no more far and away

dear diary,

 i miss you so much and i have lots of stories to tell. my hair has grown longer and i intend to have it trim again back to the same pattern i had when i went to KL last two months. my hair grow fast and during this period, i just don't want to keep it long. i am not sure but i have been telling myself to keep it long but it is just not happening. everytime it grows up to a length where i consider long, i surely cut it short. i guess i am enjoying the convenience of wearing my hair short. when hair is short, it requires little maintenance and that is good. i don't even comb my hair nowadays. the only accessories i have on my hair is a clip. it reminds me of my secondary school days. i do want to grow my hair long, probably i will grow it long till it reaches my waist. i haven't worn my hair like that before and it surely will change my look. i can play with hang tuah with my long hair. he will surely love it.

he's getting very comfortable at home you know diary. he's always awake in the morning before everybody leave home for work and everytime he sees me in the morning, he will lie on the floor and roll his body till he can't roll anymore. he will put his feet high up in the air with his tail waging telling me that he's in a relax mood. he will open his legs wide and expose his tummy to me indicating that he wants to be rub on the tummy. he loves it when people rub his tummy. sometimes, when he gets mischievious, he would bite gently or nibble my hand when i rub his tummy. he is so adorable and i love him so much. the house is empty and quiet without him. we are planning to get another one to be his playmate. it would be fun watching them play with each other. dad told me last night that he wants to have another cat for hang tuah to play with. he wants to bring home a stray kitten from his office.

i told him not to cos we are planning to get a british short hair. alley cats are hard to discipline and they are more prone to climbing on top of tables and cupboards. hang tuah is a rag doll and he's easy to discipline. we do not have any problem with hang tuah except he is adorable. he is so irresistible. he's grown bigger now and his eyes are getting bluer. his face has shown some manly qualities and he doesn't look like a kitten anymore. i still remember the first day he was home. he looked so young, cute and vulnerable. he sniffed everything across his way trying to get familiar with the smell. it was difficult to hear his voice then but nowadays, i can hear him call out to us many times in the event he couldn't find us near his sight. he loves people and likes to be in the company of people.

my weekend was hectic. i got very tired and sleepy a lot nowadays. apart from the lack of sleep, i go out a lot lately. we were in JB on friday evening and on sunday afternoon. being in malaysia only makes me feel impatient to move out of here. it can be crazy sometimes being in a place where your heart does not desire. you feel so lifeless and bored. how i wish i was born a malaysian instead. when i was at angsana, i saw about 10 Kenari parked in a column. they were all kenari which have been enhanced. i immediately fell in love with it and i roughly get an idea how i want my car to look like.

i think there were all Kenari Aero cos all of them were with rear spoiler and skirting. i have always like solid white and black for cars and i saw 3 of them which were white in colours. they looked so good and beautiful. if i were to have one, i would want it in solid white without any trace of other colour. i will have rear spoiler, side, front and back skirting, all solid white in colour. i will change the bonet cover into a sporty one. the sports rim will all be full cover solid white in colour. seats will be in black all leather. gosshhh, it will look sexy on the road. all windows will have visors with tinted glass. i will have, ahh what do u call that...that metal thing that can be found at the bottom front and back of a car for protection. i want to have that on my car.

i am not sure if it is too much to have sunroof but i will only have sunroof after all other things have been done. i don't want to end up accessorising my car too much. ohh, if kenari cannot meet with my budget, then i might have to settle for kancil. if i were to have kancil, it will have the same look like how i want kenari to be. if kancil does not meet my budget, then i just have to settle for the bus. hahaha...i am trying to save as much as i can. if possible i don't want to pay more monthly installment so i have to come up with at least 10-15K downpayment. ohhh, i have to think of my course fees, my rent, my food and other miscellanneous fees, most importantly i have to think of my insurance. arrghh, it's not easy to prepare the stuffs you require for overseas studies especially money. but planning is made easy when you have sufficient money in hand. everything is within your reach when you have the means. no stress and no worries. i might have to work part time while studying. with transport of my own, i can go back to singapore as and when i can. i hope it is a smooth sailing for me, please make it easy for me.

the new car is cool. it's bright red in colour and shines brightly at any light that shines on it. there are many mazda on the road nowadays and i am not sure it is because we are driving one or it's just it. it has spacious leg room and that makes it comfortable. that's the reason why i have been going out often lately. dad said we need to warm the engine and get used to the car. the first trip we made with the car was to fetch mum from class. we brought hang tuah along and he left many of his fur in the car. we need to brush him more often nowadays cos he's been shedding lots of hair. i noticed that his hair come mostly from his tail cos that's where his hair is thick. when we got to the car park, we brought tuah out of the car and let him roam freely. he wasn't afraid only that he used the time sniffing to get used to the place. we went to changi for dinner after that and it all reminded me again of the flying waitress.

i can never not think of her everytime i am near to the airport. i think planes, tampines, pasir ris, changi and the airports will always remind me of her and i am going to live with it for the rest of my life. i wonder what makes her be reminded of me. *chuckles*

i chatted with a friend last night and it turned out to be an interesting conversation. it's been awhile since i had such conversation. it's not an intellectual conversation, it's just simple, plain, fun and most of all juicy conversations. she showed me a couple of her photographs and i conclude that she's sexy. she's lady like you know and i could easily fall for if i wanted to but that was just a silly idea. i have decided to call her Art, probably because i believe it suits her. art is attached and i usually chat with her on general stuffs and sometime, we exchanged grievances and share our predicaments. i dunno why she showed me a couple of her photos. i never asked her but she just showed me and i looked. i saw her ex partner and i saw her current partner. i didn't let her have my pictures. i grew sick and tired of letting people see me virtually. i stopped that habit a long time ago. it gives me no pleasure anymore, perhaps i have grown out of it and have matured with time living in the cyber world. gone are the days when i was the most popular chatter in the room.

i still remember it was at Anjungcafe where it all began. i like the chatters there and they are all good clean and civilise people. that's where i met nina and that's where it ended. that's where met aramis too. it's been 8 years now, look at how time flies by so quickly. i met too many people from there but i never revealed the real me to them. i regard that channel as a superior channel than any other channel i have chatted in. it is near to extinction right now and gone are the chatters who were the regulars there. i still keep in touch with a few of them. they are my most trusted and beloved friends. all of them waited patiently for me to be there and i am not sure how long they will wait some more. thinking back, i cannot help smiling and giggling at the sweet memories we have left in that channel. another channel i often frequented brought many friends to me too. they are the friends i still keep in touch till now. some have even become my confidante. can you believe that? look how technology have made two people become so close even though they are separated thousand miles away. distance is never going to be a problem anymore in this modern digital world.