dear diary,
i saw many skaters at east coast and i only realised how much have i been missing skating. i looked at my toe and i can only pray for it to heal fast so i am able to get back into action with skating. it's been a month and a half now and the fats and calories in my body are accumulating. ohh damn...i really need to start skating. the bandage to my toe has came off and i can see the nail is gone exposing the flesh, it's not 100 percent dry neither it is 100 percent wet but i can sense that it is healing, i feel pain occasionally but it is bearable. sleeping over at pizza's house really taught me a lot on how it is like to have a toddler in the family. it's not easy neither it is tough, you need a lot of patience and energy.
i cooked breakfast for them in the morning and i played with battery so that pizza can do her housework. she is 8 months pregnant now and her movements are very slow. battery is such a drama queen faking cries occasionally because i fell asleep while playing with her. i woke up to her cries and i knew she was faking the cry cos there were no tears in her eyes. i think she takes after pizza because pizza is such a drama queen as well among all of our cousins. she is emotional and more sensitive than me. it would be boring without her cos she always has stories to tell and things to say and having her around is never going to be boring. i helped pizza a lot with taking care of battery for the two days we were together. i helped put battery to sleep and helped to carry her to her bed while she was sleeping.
it is tough being a mother and i understand now why paradise is at the bottom of every mother's feet. battery just grew more attached with me wanting to come with me till to the toilet. i had to think of some stories to tell her not to make her follow me into the toilet. kids can become so attached to you easily if you managed to win their hearts. it gives me a little experience that i am needing to prepare myself for motherhood. oh come on diary, it's not like i am getting married but i know i will have children someday, biologically or not. one thing i learnt about having a toddler is, you will have some graffiti on your walls and never expect your house to be squeaky clean. i have always love big families and i was thinking about 4 children but now i think let's talk about 2 children first. *giggles* i don't mind taking in 4 children if they are not toddlers but if they are, then 2 is enough.
there's this tv show on tv called Adoption and it shows how couples managed their time, energy and money having adopted children around. some of them even have 12 adopted children and from different races! this documentary film is usually about families in the united states and i truly admire them for being able to love children who are not theirs biologically. i sometimes wonder if i am able to love the children if i were adopting any soon. i think i can because if i can love somebody who was a stranger to me and if i can love a cat who is not even human, why can't i love children who are not my own? it's debatable but knowing myself i think i can. i always have soft spot for animals, children and old people. they make me soft and weak at the knees. *chuckles*
oh yes diary, i watched Music Extravaganza and i saw Dayang Nurfaizah. goshh, i could really fall in love with that woman. her hair has grown longer and it makes me even more attracted to her. she seems, tall, dark, slim and sweet. she grooves and i like her moves. cherryl samad is another one of my hot favourites from malaysia. geeezzz, these women really have something that makes me crave for them. probably not the most gorgeous or beautiful but absolutely attractive and charming. *grins* oh well, i guess i can only admire them from far because these are the women that i can never have even if i am goo goo gaa gaa over them.
oh diary, i bought 'Bone + Formula' from Nature's Farm and it is for my bones. it contains calcium and i bought it at 20 percent discount, thanks to my membership. i saw one poster there about Collagen Matrix and i asked the nutritionist what are the benefits. she explained to me and gave me one of the brochure about it. it is good for the skin and helps to bring back the youthful glow. i have no doubts about the benefits but i guess i have to wait before i make my purchase because i think i have spent about 100 bucks this month for supplements and i don't want to spend above budget. i just have to wait for some other months i guess. i am already seeing the result from taking Primrose Oil and Vit B complex and i think the collagen can wait.
oh diary, little sister called me on my birthday and she wishes me happy birthday. she told me the birthday gift will be delayed a bit for the holiday. she promised me to send her pictures as well and i am actually looking forward for her picture than the present. kinabalu and decent exposure sent me their wishes through sms. kiddo sent me her wishes through email and told me her mobile phone broke and it is being repaired at a shop. she lost all her contact list in the phone and asked me to email her back with my number in it. i don't understand that girl. how can a person have her mobile phone lost, broke and soaked in water so many times? it seems unusual and i just thought that what is there to repair if the phone is broken? i don't really know how severe it is but it's just unlikely that you want to repair a broken mobile phone. i might as well buy a new one unless the phone has sentimental values, i might still keep it. i haven't replied her email yet but i plan to do so soon.
i am not hoping but was just wondering if aramis remembers my birthday. i think she doesn't and she never will. she always gives me false promises and i have began to learn not to cling on to every word she says to me. i know what she is like already and i have grown used to her styles. she probably hopes for me to text her a birthday wish on her birthday but she doesn't bothered to do so for me. she's like that, always will be like that. she only hopes and wants me to give her all the attentions in the world without returning me back what i deserve. i am not expecting anything in return but isn't it natural for a person to expect just some nitty gritty little something from somebody she deems special?
her birthday falls on the day i will have my driving test and we will see if i get any text from her reminding me of her birthday or probably she will do the same things like what she did to me the other day. i am sure something will happen within those period and we can only wait and see. i miss her diary, and i cannot wait for her to know that i will be moving out of here soon to KL. i just want to see what is her next move. i will not tell her unless she asks and i will not text her unless she texts me first. she will surely asks my whereabouts if i happen to text her from my maxis mobile line. i'm not going to ask her of anything anymore. i am not sulking but i just want her to make the move first. i want to see her reactions and i just want to know how far is she willing to prove to me what she has told me. i know what she is like, and i want to see if she can go beyond her usual self to prove to me something. we just have to wait and see.
i am wearing my new nike sneaker now. it's a birthday gift from my eldest brother. i love this nike sneaker, it's brown in colour with the nike logo and shoelaces dark brown. it's not made from the usual shoe material but it's made from rugs. you know that rug material where people can usually find rice in them. it's kind of unique that's why i like it. you know diary, once i started going back to school, i cannot do anymore shopping and i cannot eat luxuriously. everything has to be well spent and i have to be thrifty with my spending habits. i guess, it's back to the good old days but i am sure it won't be that bad for me. because i have shopped enough and i have more than enough shoes, bags, jeans, pants, clothes and everything else that a student needs. all i have to do then is to focus and give all my attentions to the books.
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