are also thinking of ways to give jobs to singaporeans. every country has its own social problems and singapore is no exception, with or without the casinos, social problems has been in existence for so long already. therefore it is not fair for singaporeans to claim that with the casino on the way, it will add more to the existing social problems in singapore. and if singaporeans are claiming that the government is not taking their views into considerations, they are wrong. if you look at the rules and regulations to gain entry into the casinos, you will know that the government has taken our views into considerations.
if our views are not taken into considerations, i am sure such rules will not be implemented. one must stop looking at things as only black or white, but one must also leave some space for grey areas as well. what the government actually needs are ideas and suggestions to boost the economy and not just disagreements to the proposal of the casinos. anybody can oppose to the idea but can anybody really think of a solution to enhance the country's economy? let's be practical and pragmatic, we have to change ourselves to fit a situation and we must learn how to adapt to new environments. if we just remain the same person without changing ourselves for our own betterment then our lives will be stagnant and stuck. i just don't see why do we have to keep on opposing to such ideas when ultimately it will give back to singaporeans economically.
diary, i received a text from little sister. do you still remember my little sister? it's been awhile since i last heard from her. i really wonder how is she doing. i don't know where she is now. i replied her text but it seems that she switched off her mobile. i am not sure if it is her number cos it's new. i am happy to hear from her but at the same time i am also worried if she might be silent again just like aramis. i miss little sister diary and i can only wait and hope that our relationship will be like before. wherever she is, i hope she knows how to take care of herself and not get easily influence by unhealthy activities.
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