it was frustrating because I reached the post office early and I will be meeting hippo only after an hour so I had all the time to myself. I didn't know where to open the parcel and I was kind of shy to open it in public. coincidentally, I had to answer nature's call and while in the toilet, I just had to take a peek *grins*. I tore the wrapping paper and I open the box. there they were, two photos of her and she was smiling at me. *chuckles* she told me she's short but she doesn't look short in the photos. I am not sure because pictures can be very deceiving. she has shoulder length hair and her looks is a mixture of Chinese and Malay.
I was happy when I saw her pictures and I was saying to myself, so this is how my little sister look like. imagine this diary, it's almost a year and a half we have known each other and we have only heard each other's voices but never knew how each other looks like. so I had every reason to be happy about having the chance to look at her. in the box, there were a piece of paper with a poem she wrote specially for me and there was a gift which I have kept in my wardrobe. hang tuah seemed to be more excited than me over the present. I brought it home and placed the box on my table and the next minute, hang tuah was all over the box sniffing and scratching the box. he's always like that with new things at home, always curious and nosy and in his curiosity can make a clown out of himself.
I read the poem little sister wrote for me and I felt so touched. she's just so wonderful and I knew she appreciates me. I actually forgot her birthday diary and I am trying so hard to recall when is her birthday. I have to buy her something on her birthday. I just realised I didn't record it down in my palmtop. oh dear, I have no idea how to recall when is her birthday. I knew I wrote it somewhere in here but I have to search the archives and believe me it can be very taxing because I don't even have the exact month. you know, when I read the poem I knew it is from her heart and that's very heart-warming. I better get started on checking when is her birthday before I miss it.
hippo came and I hid myself from her. I watched her looked for me and I giggled to myself. I love doing that to her, she will look all so blur and lost like a child searching for her mother in a crowded place. I walked towards her slowly from behind and tap her shoulder when I stood right behind her and laughed at her when she turned to look. I have always been the playful and mischievous one among my friends. I will always teased them and joked with them over anything and we would all laughed to our hearts content. I remember one day in school when we just got our new mathematics revision book. mine was not in a perfect condition even though it was new. the front cover was folded and I hated it. I looked around in my class to look for a victim, I saw hulk and I walked up to him. hulk has always been someone whom I bully in school. he's big and tall but very soft with girls and I took advantage of it.
I carried my book and I talked to him about bicycles, I distracted his attention and I put my book on his desk and carried on the conversation with him with a hidden agenda. I made another classmate of us softie, joined the conversation to spice things up. I ended the conversation and took his book instead of mine back to my seat laughing happily in my heart that a mission was successful. hulk's textbook was nice, there was not any folded pages and I would like to have my book like that. I thought my mission was a success and I happily sat in my seat smiling at softie when hulk came to my desk with the revision book in his hand. he looked at me smiling and was about to take my book from the desk when I grabbed the book and ran away from him giggling so hard that I almost fell on the floor rolling. he chased after me and that made me even more excited and ran like I have never ran before. softie knew what was happening and laughed at us.
hulk couldn't catch me because I was too fast for him. I held tight to his book not wanting to give in and told him that it was my book that I was holding on to. I told him to settle with the book in his hand and just be happy with its condition. he smiled and said he knew I was lying and wanted his book back. I knew I didn't have much choice but to escape from him and so I ran to the corner of the class giggling and laughing away. he chased after me and I turned left to the other corner of the classroom. softie and hippo were enjoying themselves and I dashed passed them, stopped and hid behind them.
I made softie became a barrier between hulk and i. he tried to reach me with his hands but I had softie to obstruct him while hippo laughed uncontrollably. it was like a giant trying to catch a dwarf. the giant had his hands all over the place and the dwarf was like playing boxing with the giant, trying her best to avoid the giant's hands. it was extremely funny and anybody who had seen it would have laughed at us. the four of us were laughing and giggling away when suddenly the teacher came in from the back door. we became quiet instantly and froze ourselves. I tried hard to control my laughter. we were caught off guard and I had to return the book back to hulk and settled for the one with the folded cover. it was so hilarious, fun and childish of us but hey, we had fun and a good laugh and I guess that is something I will always remember. up till today I will still laugh hard about it whenever I look back and reminisce. I missed those days when I was 16 and had nothing to worry about. everything was all about play and fun.
hippo and I decided to have dinner at Sakura. while waiting for our food I saw a big family came in. there were 8 adults and 1 child. I felt instantly jealous when I looked at them at the same time sad. I knew the family originally consisted of only 5 people but it expanded to 8 people after the children in the family got married. I took a look at them and thought of my late brother. I have become so sensitive and sentimental nowadays I don't know why. I just thought that everybody's family is expanding but not mine instead we are shrinking and that's so sad. I spoke to hippo about it and told her that I want to expand my family. she looked at me and smiled. I guess she knows what I meant and I quickly told her that I want to adopt 4 orphans and I will make my family grow from there. hippo nodded her head and teased me to get married. I made faces at her and threw the cut green chilli at her and both of us laughed. one thing about hippo is she listens to me and put up with my attitude and I guess that's what makes us close. we tolerate each other's nonsense and have mutual respect towards each other.
lady-Jo called me out of the blue from kl. she has never called me and it was really a surprise when she did. she's coming to Singapore next week for 5 days and hope that I can bring her around. my family has planned to go to port dickson next weekend and I am not sure if I am able to bring lady-Jo around. since she will be here from Thursday onwards, I told her it's possible to meet on Thursday evening. I will probably take her to dinner at Newton for seafood or to lau pa sat. they serve good seafood there, I just hope she's not allergic to seafood. it's been awhile since I met her. the last time I met her was last year and that was only for a short while. she's coming with her gf and I can sense that she's happy with her butch gf now. her life is progressing, she has gone to places and has indulge herself with things she likes with her gf now. lady-Jo always contradicts herself. I have only known her as a pure les and I never thought she would go steady with a butch. I have met her gf a couple of times and I can get along with her. at least she's a fine and wise butch than those young and rowdy ones.
little sister called me today and I spoke to her about her gifts. I thanked her and told her how appreciative I am. we spoke long today and while I was talking to her, I imagined how she would look like. I imagined her facial expressions and her body language. I imagined how she would dress and I smiled to myself. I asked if we could meet whenever I am in KL and she seemed to hesitate. I was surprised because I never thought she would hesitate to answer that question. all these while, I thought she would have been waiting for me to ask but when I finally did, I realised it is something she does not look forward to. I was taken aback and felt a bit offended. I asked her why and she was reluctant to answer me truthfully. I insisted for an answer and then she told me. do you remember I told you about the email she sent me? she didn't call me big sister in that email and later on she honestly admitted that she had a crush on me and thus figured that if we were to meet, it would make her like me more and she's afraid of that. she claimed that she has been thinking about it till it has affected her sleep.
I never knew that it was going to be that serious. I knew she had a crush on me but I thought it was over and she has moved on from there. she has been keeping it to herself and only let me know when I pressed her. she seems adamant about not meeting me for now at least and I am not sure when are we finally going to meet. I do not know how to describe my feelings now, I feel really upset when she hesitated to meet me. somehow, I can feel it right here in my heart like someone has just hit it hard and I am feeling the pain now. I don't know now how sincere little sister is in our relationship and I am not sure where do I stand in her life. I am not sure if she is nice to me because she likes me as her sister or she is having a crush on me which will fade away soon. I never paid attentions to her reasons, all I thought was to meet her and I was turned down because she was afraid. it all reminded me of police when I asked her to meet. she was so afraid to meet me because she seemed to think that I might not like her after we have met.
I don't understand all these people, it's puzzling and it makes me confuse. if a boy and a girl can have a platonic relationship, why can't us the gay people? little sister apologised to me and promised that nothing is ever going to change our relationship. I am assuming that she is disturbed about the whole confession now because I told her it's quite hurtful to know that she's not ready to meet me yet. I text message her just now and told her not to worry about anything. I’m fine and I understand her. I don't want her to be worrying about it. I just want her to feel happy that's all. she's such an angel and she doesn't deserves to be sad or guilty. I love her diary and I really would like to know what does she want me to say to her. it seemed that she wanted me to say something to her when she confessed but I couldn't know what was it. I didn't want to say the wrong things either. I hope she's ok now and won't be too depressed over the whole issue. it's really nothing. perhaps we are not meant to be sisters after all, we can only wait and see.
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